Sunday Final

Well, another week has come and gone, all too quickly.

On the positive side, I gained back my old friend, my lap top computer, I use to write with. Plus, I need to stop procrastinating and back up all my writing stored on the computer. One of these days, I am going to get serious and start in earnest my second book. The first one disappeared from Amazon when the company which published it went out of business.

This year, (knock on wood), I am in a tad bit of

Friday Night Get Together last month with Liz (left) and Jill
(Right)

a better financial situation, so I hopefully can afford to buy some help with the book this time. To be sure, I won't know how to act...or write!

Also, this week, saw another trip to my transgender veteran support group, lots of rain around here and yet another break down of one of our old cars. The car has been repaired and is ready to go, for awhile. Such is life.

The fashion news here in Cyrsti's Condo revolved around the wearing of straight legged jeans. Some, I know some would not consider jeans very exciting, but for those of us who live a full time feminine trans life, jeans are a staple of our existence. Just like any cis woman.

Nationally, of course, our collective hearts were ripped out again by a senseless  tragic school shooting in Florida. The words sound hollow, but maybe this time, change will be fueled by a youthful backed movement. Not unlike the one which got us out of the ridiculous Vietnam War.

So it seems like anymore, there are no more non eventful weeks in this country. We all seem to be taking a deep breath as we wait for something else to happen. A serious problem with our lack of leadership.

All of a sudden, straight legged jeans seem very mundane.

Back Home

I am back on my lap top today. Never in my life did I ever think I would ever be so addicted to a technology device (except my cell phone.)

Now it's easier for me to import pictures and links, etc. Plus, as I have written before here in Cyrsti's Condo, I rely also on my spell check too!

Plus, it is much easier for me to transfer many of my posts to Facebook or Twitter.

All of this reminds me of my fave jeans, straight legged, which are starting to become fashionably threadbare from wearing and washing.

I know Connie wrote in after the Fabulous After 40 post on straight legged jeans, saying she has a pair of work jeans which are almost to the point of being "distressed denim" too.

Most certainly it's easier on a transgender woman for her jeans to absorb all the stress!

Busy Week on Tap

For some reason, this always seems to happen to me, almost everything backs up into one week. Next week is shaping up to be one of those.

For example, Monday is the transgender - cross dressers support group meeting I go to fairly regularly. I go, because normally something happens which is quite interesting from one person, or another. After all, where else could I have met a transgender woman who is registering legally pregnant from her blood tests?

And, speaking of blood, Tuesday is my three month regular appointment with the vampires at my hematologist. They check for excess iron in my blood and take a pint out if it is too high. I have a certain trepidation due to the fact the person doing the work last time was not very good. The two before her were excellent.  One way or another though, I will get through it.

Wednesday, is my monthly meeting with my therapist. At which time, I will bitch about being mis-gendered from the incompetent clinician from the day before. Being the comprehensive therapist she is, she will commiserate and tell me to call her out...regardless of the needle in my arm.

Friday, is another scheduled  karaoke night get together with the trans-cross dresser support group. I have to give a couple of them credit for getting up there and trying to belt out very difficult songs. I understand the whys, but not so much the hows. For example, I don't think I will ever be able to listen to The Rose by Bette Midler the same again.

Finally Saturday, is our usual day to run errands and go to Liz's karate class.

Years ago, if anyone had tried to tell me my life as a transgender woman would be this active, I wouldn't have understood how it could.

Straight Leg Jeans

If for one reason or another, you have never been able to wear skinny jeans, good news is coming for the Spring. New, straight leg jeans are in, according to Debra Borland and the Fabulous After 40 fashion blog.

If you are like me, you may have asked what's the difference?  According to the blog:

"The main difference is basically the width of the leg opening. Skinny leg jeans have a closely tapered fit that hugs the thighs and calves and continues all the way to the ankle.  Straight leg jeans fall straight down from the hip to  ankle. Although snug through the thighs, there’s more breathing room through the knees, calves, and ankles."

And, more importantly:

"Straight leg jeans are considered a classic and look good on everyone because they’re more forgiving than skinny jeans. They’re particularly flattering on pear-shaped gals and inverted triangle bodies because the wider leg opening helps balance out these body types. Hourglass figures can also rock a pair of ladies straight leg jeans and gals with wide calves appreciate the extra width through the lower leg area."

