Even after all these years it happens. At every door. Entering any room full of strangers. The Adrenalin flow mixes with insecurity. A powerful potion.
It occurred to me how little has changed with this potion from my earliest days. From the first steps out the front door and down the drive way to the mailbox to the trips around the neighborhood all were so exciting and scary!
All was good a couple nights ago. I caught my shadow in the parking lot lights and heard the click of my boots when I entered the pub. Removing my coat and fluffing my hair was even more reassuring. All was correct in my girl world!
One of the reasons I like the place so much are the mirrors behind the bar. I can check my girl world. Sometime that's good...sometimes not so much. It was good that night!
At any rate, for some reason, my first trip to the bathroom produced some of the same old feelings. On my way out, I touched up my makeup and checked that all my clothes were in the right place. As I reached for the door to leave, it was as if time froze for a second. What or who was on the other side? What will they think of me? Is my posture correct? How about walking tall and proud in my boots?
Then I realized, nothing has changed. The same insecure girl is still there. Maybe she always will be? I'm sure genetic girls have the same problems too so maybe it comes with the territory. Enjoy it or get over it.
By the way. Thanks to all you current and new followers, Your input is always appreciated!
Sunday, December 26, 2010
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