The "Good old Days"???

This is another of the Cyrsti's Condo archive posts I am presenting. This one comes from the summer of 2010 and represents a little of the tough times I went through during my LGBT transgender transition:

"The "scene" was another sports bar I frequented a year or so ago. It was the only place that I have ever been discriminated against.

Most of the abuse started when a group of younger redneck guys read me.  I put up with the cheap shots and comments because I do not let people like that run my life.
However, when "Dude looks like a lady" was played on the juke box 3 times in a row, it was time to go.  The wimpy manager wouldn't intercede (I was a regular) but that was his call.
The final blow happened a week or so later on a Saturday night.

Everyone once in a while, I will draw the attention of a GG who is positively entranced with the image I portray.
It has more to do with what I do than how I look doing it.  Between her and three other very curious "20 somethings" that night, I attracted a very serious "posse".
I loved it! All was good until I had to make a trip to the Ladies' Room. (An urgent trip!)
There were some other occupants doing what girls do.

One older bitter looking woman hit me full blast with "How's it going Dude."
I'm normally pretty quick with a come back, but this was different.  I wasn't a rookie in the bathroom wars. I've had to stand in line to wait with the girls and shared tp and fashion tips.
On this occasion I just smiled sweetly and said "I need to get back with my friends" (I think she was jealous)

On my next visit the same manager said he was having "comments" about which bathroom I was using.  So I left...gave him my frequent user discount card and left for a year.
I simply returned to the two other places I went to in the area (one for 12 years).
I finally did return last night. Just to see if I could. I knew the manager was long gone but the regular bartender was still there.(we never had a problem).

I watched the end of the ball game. Listened to some good music (one of the reasons I went there) drank two and left.
Problems? No, and I think I saw my old nemesis.  She did not give me a second look.  (A year of practice!)

By the way...on the way out I did have to use the ladies' room."

Also, I was asked to never use the Ladies room there again once and never went back...until I was asked to at a later date by a couple bartenders I saw at another venue. It seems the manager that "banned" me was fired for theft and I was welcome again.

Bad transgender karma for him I guess!

Cyrsti's Condo Archive Post

This post goes way back to June of 2010 and demonstrates how early I was into my transition:

"Finally found some extra time for myself during the first summer holiday weekend.

The weather was hot and humid so it was definitely time to pull out the denim mini that assumed a back place in the closet. It screamed my name.

It is worth mentioning the skirt only comes about three or four inches above the knee and I wear jeans most of the time.  I rarely wear heels. (boots the exception!!!) Don't don't put me at Wall-Mart in a micro mini and 4"heels PLEASE!

So a close leg shave, a flimsy off the shoulder top, flips and off I went. I must point out, I am not a rookie. I have been out and about for years. But I had a case of the nerves yesterday.
Don't know why.  My dress for the day was appropriate for a hot day. Skin in the summer around here is appropriate. Work dictates I can't shave my arms but I can my legs for comfort and fun. So bare legs help me blend in the summer. (I love it)
But for some reason yesterday I was being paranoid about presenting.

My first regular stop was a place I've been frequenting for years.  It is a national casual bar/rest chain with several big screens where I can watch my sports. A very relaxing start to the evening.  The feel of the bare legs was tremendous. No adverse reaction from anyone. Good.

My second stop was another  regular stop for me.  Big place, big screens and big mirrors to check my reflection.  Always my favorite place. It's dark too! I always look better in that light! lol.
Last night however proved the earlier bout with nerves might have been a correct premonition.
The bar was fairly empty so a "muscle builder" type guy with big arm tats had a clear sight pattern of my skirt and legs. Over the space of an hour, he put it to good use.  I received a lot of visual attention.
I own what I wear, if I didn't want someone to look at my legs...I would have worn jeans.  So I don't know why the nerves. My "spidey" senses were up and I was ready for the approach but fortunately he belonged to the bartender and kissed her on the way out. Over reaction ruled again.

What did we learn? Calm down!  "Me thinks" I will wear the skirt again for a couple of the guys I do interact with!"

I would have labeled myself more of a cross dresser than transgender in those days.

Happy Labor Day...Almost

Almost, because I am sending all my belated best to my readers in Texas impacted by hurricane Harvey. Hopefully, recovery will be as speedy as possible for you and yours!

Secondly, this post will be going live the day after Labor Day here because Tuesday (tomorrow) I will be busy all day having breakfast with my daughter and a trip to my attorney.

Finally, Connie did all my labor for me when she commented on a recent Cyrsti's Condo post basically revolving around being transgender as a choice:

"Who we are and what we think ourselves to be don't always add up, even within the scope of gender dysphoria. Some cross dress their whole lives, never feeling the need to transition. Others, like us, used cross dressing as a way to cope. That WAS a CHOICE - as was our transitioning. For me, I first had to make the decision (choice) to come out as being something other than what I had been presenting myself to be. That's when I quit cross dressing, because, if I were to discard my dishonesty, I had to allow myself to never present as a man again. It did take a couple of years to achieve 100% on that, as there were some family members who I felt needed protection (OK, I did cross dress occasionally, as a man, for that). Another choice, it was.

It's been over two years since I have had to choose anything having to do with my gender identity. I know that I could never go back to living the lie I had been caught up in for so many decades, even though, physically, I could easily present as male in five minutes. That's just never going to happen, though. That's not a choice I even need to consider making anymore."

Thanks again Connie!

WOW! Thanks!

Just received this message and could not wait to pass it along to all of you loyal visitors!

"Hi Cyrsti,

My name is Anuj Agarwal. I'm Founder of Feedspot.

