Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Revisiting Danielle Berry

Following my post called "Another Transgendered Pioneer" I received two very compelling comments from Anne here on the blog.

"Some food for thought...

by Danielle Berry
[1949-1998]

[Compiled from a number of emails I sent in response to requests for input from those considering their own change.]

"Don't do it! That's my advice. This is the most awful, most expensive, most painful, most disruptive thing you could ever do. Don't do it unless there is no other alternative. You may think your life is tough but unless it's a choice between suicide and a sex-change it will only get worse. And the costs keep coming. You lose control over most aspects of your life, become a second class citizen and all so you can wear women's clothes and feel cuter than you do now. Don't do it is all I've got to say.


http://anna-es-asi.blogspot.com/2011/05/high-price-of-tg-borg-hive-think.html


More fro the late Ms. Berry.....

"That's advice I wish someone had given me. I had the sex change, I "pass" fine, my career is good but you can't imagine the number of times I've wished I could go back and see if there was another way. Despite following the rules and being as honest as I could with the medical folks at each stage, nobody stopped me and said "Are you honest to God absolutely sure this is the ONLY path for you?!" To the contrary, the voices were all cheerfully supportive of my decision. I was fortunate that the web didn't exist then - there are too damn many cheerleaders ready to reassure themselves of their own decision by parading their "successful" surgeries and encouraging others."

"I can speak the transgender party line that I was a female trapped in a male body and I remember feeling this way since I was 4. But, it's never that easy if you look at it sincerely and without preconception. There's little question that a mid-life crisis, a divorce and a cancer scare were involved in at least the timing of my sex-change decision. To be completely honest at this point (3 yrs post-op) is not easy, however, I'm not sure I would do it again. I'm now concerned that much of what I took as a gender dysfunction might have been nothing more than a neurotic sexual obsession. I was a cross-dresser for all of my sexual life and had always fantasized going fem as an ultimate turn-on. Ironically, when I began hormone treatment my libido went away. However, I mistook that relief from sexual obsession for validation of my gender change. Then in the final bit of irony, after surgery my new genitals were non-orgasmic (like 80% of my TG sisters)."

First of all I would like to thank Anne for wonderful insight into a situation so many of us sacrifice our lives and families to accomplish
At the risk of becoming too controversial again I have a couple thoughts on Anne's.
Are there more than just a few "fully operational" transsexual women who wished they had not gone all the way? Have I just been unlucky in the number of really bitter trans women I have known? (NOT Anne!) Are they bitter because they wish they had not went through the change?
I was lucky. In my formative transgendered years. I knew a person who I felt was a very unhappy individual after "going the distance".
From her I learned to be careful what you wish for. I also learned try to be very introspective into my transgender status.
NONE of that makes me a better person. For some reason, my gender identity problems were always centered mentally and not so much genitally. So I don't have a pedestal to climb up on.
At any rate I can't thank Anne enough for adding her very valuable comments.
Every time I think we have covered nearly all of the many facets of our transgendered world-we uncover another!

Two More Transgender Videos

Due to popular request, I have one more video to Cyrsti's Condo "Home Entertainment Room" and one to "Trannsnation.com.".
The one here shows a more natural "Andrej Pejic" and the beauty that he is. The one on Trannsnation shows a truly phenomenal transition!

Dating the girl in the mirror?

I started this post literally a year or so ago and discovered it when I was searching the blog for "Trannsnation.com" pieces to transfer. Here is how it started:
Who is your "girl in the mirror"?
Do you want to date her, bring her home to mom or be her?
Good question! I do believe I have written about our Mom's influences on who we have become or are trying to become.
I have said a number of times, my Mom was a good provider and had definite ideas on raising me and shaping my life-but was emotionally distant.
In addition, she was very skilled at trying to intimidate and run off the very few girlfriends I would bring home.
Probably the one I identify with the most now was the one college woman I was friends with for a period of time. (As with most of you, you have to understand my relationships were less than the male norm.)
She was a very outgoing curvy young woman with all this wonderful auburn curly hair. Needless to say, not my Mom's ideal!
So I guess I would have never truly been able to bring my girl self home to my Mom.
I have written a number of times about the blunt rejection I received when I tried one time only. The subject simply disappeared, never to resurface again.
A current meeting would be interesting in that I resemble her and may even inherit some of her body attributes such as breast size.
Would she ever embrace me at all? No, I doubt it. We are similar. Both are not going to change directions. For what ever reasons she couldn't change as much as I couldn't. In reality, did it make her any less of a person?
I often wonder how my life would have changed if she would have at all? If just a portion of the information was available to both of us in the 50's and early 60's, where were we have ended up?
Of course I "googled" the answer and got "no results".
Does it really matter? No. Do I think about it? Sure. In fact, I think about it every time I read about a young transgendered person who is attempting to follow their true gender preference.
The courage to go public with the process and not go "stealth" and help no one is astounding to me!
Deep down, I believe my Mom would have reacted different today.
On the other hand, I can't believe she would have ever accepted my version of my latest girlfriend anymore than the others!

