Due to the state of my life lately, this comment is actually several days old and includes another comment/picture from Connie. Much of it revolves around the concept of "passing" in a feminine world:
"Because of the work I do, I interact with dozens of people every day. It is usually they who start the conversation, as I'm basically there to water beautiful flower baskets, and people want to tell me how lovely those flowers are. I just reply with a feminine-sounding "thank you," but oftentimes I'm asked how I keep them so nice and lush. If I've passed up until this point, that's OK, but attempting to keep my feminine voice during a conversation, and keeping my feminine appearance during a longer face-to-face encounter lower my chances of passing with each tick of the clock (Is that what they mean by "clocked?")
My philosophy on passing is based on passing muster. This may, or may not, include blending in. I pretty much draw attention to myself while working, but it's in a positive way. I realize that there are many people who may size me up before saying anything at all to me, and I'm confident that, for most people, I am passing muster. What I think is the best test of this is that I seem to be approachable. It's a lot different than interacting with sales people or servers, whose jobs are to be nice to the customer - whatever they may think about a trans woman.
At one of the locations where I work, on the pier amidst cruise ships and smaller harbor tour boats, there are more tourists from all over the world than there are Seattle-ites, so I'm often asked for directions or recommendations on the best places to see or go to eat. I'm sometimes taken aback when a good ole boy from the deep south approaches me with such questions. I mean, he easily could have gone to the visitor center right there, but he chose to come to me. I think I have the longest conversations with these guys, because I want them to know that a trans woman can be just as approachable and engaging as anyone else. Maybe some of them don't even figure out that I am trans, but it doesn't matter.
Every once in a while, someone will compliment more than just my flowers. I have sometimes been told that I am pretty, too. Women are more likely to be sincere in saying that, but I've heard, "the flowers are almost as pretty as you are" from men more often than I would like (men think they're so clever with their come-on lines).
Even if nobody spoke directly to me, I could take solace in the mere fact that I hear, all day long, parents say to their toddlers in tow, "See, the lady is watering the flowers!" At least they're calling me a lady, and I'm sure their kids will grow up accepting that I am, as are all trans women."
Thanks for the comment!
Monday, July 8, 2019
Sunday, July 7, 2019
Busy Day
Yesterday turned out to be a much busier day than I expected. In fact, it turned out to one of those "Army" style days when you hurry up and wait.
The morning started with an always exciting trip to the DMV to get new tags for our new car. Well, it's new to us! I didn't think I would be needed, so I grabbed a seat to wait for Liz to wind her way through an insanely long line to get to a clerk. It turned out since my name was on the title too, I had to step up and be part of the process. All went well until the clerk asked how we described our relationship for the record. I said "Partner." She glared at me and said "How long?" I glared back and said eight years and she seemed satisfied and went on to the next question. After an eternity, the whole fun filled process was over.
Next was Liz's eye appointment. The only thing I can say, the place was air conditioned and had comfortable chairs. Soon we left and headed to one of the close neighborhood specialty food stores to look for produce. After squeezing the mango's it was past time to head to the pharmacy because they close every day for a lunch break between 1:30 and two. Liz was offered some sort of a discount card for her prescription. That was the good news, the bad news was she had to call a number to get it. Of course by that time, the lunch break was upon us and we ended waiting the extra half hour to try to get the prescription filled. It all turned out to be for naught because the phone lines were closed till Monday.
All of the fooling around made us late for our next appointment. We were supposed to pick up a friend and be at a restored Cincinnati church which has been made into a craft brewery and event center. We were checking it out for perhaps holding a future Witches Ball there. Also we were supposed to meet the disc jockey we were thinking of using this year. By the time we got there, we were a half hour late. Personally, I loved the place. It brought back fond memories of escaping a hot humid day in a cold bar drinking cold beer and relaxing. Although the meeting itself made it hard to relax, I was treated like any other person in the place.
The disc jockey was a trip. We as a group got some push back for using him because supposedly he was a neo nazi in his past. So, we wanted to meet him naturally, to hear his side of the story. Interestingly, Liz said if he avoids me, maybe he is a Nazi. Because they would be more apt to steer clear of a transgender person.