Follow the link above for more information on making your transgender or cross dresser presentation even better!

Heads Up? Or Down?

I recently revisited experiences I have had being mis-gendered, mostly in medical situations.  Very simply, I have basically have given myself only a couple alternatives when I respond.

My one hard and fast rule is to be very kind to anyone who is about to stick a needle into me. My second rule is to call anyone else out on their blunder. I feel it is up to me to educate people on what to do when they encounter a transgender woman or trans man.

Connie wrote in and took her rules to a different level:

"When I've been mis-gendered or had my dead name used in the past (it hasn't happened since changing my name and gender markers), while in a waiting room, I would always stay seated for a few seconds and not respond to the call. People in waiting rooms tend to look up upon hearing anyone's name, but they go back to their magazine within a few seconds. I always figured that I would be contributing to the outing of myself had I responded immediately, and waiting just those few seconds allowed me to discreetly answer the call. Of course, timing is everything, as I needed to also make eye contact with the caller before she or he repeated. After we were in a private place, I would correct them politely. 

My spouse works in a dentists office. They are careful to be respectful of trans patients, and they clearly mark charts pertaining to preferred name and pronouns. Just a couple weeks ago, though, there was a new assistant in the office for a one-day "working interview." While calling the trans woman patient to the back, she did use the proper name, but she blew the encounter - and her interview - by proclaiming: "You don't look like a man at all!" I think she meant it as a compliment, but it just goes to show that even the well-intentioned can be ignorant, misinformed or uninformed. Of course, there are plenty of people who are just plain stupid, as well."

Good point! Thanks Connie.

Karate Banquet

Sometime ago here in Cyrsti's Condo, I wrote about going to a karate banquet held by Liz's organization.

I finally did get a picture of us to send along:

As you can tell, it's time to color my hair again!

Transgender Support Group

Yesterday was my Veteran's Administration trans support group meeting. This time, there were no new attendees. So, everything went according to plan, which is rather boring.

What I did find out, and contributed to, was a future date when the entire hospital would be subjected to a LGBT sensitivity day.  When asked what I would add, I simply said two things. The first of which was, we are real, not just something you may happen to read about.  We may be exceedingly rare in your mind, but try to hold it together. After all trans people are just people too.

My second point was, when you do encounter a transgender person, one of the most important thing not to do is mis-gender us. At the least take the time to call us by our first name.

The problem I used to encounter before certain medical units began to know me, was someone screaming out "Mr. Hart" when announcing I was next to be seen.

We will see if anything gets done, although the hospital is pretty good now with it's LGBT sensitivity issues.

Daniela Vega to Make History

From Remezcla comes a good news - bad news story:
The upcoming Oscar presenters list included familiar faces like last year’s winners, Viola Davis, Mahersala Ali and Emma Stone,  Marvel’s newest heroes Chadwick Boseman (Black Panther) and Tom Holland (The Amazing Spider-Man), and awards season staples like Laura Dern, Jennifer Garner and Margot Robbie. But one name had us giddy with excitement: Daniela Vega. The star of Chile’s Oscar-nominated film A Fantastic Woman, unfortunately did not make history by becoming the first trans performer to earn a Best Actress nod as many predicted, but she’ll get to grace the Oscar stage regardless. In a year when Sebastian Lelio‘s film celebrates the strength and stamina of a trans woman and trans director Yance Ford earned a Best Documentary nomination for Strong Island, Vega’s presence on the Dolby Theater will feel all the more historic — a sign, one hopes, that Hollywood is ready to embrace and tell more authentic stories about the “T” in LGBT. 


And, a strong sign transgender women are beginning to gain acceptance as women too!

Good News

Amidst the usual bad news surrounding the transgender world, comes a bright story:

A trans teen will be under the care of his supportive maternal grandparents after an Ohio judge denied custody to the child's transphobic parents, the Associated Press reports.

The 17-year-old was suffering from depression and anxiety, and was deemed a suicide risk, possibly because his father refused to accept his gender identity nor allow his transition. A juvenile court judge in Cincinnati ruled on Friday that the child should be under the care of his maternal grandparents, who support his transition and are prepared to allow him access to hormone therapy. The judge did rule that the youth must see a psychologist before he can begin hormone treatments."

Hopefully, more successful cases such as this will follow!