Twin Towers

It is not often I see a cis woman with a clear height advantage over me, but I did this morning during one of Liz's classes I went to.

Of course, the first things I look for are any signs the woman may be of the transgender variety, and I am convinced she wasn't.

I am about five foot ten inches tall, so it's not like I am a seven footer and I suspected this woman was "six-two" or slightly more. She was flat out gorgeous and I did my best to get in line behind her to check out her height and more. I could only hope that someday my hips would fill out like hers and fill out a nice set of stretch jeans. (A girl can dream!)

One nice thing about her being close to me was she took all of any possible attention from me!

***As you may have noticed, I am trying out new blog platforms, so I'm trying to keep posts short until I figure out all the bells and whistles...if there are any!

Wow!

It is not often I can find nothing to write about, even to the point of dredging up one of my 5200 plus old posts. I can often get ideas from other blogs or your comments. Today for some reason, not so much.

I have already written about looking ahead to the holidays and the fact I have another fun filled VA Hospital/Doctor's visit next week. Liz is off all next week and maybe she will take a break from her cleaning/cooking Thanksgiving ritual to go with me. :)

I am thinking about procrastinating a bit longer about putting my ancient old dog down. She (of course) is not getting any better, is blind and has a hard time moving at the age of 18. The whole prospect saddens me so much though, it is hard to do the right thing.

I wish I could write a cheery post about shaved legs and hose, but this blog has always been from the "heart" no pun intended, so I just can't. Plus I don't want to be "Debbie Downer" (I think I went to school with her.) So, I will say the sun is out, I have had my Cheerios and life is good.

There is no way, so many years ago when I started this journey, I would have thought I would end up here. I always thought I could put on my hose and heels and prance in front of a mirror and all would be well. It was for a day or a year until I started to go out in the world cross dressed and found I felt so natural I could not live without being a woman. It was about that time transgender began to be popularized and I began to consider the unthinkable...was I trans?

The rest, as they say was history and here I sit with hair down my back, my own breasts and hips starting to form. Exciting? You bet 'ya' but nothing to write home about everyday.

I guess I did have something to write about.

Back Again!

After a day of rest following my brisk day of activity, this old girl has rested and relaxed. Being retired, it was the perfect day to do so around here with the gray, raining cold weather we experienced all day yesterday.

It also provided me some time to think ahead to where Liz and I are headed soon and what I have to wear.

Interestingly, wardrobe has passed restrooms as the first thing I normally think about when I mentally plan my day. Of course blending is a major importance. This time of year too, I normally have a choice of leggings and/or jeans to wear and plenty of soft sweaters. Plus I still am planning a shopping trip centered around a generous gift card my daughter gave me for my birthday!

Plus, with the holidays upon us, it is time to plan ahead what I am going to wear for Liz and I's annual New Years Eve celebration at our usual Ohio Riverfront venue in downtown Cincinnati. New Years is always an extra special night for me because it marks the anniversary of when I took my first dosage of estrogen (HRT) and started this phase of my transgender woman journey in earnest. It was five years ago,not subtracting the six months I had to stop the process due to health reasons.

During the season too, there are extra LGBT events, planned plus my grand kids high school orchestra concerts to attend.

So, the season will be picking up for me soon with hopefully more great trans experiences to share with all of you here in Cyrsti's Condo! 

Riding the Storm

Yesterday was one of those long days. I seemingly had something going on every hour on the hour.

First of all I had to make the hour trip to the Dayton/Springfield, Ohio area to take care of two VA appointments and do some much needed lawn work on my property.

I have a tendency to want to dress up a little bit more to go to my VA doctor appointments but simply couldn't with the work I had to do, so I had to let my makeup, hair etc carry the day.

It probably doesn't matter much except with my therapist who will mention my appearance, except to me of course and the confidence looking my best gives me.

Yesterday, outside of accomplishing what I wanted to do at the property, my stop at the VA hospital's coffee shop proved to be the most interesting. It seems, I have reached rock star status with the two women who run the shop on a regular basis. They always know my name and ask where have I been? Not wanting to be a total smart arse, I don't say roaming a hospital is not my fave sort of recreation! So I just said the truth, most of my appointments are built around Mental Health. The reason being is the Veterans Administration (while providing HRT transgender help) still channels all of it through Mental Health with an assist of an endocrinologist.

Without outing myself as transgender or bi-polar, I simply told them I was crazy, which for some reason they were entertained by. I must point out, there were no other patrons in line for all of this fun and games. Most importantly though, both of them didn't miss a beat with my pronoun usage. I was subjected to a liberal dose of "she and her" through the whole duration.

After finally getting my coffee, it was off to trans vet support group meeting time.

Nothing of real note happened there except a discussion of how difficult it was for some LGBT folks around the holidays who have been rejected by their families. In our small group, one transgender woman fits that mold and normally shares Thanksgiving dinner with a local LGBT group.

With that, the day was nearly over except for a "survival of the fittest" drive home through Dayton/Cincinnati rush hour traffic.

I am glad the day is over!

YAY! UPS!

Connie sent in this comment:

1. "Well, I dusted off my old hiking boots and laced them up this morning. Not that I was planning on hiking, mind you. It just so happens that, yesterday, I learned I will soon have a reason to wear them. So, I figured I should get used to them now.
   