I would like to personally congratulate you as your blog Cyrsti's Condo has been selected by our panelist as one of the Top 50 Trans Woman Blogs on the web.

http://blog.feedspot.com/trans_woman_blogs/

I personally give you a high-five and want to thank you for your contribution to this world. This is the most comprehensive list of Top 50 Trans Woman Blogs on the internet and I’m honored to have you as part of this!

Also, you have the honor of displaying the badge on your blog.

Best,"

Thanks to you too, Anuj!!!!

Just Say No?

It still amazes me how many "civilians" think being transgender or LGBT at all is a personal choice.

When I look back at over a half a century fighting a part of me that refused to go away, I have always said I wish I had never been born with this gender dysphoria. Life would have been so much easier. Even though I struggled mightily to do it, I was always fairly successful at being a guy. I played sports, dated regularly. did my time in the Army and fathered a child.

None of it did me any good, I could never shake the feeling deep inside that something was really wrong.  In fact (as I have written many times) I am a survivor of one very active and many very passive suicide attempts.

Through it all, I also had the deep feeling I was destined to live on until I solved the problem.

When I did, it was like a huge weight was taken from my shoulders. No longer did I have to think of myself as a transvestite or cross dresser. I was a transgender woman and had been one forever.

Of course, once I arrived at that point, I had to convince the world too. Life became at once exciting and scary. No longer could I conveniently stash my feminine belongings away and re-enter the male world. I was going on HRT and there would be no turning back, even though I told myself I could.

All of a sudden, my life as a trans woman became more natural and I knew I had made the right decision.

Now I am blessed with a partner and friends who accept me for who I am. I just want to let the others know I never had a choice...I had to be this way.

Good News? Really?

I shouldn't have been surprised by the back-lash over Mattis's decision on the future of transgender troops in the military. Many wanted more (including me) but under the current administration, I figured any move in the right direction was a good one.

At the least, the decision to do yet another study buys time to let the court cases involving trans troops work their way through the system and even gives time for a more organized fight in Congress to materialize.

I am a cup half full type of person.

Here is Connie's take: "Well, it's not bad news. I am a bit skeptical, myself. Should a draft be implemented, I guess trans women would still be eligible. But would the government recognize them as women? From the Selective Service website: "Individuals who are born female and changed their gender to male are not required to register. U.S. citizens or immigrants who are born male and changed their gender to female are still required to register." I guess it matters on how badly they need troops."

Since I got drafted during the Vietnam days, I have felt a universal draft should be utilized. Men, women and transgender...no matter. Not everyone would have to serve in the military, but everyone should have to do something to help our country. I am not a fan of our current entitled generations!

Jeni added her displeasure with my post: "

It's definitely pending Bad News, and definitely NOT 'Good News'.
That Mattis is wanting to come up with a way to enforce number 45's ban shows his true opinion on transgender military personnel."

It's very negative to say/think Mattis is automatically trying to find a way to enforce "45's" ban. You seemingly have chosen to ignore the honorable service put in by current/past and future transgender troops.

Thanks for the comments!

  

Good News!

From my Yahoo News Feed:

"WASHINGTON (Reuters) - U.S. Defense Secretary Jim Mattis said on Tuesday current policy regarding transgender personnel serving in the military would remain in place until he advises President Donald Trump on how to implement his directive on a transgender ban.

Mattis said in a statement he would set up a panel of experts serving in the Departments of Defense and Homeland Security to provide recommendations on implementing the ban.

He said he would advise the president after the panel reports it recommendations, and "in the interim, current policy with respect to currently serving members will remain in place."

Trump signed a memorandum on Friday directing the U.S. military not to accept transgender men and women as recruits and halting the use of government funds for sex-reassignment surgeries for active personnel unless the process is already under way."

Hopefully, 45's attempt to throw the transgender troops under the bus to cover up his own shortcomings as a president will fail. The last I noticed, the American military needed all the competent troops it can recruit...transgender or not.

"M
eet 'Sam,' a tra

Just Another LGBT Halloween Story

Most of my Halloween's I have written about here in Cyrsti's Condo, except for a few which have faded from my memory.

One of which occurred in Louisville, Kentucky in the early 1980's.

I acquired a tight faux leather outfit away from my wife's prying eyes knowing I would have to purge it before I went home again from the training trip I was on.

Back in those days, I fashioned hips and buttocks from foam rubber and held them in place with my panty hose. Of course the skirt was very short and my heels three inch high. In advance, I had smuggled my blond wig (known by wife) as well as my shoes into the suitcase and decided to purchase the rest before I went out.

My intention was to go to one straight venue and one gay one, which I did. After gathering my courage, the straight club turned out to be basically finding a corner to stand in, after getting my ass (or the foam rubber) pinched and fondled. I watched for any other "drag" costumes or other men dressed as women but didn't see any. In the years ahead, I basically found it to be the norm.

I quickly became bored and headed for the gay venue, only to learn I was too early for most of the crowd and training or not, I still had to get up relatively early in the morning.

So even less happened in the club.

Even still, I was still able to "celebrate" Halloween in a fun manner! The problem was, in those pre- transgender days, as a cross dresser, I would have to wait a year to do it again.

Blessings

Every once in a while, I have to step back and take a look at the transgender privilege I enjoy (knock on wood.)

An example was Saturday when Liz and I went to a family picnic at my daughter's mother in law's house. As always, I was greeted warmly and no mention was made of any LGBT issues. (Mine.) I even wore my "VA Serves LGBT Veterans" rainbow wrist band.

I am aware having a family which accepts me for who I am is rare and maybe getting rarer in this day and age. Plus, let's not forget, I have a partner who has always perceived me as a woman.

Now, I am not including my only brother's side of the family which doesn't except me at all, but they can go to hell.

Also, Sunday was another one of our Cincinnati Witches Ball meetings, where I am just me to everyone there.

Most certainly, acceptance does wonders for my confidence going forward in life! There is a rainbow in my future :)