Is Anything More Than a Handful Wasted?

Perhaps you have heard the title of this post (or a variation of it) to describe small breasted women. After two and a half months on hormones I am to that point.
I have devised my own measurement system-my hands.
This morning "the girls" are at a point of comfortably spreading the fingers of my hand as I cup them.
Other changes included a negative desire to eat my way through every piece of food I see.
So far I haven't gained much weight fortunately and  very little in my belly area.
I have been told my body is reacting to building a "female" layer of fat in the body. The fat of course is what enables the female to be softer and develops more fat in the hip and thigh area. I simply can't wait to be able to fill out a pair of jeans better than I can now!
I'm far from an expert on the subject, but the extra layer of fat equips women to survive as a gender over men because of child bearing reasons.
As I have written hear a number of times, one of my wonderful summertime goals this year is to finally be able to wear sleeveless tops and sundresses. Of course the softer my body becomes and the more my hips and breasts happen to feminize, the more satisfying the season will be.
If only from the fact I will be able to wear the same fashions as any other woman this summer and be much more comfortable in the heat-it will be such an improvement!
I have been told to expect a nice increase in the "girls" and the rest of the body will start to catch up in a year.
Of course there are many factors I know which can influence the process and my biggest goal is to relax and try to appreciate the process I've waited so long for.
Not much else to tell all of you in the emotional department. Smaller hot flashes after the huge initial one and no crying jags yet! I'm sure the first crying binge will come at exactly the wrong time!
Well, that is the current update! Now I have to go take my meds!!!

Monday, February 20, 2012

New Classic Video's

I have been working diligently (love the word) to post another couple classic and recent transsexual and classic female impersonator video's here at Cyrsti's Condo and "Trannsnation".
I also have been able to begin putting together a couple more posts on "Trannsnation" which follow certain themes here over the years!
It is like cleaning out and organizing an old file cabinet!

Transgendered Kids on the Rise?

This article was passed along from a friend. It comes from "Yahoo News". I'm sure all of us in the transgendered community follow with interest the stories concerning very young transgender kids.
The medical journal Pediatrics has reported a small but growing number of teens and even younger children who think they were born the wrong sex are getting support from parents and from doctors who give them sex-changing treatments.
"Pediatricians need to know these kids exist and deserve treatment, said Dr. Norman Spack, author of one of three reports published Monday and director of one of the nation's first gender identity medical clinics, at Children's Hospital Boston.
"If you open the doors, these are the kids who come. They're out there. They're in your practices," Spack said in an interview.
Switching gender roles and occasionally pretending to be the opposite sex is common in young children. But these kids are different. They feel certain they were born with the wrong bodies.
Some are labeled with "gender identity disorder," a psychiatric diagnosis. But Spack is among doctors who think that's a misnomer. Emerging research suggests they may have brain differences more similar to the opposite sex.
Spack said by some estimates, 1 in 10,000 children have the condition."
 
Of course there are many ethical  and non ethical opinions concerning treatment of young transsexual kids but I wonder how many of us would have taken the path so very early in life if it was offered to us?
Chances are many of us would have made the one in ten thousand cut!

Cyrsti'c Condo "Home Entertainment Center" Up and Running!

Check out the "center" for three classic transgender videos!

Sunday, February 19, 2012

Dealing With Discovery

I have passed along several of the amazing insights of "Sherri Lynne" who is a rarity in our transgendered world. Sherri is an actual transgender therapist who counsels other trans women and I assume men.
Recently her life was upended when her Mom found out about her new life.
As always, the post she wrote about the experience speaks volumes to all of us.
You can read it here.
I'm sure you will all join with me in wishing Sherri the best!

A Preview of "Trannsnation.Com".

I have finally launched a much anticipated (in my mind) companion website to the "Cyrsti's Condo" called "Trannsnation.com".
Initially I plan on keeping nearly all original content here and using the website primarily as a place where I can sort and compile many of the common threads we have discussed over the years. With over 815 published posts it was time to spread out a bit!
Admittedly I haven't done much with the "Trannsnation.com" web platform yet, but I'm loving the new bells and whistles.
I'm not exactly "Techno or Web Design Girl" so it will take me awhile to put it all together.
In the meantime my initial compilation post is called "Hormone Dreams". You can follow the link here
The post begins on Labor Day 2011 and finishes the middle of this February.
I began with this topic because it's the one that seems to create the most interest.
As always Thanks! to all of you for being along for the ride!
Cyrsti.

Good News from the Doc

Image from JJ Hart. Yesterday was my Hematology appointment at the Cincinnati Veteran's Administration hospital.     The hospital itself...