Just Couldn't help it!

I signed up for a vanity sight and felt guilty about it.
Somehow it did not feel right but I wanted to see what others thought of my look...as a woman. There was no transgender tag attached to it at all.
I ever so slowly opened the email saying I received votes. I was very afraid of the results.  Why?
I suppose the score validates me as a girl somehow?  A rating attached to all the trial and error work over the years?
Then I thought, what the heck real women do it why shouldn't I? I'm sure it doesn't validate them as biological women but it does validate their looks. When a girl gets rated the magical "10", sure she feels good!
Well the site I went on was "Hot or Not". I've seen other trans girls explore it and I was certain I saw a couple on the site.
Well so far, my rating is an 8.5! Initially I was flattered and humored equally.
Now my reaction is "Wow"!  How  great is it to be rated close to the really beautiful girls on the site!
But you know, it's just a picture. The inner Cyrsti is flattered but it doesn't make her a better girl!

Damn, I'm Old!

As I was doing my usual "channel surf" a day or so before Thanksgiving, I saw one of my million channels was showing "Ally McBeal" reruns all Thanksgiving Day. If you have never seen the show, it centers around a yuppie law firm. A very quirky 90's show with Calista Flockhart as the star.
I remembered being excited when I saw the shows preview's originally.  Finally a realistic portrayal of one of us! "Ally" was going to change the life of a "transvestite prostitute."
Of course I wondered exactly how long ago was it? 1997!
I also recalled that two things stood out in the show. The first was how Stephanie the "transvestite prostitute" looked. Very attractive with dynamite legs was how I remembered her.
I was not disappointed! I returned home from my family's Thanksgiving feast and turned on the DVD disk. the episode is called "Boy to the World" and it stars "Wilson Cruz" as Stephanie.
In those days, the "outfits of choice" in the law office were business suits with short skirts and Cruz more than held his own with the rest of the women. The best shot was when he was walking down a short flight of steps with "Jane Krakowski". The camera started at their high heels and followed them down the steps in their short skirts. The fact that Cruz had better legs was even more amazing because "Krakowski" was a dancer too.
Unfortunately, Cruz's looks are where the positives end.
The "transvestite prostitute" title didn't thrill me but again the show aired well over a decade ago. Ally and "Stephanie" (Cruz) did see a shrink who briefly mentioned gender dysphoria but that was it.
Stephanie was also treated badly by Krakowski's character in the show. I would have thought an upscale group of yups would have done better.
I would be remiss if I didn't mention "Dyan Cannon" in this show! She had the most amazing hair! The best part was she supposedly was way too old to have all that curly wonderful blond hair!
Awright girls, I'm not smart enough to tell you how to track this episode down. I saw it on the "Reelz" Network on my satellite feed. The rest is up to you!

Take It Like A Man

I finished a very interesting and complex conversation with my BFF genetic girlfriend tonight. She wanted to think more like a man! An interesting subject since I'm trying so hard to think like a woman.
She had just finished a very frustrating week with a guy friend of hers. She felt the only success she was ever able to have with men was starting to think like one.
So here I was, listening as a woman to my genetic friend wanting to be more like a man?
Be patient with me as I try to explain!
A guy she has known for an long time really drained her emotionally last week. She felt she needed the male "quick fix" to move on. Get out and go!
Guys are good with the quick fix. Simplify a complex problem "Git r Done" and  move on. By her own definition she had to be more like a guy in this instance. I used to have this mindset of course.I knew exactly where she was coming from. Fortunately, my inner girl kept pushing me to hear her out. Do not toss a quick fix at her!
The second major issue she mentioned was the most common. Men don't listen, especially the needy ones. (Her description of the guy last week)  We all know this is true. I don't even have to relate some of the stories I have when I was delegated to a  second class citizen. She went on to say "If I force the issue, I go from being a nag to a bitch." So true again!
So what's a girl to do? Probably what women have since the days in a cave. Work the man from different angles or kick him to the curb. Is that thinking like a man? If so my friend was there!
I listened intently. My female side was being patient and hearing her out. What was she really telling me and where did she want to go with it. My male side was screaming "The guy's an idiot and a loser!" Dump him!
We talked for nearly an hour with no real resolution, again to the chagrin of my male side. My female self on the other hand was happy with the fact that my friend seemed to feel better. At that moment, it was all that mattered.
If I had to guess, my girlfriend won't be too successful at thinking like a guy. She already knows how the male mind works and really only needs the right guy to come along.
At least I hope not. I really don't want my best girlfriend to start thinking like a guy.  Been there...done that!