Avoidance

 Connie wrote in and commented on the recent Cyrsti's Condo post called "Celebrity": 

Gay Bar

"I never felt as though I belonged in gay venues, nor was I even comfortable enough to even try to enjoy the experience. The last time I was at one, I had to physically fight off a large drag queen who was attempting to molest me right at my table. I was out with three cross dressers that night - none of , whom even said a word or lifted a finger to help me (their laughter just egged the drag queen on, in fact). So, that was the last time I went anywhere with cross dressers, too. 

I'm not saying that all drag queens and cross dressers are worthy of avoidance, but I am not of their mindset. I've stuck to going to more mainstream venues since then, and have been more comfortable and felt more free in doing so. Besides, there are far fewer gay venues around than there used to be (even if they may be more friendly to the T in LGBT these days)."

I agree there seem to be fewer gay venues and lesbian places have all but disappeared.  It was my experience the lesbians were for the most part passive patrons who didn't drink much. Taking up tables for card tournaments just didn't make for positive cash flow. My biggest missed opportunity in a lesbian bar came when they were expecting a group of exotic dancers to show up. I really wanted to see how that played out but they never showed. 

The only time I went out with a group of cross dressers was a night after one of the transvestite mixers I went to in Columbus, Ohio. Along the way a few of them managed to behave like a teenage drunk. Even to the point of getting all of us banned from the women's restroom. Even though I tried to distance myself from the rowdies, the damage was already done.

As far as drag queens go, I never have had any personal negative dealings with them. I just don't respond well to what I consider is a caricature of a woman. Something I have tried diligently to distance myself from. Just because an effeminate cis gay man puts on a dress and makeup doesn't mean anything to me. 

It's been years now since Liz and I have been to a gay venue. Not specifically because we were trying to avoid them, it's just because we enjoy the mainstream venues more.