Awkward Moment

I have been doing quite a bit of work around the house this week and have had to spent too much extra time in male drag.
As a favor, I dropped off a grille to a friend who owns a small tavern for his annual fish fry.
Of course I had to enjoy a quick one before taking off.
In walks a guy who has seen the real me. I've often wondered if he knew and always assumed he did. (The real me has never been in the tavern)
He didn't stay long but I did have a chance to buy him a beer. He always buys me one in male drag and even one night as my real self.
It's interesting in that I've never really seen him with a girl and he touched my shoulder on the way by.
The awkward moment came when he tried to leave and was going to hug me. I thought a handshake was better.
I'm guessing I'm already out to him!

Bringing Back The Hit's

Life has been so hectic this week that I haven't had much time to play or even write about it. I have however, manged to meet some new and interesting people from both genders. Several of which don't totally understand who I really am.

Taking all of that into consideration and with everything in my life zooming along at warp speed, this post seemed to be appropriate.

"Trans" Got Your Tongue?

Suddenly you find yourself beside or very close to a transgender person. Now what?

You want to say something but don't know where to start
The dynamics of starting a conversation are very complex! You've already figured we are not contagious or harmful. The hard part is over.
Three things could be in your mind. Number one, you are just curious. Why does a person want to change a perfectly good gender?
Number two, you want to expand your experiences. You want to add a transgender conversation into your life experiences. Unfortunately, this usually includes the process of telling all your friends! Hey! Guess what I did?
Number three, you assume the trans person is lonely. You are just being nice!
All three of these reasons are absolutely rational reasons! Curiosity is fine. Just try to be careful with really crazy questions. I do understand though you have no idea what a crazy question is. I'm patient!
Expanding your experiences is fine. Just don't make us the spectacle to do it. Don't be the first of your whole group to have enough courage to speak then go back and have the others "slink" up or worse yet "snicker" at us from across the room.
The assumption we are lonely is as false as the assumption we are all promiscuous. On the other hand a light conversation is usually always welcome.
My assumption is you are a genetic female if you are interacting with me at all. Men just have too many gender bridges to cross to approach us. If they do, the worst are the guys who want to call you "man" or "dude" and want to give you the knuckle buster male power handshake. Rare is the man who is secure enough in himself to converse with us. I'm really insecure with guys. First i have to find out if they know I'm trans and then try to figure out where they are going! I'm not one of the Trans Girl "male bashers" you hear so much about. It's just reality.
I can't speak for the rest of the transgender female community but I welcome approaches on several different levels.
I have no problem on explaining to you what I am. If I have the courage to express my true self and you have the courage to ask me... I will do my best to educate you.
I love to talk fashion with you and even guys and sports too! On the other hand if we appear to be unfriendly it is just that we are really shy and we have to wait for you to make the first move!
The approaches I hate are the "carnival" views and the "guy" bashing. Sure, I'm very different in many eyes but have some respect. I'm sure there are some skeletons dancing around in your closet. The difference is that this isn't my closet. It's my life.
As far you insecure guys go , please don't take it out on me. I know you have that pretty dress hidden at home. Hope it fits!

Want's Versus Need's

We haven't really covered much of the Transsexual vs Transgender discussion.
I am very sure I don't fall into the transsexual category for one major reason. I want to live as a girl. I don't have to.
Nothing told me when I was seven that I was a girl. Something did tell me at 10 I was very different. Life went on and signposts slowly were pointing me towards my female side.
Comments such as "you look better as a girl"  made me want more.  The trial and error learning process of living female in the public's eye left me wanting still more.
So what came first. The want or the need?
I can tell you the want has allowed me to feel deeply satisfied in the female role.  Do I need to?  I'm sure if you took the opportunity to live female away tomorrow; I'm certain I would need to.
Does it matter? No, not really in the scope of life. I do wonder sometimes how the transsexual tag fits me.
Then again, I'm probably the only one. My circle of friends don't seem to care.
So if no one cares... just forget I brought this up! lol