National Coming Out Day is today around here.
Of significance to me is the input I was asked to provide in
my Veteran’s Administration LGBTQ support group. In the group, there are equal
members from the gay, lesbian, and transgender communities. Yesterday, I was asked
when I came out.
I said I came out when I was sixty, or sixteen years ago. Then
came the questions of how I actually made the decision to come out in the world
as a transgender woman. Since my time to explain was relatively short for such
a complex subject. I did my best to explain all the nuances of giving up a male
life I worked so hard to maintain. Then I needed to try to explain the
unorthodox way I did it. I wished for the freedom of having the written word to
do it, so I jumped right in and quickly started how I left the gay bar scene and
went to the straight sports bar scene, just to prove I could. Making it all
concise was an issue but I did the best I could.
Then the questions shifted to how or who helped me on the
special day when I decided to give up all my male clothes, start gender
affirming hormones and come out. That person was my wife of ten years plus,
Liz. They asked how we met, and I said she literally picked me up on an on-line
dating site called “Zoosk.” The lesbians in the group enjoyed the story saying it
took a good woman to finally help me coming out. Which I said was true.
I appreciated the fact that the LGBTQ group wanted to hear
my story, and I tried to mention all of us are different. If you are
considering coming out, naturally it is one of the biggest decisions you will ever
make in your life. We have to sacrifice family, friends, jobs and more to live
our dreams. There is also a new transgender woman in the group who felt safe
enough to explain her gender issues last week. Her story meant a lot to me and
I appreciated her tears of joy of being able to talk to someone else about her
coming out story.
No matter where you are on your coming out journey, hopefully
you will have the support you need to achieve your goal. Remember, it is a marathon
not a sprint and there may be many bumps and dead ends along the way for you.
For those of you who have come out, hopefully you are able
to live your best life. Congratulations! Now with the current anti transgender
climate from the orange Russian asset, we need you more than ever before.
