Monday, December 6, 2010

The Girl with the Kaleidoscope Eyes

As I came home last night, I was pleasantly surprised to see the "BBC" was  airing a special about "John Lennon".Little did I know how special the show would become!
As I sat and watched, a girl from one of the Beatle songs appeared. Then magically,. "The girl with the kaleidoscope eyes." came into the room.  Her long hair was tied back with a colorful headband. A short colorful shirt revealed 3 or 4 inches of bare tummy. A long chain with a peace sign seemed to drop to her worn bell bottomed jeans.
Not only did I want to know her, I wanted to be like her. One of the hippie girls, long hair flowing and bell bottom jeans dragging the ground.  The girls in the mini's were impressive enough but I identified with the peace sign girls..tie dye shirts, beads and all.
As the show continued, Lennon's "Imagine" played. The girl was gone and I remembered how my heart ached as I flew across the world to a war I didn't believe in I watched the sunset from the plane's windows as Lennon's "Imagine" played on my headsets.  I thought...if I was her, I wouldn't have to go.
I realized quickly, those years made me the girl I am today.  I understand a little more now why you will rarely see me in a skirt let alone a dress.
How odd it feels to think I'm still the protest girl.  The one that rather hang out with a group rather than one close girlfriend.  Even odder is the thought that I might have been better at hanging out with the guys as a girl? Does all of this mean that all those years trying to be the "alpha" male were wasted.
No. One can only learn from the past not relive it. What is done is done.
So now I can explain why I'm the person I am. While it's true my inner girl was born many years earlier, she experienced the greatest personal growth years later.
This is no huge revelation, we all do it.  The bigger revelation is that the kaleidoscope girl opened my eyes to my past and I listened.

No comments:

Trans Girl in the Winter

Image from Freestocks on UnSplash. I happen to live in Ohio where there is often a weird mixture of the four seasons of weather. For example...