   The boots are a requirement for the job I interviewed for yesterday. I hate the look of them, but I'm probably going to hate more the brown uniform I will be issued on Wednesday. No, I'm not joining the US Army, but I will be working for UPS - at least through the holidays. There is nothing glamorous about delivering packages, but this doesn't really bother me at all. I'm confident that my femininity will shine through!
   
   I have to say that the interview was nothing short of amazing. This is but the second corporation that has even granted me an interview (the other was Kroger) from my application and resume. Within the first ten minutes, the young man from HR told me that I was just the kind of person they were looking for, and that he was going to put me through to orientation next week. Really? I'm 66-years-old, partially disabled, and (in case it wasn't apparent) a trans woman. The interview continued for another half-hour, and I asked about possible promotion opportunities. He told me that he felt I was already qualified for some supervisory positions, and that he was willing to recommend me for one right away. Then, he detailed the special program UPS has for advancing women in the company. I told him that I was interested, but I would still like to "start at the bottom," if only to prove to myself that I can do the work (it's going to be a physical test, for sure). One of the male privileges I had in my youth was to play competitive sports. I learned to push myself to the limits, and to enjoy the process. It never made me feel like a real man, but it did feed my ego to know that I could overcome the odds. In fact, I must say that my whole transition has benefited from this attitude. And I know that, in the end, I will still be a woman - a stronger woman. It's not the lacing of the boots, nor is it the lace of my panties, that make me who I am. It's also great to know that somebody else saw who I was and is willing to give me the chance to show it.
   
   Now, this is a great place for my joke: What's the difference between UPS and SRS? With SRS, nobody complains about a lost package! :-)"

Congratulations! :) Always good to hear about employment for a transgender woman friend! (Or just a woman friend!)

What an uplifting letter as in "up-lifting" packages :).

Such a Week!

It was quite a week for the  LGBT community. In all, eight transgender candidates were elected including trans man Phillipe Cunningham in Minneapolis. Plus, in Canada a trans woman was elected mayor of a town.

Also, Frump's ban on transgender troops was shot down in another court.

In the past though, for every step forward we take, seemingly something else comes along to push back on us.

Jenner showing off her baby? bump?

As long as we keep taking giant steps though, the push back gets weaker and weaker.

Perhaps all the news about cis women everywhere being molested has helped push us to the back of t the headlines. Something trans women know all too well.

Supposedly, even
Caitlyn Jenner has finally renounced her support for Frump (the lead molester) as I imagine almost all transgender women will!

Getting Dressed to Shoes

Liz is a huge fan of the Marla Cilley book, Sink Reflections. One of the chapters I am going to very loosely paraphrase is called "Getting Dressed to Shoes."

In it, the author goes into some detail of how the slightest detail of being a woman can make or break your day and/or demeanor. She says it can be anything from sexy lingerie, a string of pearls all the way to your fave fragrance.

But, she insists your shoes should at the least be something you have to lace up.

I know by now you are thinking, what does all of this have to do with me? I know several transgender women who wouldn't be caught dead without their heels, all the way to those who feel dead in them. I also know closeted trans or cross dressers who don't feel dressed without the feel of silky panties under their very male work clothes.

I found it extremely interesting how this cis-woman author described all of this.

Years ago, Liz asked me what kind of woman would I become (as far as feminine upkeep goes.) As you Cyrsti's Condo regulars know, I am mainly very casual but...if I know I am going out (even for a walk) I need to add some foundation and eye makeup. Plus I have the constant reminder of my hair and breasts to reinforce some inner femininity.

Obviously, it is to each their own, I also know several cis-women who spend quite a bit of time (at least an hour) to insure their hair and makeup is ready for public consumption...as well as trans women.

Indeed transgender or cross dressing variety is the spice of life and don't forget to lace up those shoes!

Saluting All Veterans

Being a transgender veteran myself, I would be remiss in not mentioning all transgender veterans. Including current or veteran serving/or served in the Armed Forces of the United States. When you consider the percentages of trans vets, you can not think about all of those who went before us who silently took their secret to the grave.

Plus, these days we (trans people) still find ourselves fighting for our rights to even fight for our country thanks to the current administration. Seemingly, though, those efforts have been derailed in the court system.

Transgender or not, thanks for your sacrifice.

Passages

As I continue to put together a possible workshop title for the Trans Ohio Symposium this Spring, I dredge up old memories and wonder why I went down certain paths.

One major one revolved the fact I had the penchant for certain people seeing me both ways, as a man and as a cross dressed woman.

As we all know, time makes for an excellent filter. Good or bad, we have a chance to re-live and wonder about the past.

One word which keeps appearing in my past is validation and my earliest senses of being validated as a cross dressed woman came from Halloween parties. In fact, it took me years to realize when somebody complimented me it was "You look good as a woman...for a man."  Somehow I finally realized the difference between reality, pictures and the mirror.

Summer Picture

I was missing the key element of feeling comfortable in my own skin which finally led to a confidence I had never known as a transgender woman. Plus the biggest key to it all was the ability for me to grow my own hair. (Yours may be different of course.)

Passages for all of us transgender women are easy to over simplify, which I think leads to the infamous "I'm more trans than you debacle."

One way or another, the journey never seems to totally end, it just gets easier with time...most of the time.