Famous?

I don't want to be famous! I didn't set out on this very difficult path to be in the white hot spot light. I'm a bit dramatic, I know!
A couple of nights ago I did find out I have made some sort of social arrival.
At my favorite pub (I'm always boring you with) they hired a new male server. He really tries to speak to me and even introduced himself.
At my advanced age I can't remember my name, let alone anybody else's, 
To be polite,I asked the bartender what his name was.  I quickly added I felt bad because he knew my name and I didn't know his.
Without hesitation she said "every one knows you...you are famous."
There are many ways to interpret that.
I guess famous is nice. The crew and managers are very nice to me and fortunately I present well enough to cause very little extra attention. It's our own little secret.
I work very hard to maintain my "status" and live in fear of a restroom complaint.
One side of me wants to rejoice. To those people I'm a positive transgendered role model.
The questioning side of me wants to ask why? If I presented better, they would have never known (like most of the clientele).
Maybe it is all karma. If a "stealth" life is in my future, I would have to trade in my "famous" existence. Hopefully others can benefit!

Transgender Flirting?

What happens mentally or chemically when we flirt? Could we or should we even consider flirting?
Oddly, I think if you are a drop dead gorgeous transgendered girl maybe you shouldn't. A sexual surprise to more than a few guys is not pleasant and they retaliate.
Since I'm not in that category and in the more mature age category (lol), why not have a little fun if I can.
My prime example was the married man across the bar I mentioned in a previous post. The "not so sly" eye game we played could be viewed as a form of flirting. Who knows what he really thought? Anything from why is that guy dressed like that to what is she doing all by herself? Most certainly, he was in town and wife wasn't so the mental wheels were turning in his head.
All of this is just another gender category I'm almost completely inexperienced with. Research is always good and this is some of what I found. "Learn to Flirt Like A Pro" from "Your Tango" was a great start. One of many informative ideas was the " flirty dressing style", which in that case was: low-cut jeans and cowboy boots. If you feel really powerful in cowboy boots, you're going to do your best flirting if you feel confident.
My "guy self" experience tells me  that most women are very calculating in most situations and flirting is one of those. I need the tools to "calculate!"  I just don't have the experience (yet) to process it from a girl's perspective.
As I have learned, any knowledge can serve me well when unexpected situations arise! Get to it Girl!

Seeing What Isn't There?

Or is it? We do so much with mirrors in a transgendered life. We mirror a gender we weren't born as but feel at piece with.
All of society is a mirror. We are not unique in that aspect. Growing up in our birth gender, most of us tried hard to to mirror what we thought society and families wanted us to be. The problem was the mirror was distorted.
The image it gave us was different than we felt and even different than we really looked. I've mentioned my confusion and frustration with my mirror several times Here is an example from a post I wrote last summer called "Mirror, Mirror on the Wall".
Please tell me I'm the fairest of them all!
On occasion, the mirror does tell me that. Then again, the mirror has been known to fib!
I have always had a struggle with that mean old mirror.
It told more than a thousand times I was beautiful only to be stared and laughed at in the first public venue I visited.
More than once the mirror said "you are plain and unattractive" and I never had a problem.
Before you want to jump to conclusions concerning the mirror's judgment, let me reassure you I passed through "transgendered puberty" years ago. I don't frequent malls and such in a micro mini and 5" heels.
Luckily, before I tossed the mirror into the trash heap , we called a compromise.
I told the mirror what I wanted to achieve and we have been working together to be successful.
My ideal was to be a 40ish, big and curvy girl. (My age and size made that a reality! lol) 45 and 5'10".
No real surprise with any of this. Society is obsessed with self image and males are obsessed with female image.
As transgendered women we struggle many times to show what is there. Our inner female self. Unless you are fortunate enough to have a sympathetic spouse or friend, you are on your own with the mirror. Not an easy task but there are many alternatives.  You may have transgendered support groups in your area that either have makeover parties or recommend places to go. If you are brave enough, go to a department store makeup counters and find a person who will help not just sell you something. I had a friend who had great success with a "Mary Kay" lady.
The important point here is that you are not fooling the mirror or a person, you are becoming the person you were meant to be. It has taken me literally years to get to this point.
One thing is certain. Society's obsession with looks is not going away anytime soon. Our challenge is to let our self image shine through the best we can!