Transgendered "Designer" Labels?

I know most of you are engrossed in shopping for the best presents ever for your friends or loved ones or maybe even your transgendered self! I'm going help and add a few more labels we wear.
Let's start with the pronouns: he, she or god forbid it.  Being a "crossdresser"  is mundane, being "transsexual" is so final and being "transgendered" means exactly what?
Tonight I had a wonderful chat with a new found transgendered friend who unknowlingly used the "gurl" word with me.  She had no way of knowing I associate "gurl" with "tranny" as a gender slur. Why? I feel female and I don't know what a "gurl" is supposed to be. Gurl just sounds demeaning and ugly to me.
Believe me I'm not blaming her, I was just a little sensitive from reading another comment directed at me last night from another person.
I've told you all before of some of my exploits on a few dating sites. I don't do much on them anymore-don't need to. Every now and then a comment about me still gets my attention however.
The comment tonight was "The hottest woman on this site is a man!" There was a day when I would have been elated reading a comment like that.
My initial reaction was "what are the other women here like?" Then I thought "I might be a biological male, but I'm not a man!"
Perhaps I'm just being over sensitive. I do know I have preached to all of you about the use of labels in our transgendered culture and what do they mean anyhow?
Obviously words can only affect me as much as I allow them to. Normally they don't and life goes on!
Good luck with finding your own labels this holiday season!