Giving Thanks!

Once again it is time to take time out of our busy lives to give thanks for what we DO have!
If you are fortunate enough to have your health...that is number one!
Number two if you have loved or are loved...that is number two.
All the rest of life's problems are minor and can change on a dime! (If you have one!)
This time of year brings out the best or worst in our lives. Between now and Christmas, we have a chance to experience our families in the most positive of situations-or the worst.
Hopefully, this post finds you in the positive category. I do know though that many of the best of families don't accept their transgendered relations. So sad!
Finally, giving thanks includes a hope that all of you have a new family or friends to share just a touch of the season with.
Cyrsti

Can We Talk?

 One major topic we haven't discussed here is communicating vocally as a female. I guess I don't feel it is one of my strong points so maybe I'm burying my head in the sand.
I'm sure you girls know there are many places on the net who will give you pointers or even sell you tips on how to speak as a female.
I scanned a few and personally I'm a believer in the "middle voice" theory. I'm far from being an expert but the theory works something  like this.  The male voice begins down in the diaphragm. Now, you can work the male voice up to a false sounding falsetto which is as bad as the first. So you need to get to the middle ground. You are actually speaking from the middle from your vocal range.  That's the easy part!  There are other factors such as resonance, pitch and intonation. All of these send my head spinning!
Learning to walk and talk like a women. All at the same time? Wow!
My friends tell me my voice fits me as a girl and don't worry and that's great but...I do know I need a lot of improvement!
I do have a couple small hints I use.  When I talk to a woman, I use her as a "pitch pipe". You remember those things your music teacher used to use to get everyone on the same page! I try to get on her same page by trying to mimic her pitch and resonance. I also try to use a "background" voice which means I try to resonate from the middle. Not a deep voice but not a louder one either. That theory gets me in trouble in noisy situations. I am becoming more comfortable in projecting the voice I have but I do believe as I continue this trip, professional help will be needed!
Fortunately, as more of the public becomes transgenderized, some courses are popping up such as the one below.


By Amanda Hess (Twitter @amandahess)

Girl talk: Inside GWU's transgender speech

ON FEMININITY: The individualized program "also depends on what the client’s view of feminine is. Not everyone wants the same thing," says Hancock.
Some transgender women strike an unrealistically feminine tone. “Some people who come in are in their 50's and 60's, and they want to sound like a 20-year-old girl," Hancock says. "They have that feminine ideal of Marilyn Monroe, but that sound is so much younger than they are. Part of the initial program is about setting appropriate goals for their voices."
Others find that a feminine affect disadvantages them in the business world. “A lot of our clients have said that it’s really difficult for them to be in business meetings because they don’t get the same attention or respect with a feminine intonation," Hancock says. "They find themselves going into their lower voice to gain authority in their speech."

I doubt seriously if I will see a course such as this being offered at our community college. I have heard however that speech professors are doing some moonlighting in this area!
The whole idea excites and scares me at the same time! How much fun would it be to totally throw a person into turmoil that believes he or she has read you? A voice to go with the vision would be unbelievable.  No more quick glances when I open my mouth! (Except when I say something stupid)
On the other hand, I don't know if I have the confidence to do the voice training right. What if I fail?
Even if I did fail, what's the bottom line?
As my friends say, there are many women who sound like men. The problem is I don't want to be one!

I've Always Wondered

How do you decide when to shake hands with a guy?
I've always considered it the man's prerogative to offer his hand.That is until I read this short excerpt from "The Frisky". Ironically, I had the opportunity to shake a man's hand tonight before I came home and read the article.
The entire piece centered on flirting with a guy but in particular I felt this excerpt provided the best information.
"Introduce yourself and offer him your hand to shake. When he shakes your hand, hold his gaze and smile. You should disengage from the handshake first so you don’t come on too strong (a girl who won’t let go is creepy). Glance down as you take your seat, then back up again at him with a slight smile on your lips and in your eyes."
In the past, when I have shaken a man's hand, I obviously don't squeeze tight and try to slide my hand gently from his grasp. Judging from this bit of information, I can be a little more aggressive when I'm introduced to a man.