What It Feels Like To Be A Girl

Good question. I know what it is to be me.
I can tell you the dynamics of the clothes and where the breeze caresses your body in new and exciting places.
I can assume a woman gets used to all of that.
Certainly I will never be able to feel the birthing process or menstrual periods.
Many women though, never go through child birth and if I embark upon the hormone journey I may feel some of effects of overdosing on female hormones.
Actually, I'm teasing with you with much of this. If an editor of a certain trans magazine and I can come to an agreement; I may being writing a much longer article on this subject. (or most certainly on another)
I will never be able to tell you how it feels to be a girl. I can tell you very precisely how feminine I feel.
Then again the transgender community wants to tell me how I'm allowed to feel.
Have you seen any of the endless arguments about what is female?
In a typical male fashion, many transsexuals set standards of feminity. All of the sudden if you didn't open your first Barbie until you were 12 or did not subject yourself to thousands of dollars worth of operations...you can't really feel female.
Before I start an inane rant on a topic with no answer, feeling like a girl to me is admission to a sorority. More later!
Cyrsti

This "Bud's" for You!

Tonight I got called "Bud" in the women's room of one my fave spots. Not in the beer (Budweiser) sense...but the male name. I managed to control myself until the two women left.
I know one by name and the other by looks only. She looks suspiciously like the woman who got my rest room pass revoked years ago.
I thought, should I leave it alone or talk to her?
The problem was she was very intoxicated  and may not remember much of what we had to say anyway, so I  left it alone.
Later on in the evening I had to use the room before heading home. As luck would have it the other woman was back in the the bathroom,
Not one to be quiet , I said to her"why did your friend call me Bud?" She said "aren't you the one whose wife died?" Damn!
To make a long story short, I guess my history still precedes me. It's difficult to believe but I have been going there for close to 4 years now.
I did just lose my wife and I was very confused about life all together. One of the very unwise (stupid) things I did was go to a couple of the same places as a guy and a girl to see if I could. Well, I couldn't there and was immediately busted one night by one of the bartenders when I was in guy drag. Of course I went a step further and told her a little about my immediate life. Truthfully, I was so lost I didn't care.
Then came the experiment period when I changed hair colors and styles more than "Lady Gaga".
So realistically these women still see me as a guy who was married and visits in women's clothes.
I told her yes that's me...but not the same me and I would love to talk to all of them.
Keeping this all in perspective is tough, In grained reactions tell me maybe they are right. I am the same guy in women's clothes. Reality then sets in and I know I'm not.
The interesting part will be how well I can explain it to them.

Another Sorority Visit

I posted a very short response to the date I went on a week or so ago. Out of respect to him (since he reads the blog) I wait to post before I chat with him and will not go too deep! He turned out to be tall, attractive and intelligent! (He even turned out to be a wonderful singer.)
The two of us have chatted about what happened after the date. (He doesn't live around here)
Immediately the women I know in the pub treated me different.  Of course, they were typical females in that they were saying it all with their yes. I was non typical in that I wouldn't talk about it!
Most of them work there so they weren't in a position to say anything and the one that will has gone on vacation, Her return should be fun!
If there is a bottom line, I suppose I have climbed another rung on the real person ladder. The women who were hesitant to let me in their sorority opened the door.
I became more than just a trans girl who comes in and enjoys the music, sports and trivia. I normally just speak when spoken to.
As we know women are more into people and relationships and all of this placed me directly into their arena. All of the sudden the man discussion includes me as a woman!
I know I've mentioned I didn't know how much girl I have inside.  I do now...again.
The difference is I don't have to carry off being a girl. Increasingly I have to carry off being a guy.
It's all so exciting and scary at the same time.