This "Bud's" for You!

Tonight I got called "Bud" in the women's room of one my fave spots. Not in the beer (Budweiser) sense...but the male name. I managed to control myself until the two women left.
I know one by name and the other by looks only. She looks suspiciously like the woman who got my rest room pass revoked years ago.
I thought, should I leave it alone or talk to her?
The problem was she was very intoxicated  and may not remember much of what we had to say anyway, so I  left it alone.
Later on in the evening I had to use the room before heading home. As luck would have it the other woman was back in the the bathroom,
Not one to be quiet , I said to her"why did your friend call me Bud?" She said "aren't you the one whose wife died?" Damn!
To make a long story short, I guess my history still precedes me. It's difficult to believe but I have been going there for close to 4 years now.
I did just lose my wife and I was very confused about life all together. One of the very unwise (stupid) things I did was go to a couple of the same places as a guy and a girl to see if I could. Well, I couldn't there and was immediately busted one night by one of the bartenders when I was in guy drag. Of course I went a step further and told her a little about my immediate life. Truthfully, I was so lost I didn't care.
Then came the experiment period when I changed hair colors and styles more than "Lady Gaga".
So realistically these women still see me as a guy who was married and visits in women's clothes.
I told her yes that's me...but not the same me and I would love to talk to all of them.
Keeping this all in perspective is tough, In grained reactions tell me maybe they are right. I am the same guy in women's clothes. Reality then sets in and I know I'm not.
The interesting part will be how well I can explain it to them.