To make a long story short, I don't think he is or was a Nazi and someone is just out to get to us through him. It's sad because all the money raised goes to charity (homeless shelter) and we don't make anything for what essentially is huge pain in the rear. I keep thinking this will be the last year.
After taking our friend home, we finally were able to stop at an Aldi Food Store and do some light shopping for a late dinner.
After all of that, we ran out of time and the day came to an end. Thank goodness.
Lesson learned? If and when you get a chance to live a full life as a transgender woman...never look back!
The morning started with an always exciting trip to the DMV to get new tags for our new car. Well, it's new to us! I didn't think I would be needed, so I grabbed a seat to wait for Liz to wind her way through an insanely long line to get to a clerk. It turned out since my name was on the title too, I had to step up and be part of the process. All went well until the clerk asked how we described our relationship for the record. I said "Partner." She glared at me and said "How long?" I glared back and said eight years and she seemed satisfied and went on to the next question. After an eternity, the whole fun filled process was over.
Next was Liz's eye appointment. The only thing I can say, the place was air conditioned and had comfortable chairs. Soon we left and headed to one of the close neighborhood specialty food stores to look for produce. After squeezing the mango's it was past time to head to the pharmacy because they close every day for a lunch break between 1:30 and two. Liz was offered some sort of a discount card for her prescription. That was the good news, the bad news was she had to call a number to get it. Of course by that time, the lunch break was upon us and we ended waiting the extra half hour to try to get the prescription filled. It all turned out to be for naught because the phone lines were closed till Monday.
All of the fooling around made us late for our next appointment. We were supposed to pick up a friend and be at a restored Cincinnati church which has been made into a craft brewery and event center. We were checking it out for perhaps holding a future Witches Ball there. Also we were supposed to meet the disc jockey we were thinking of using this year. By the time we got there, we were a half hour late. Personally, I loved the place. It brought back fond memories of escaping a hot humid day in a cold bar drinking cold beer and relaxing. Although the meeting itself made it hard to relax, I was treated like any other person in the place.
The disc jockey was a trip. We as a group got some push back for using him because supposedly he was a neo nazi in his past. So, we wanted to meet him naturally, to hear his side of the story. Interestingly, Liz said if he avoids me, maybe he is a Nazi. Because they would be more apt to steer clear of a transgender person.
To make a long story short, I don't think he is or was a Nazi and someone is just out to get to us through him. It's sad because all the money raised goes to charity (homeless shelter) and we don't make anything for what essentially is huge pain in the rear. I keep thinking this will be the last year.
After taking our friend home, we finally were able to stop at an Aldi Food Store and do some light shopping for a late dinner.
After all of that, we ran out of time and the day came to an end. Thank goodness.
Lesson learned? If and when you get a chance to live a full life as a transgender woman...never look back!
Friday, July 5, 2019
Flower Girls
As luck would have it, I stopped during my walk at a neighbor's house down the street to admire one of her flower beds. As I did, she came running out to talk to me. It turns out I was the first person in the neighborhood to notice and appreciate all of her hard work. With all the rain we have been having the flowers are doing quite well.
As always, I was a bit self conscious because I hadn't even bothered to put on any make up which of course I don't for my morning walks when I meet very few people. She was so engrossed with talking about her garden, she didn't even seem to notice. After all, she wasn't wearing any either and may have found it odd if I was wearing any either.
Ironically, a better example of a flower girl adding beauty to her plants just came from Connie:
Connie pointed out the picture was actually taken last September "when the flowers were on their downside." Sort of like she was. Well, we can all claim that!
Seriously, I am sure she gets a lot of compliments on the beautiful flowers and herself.
Thanks for sharing :).
As always, I was a bit self conscious because I hadn't even bothered to put on any make up which of course I don't for my morning walks when I meet very few people. She was so engrossed with talking about her garden, she didn't even seem to notice. After all, she wasn't wearing any either and may have found it odd if I was wearing any either.
Ironically, a better example of a flower girl adding beauty to her plants just came from Connie:
Connie pointed out the picture was actually taken last September "when the flowers were on their downside." Sort of like she was. Well, we can all claim that!
Seriously, I am sure she gets a lot of compliments on the beautiful flowers and herself.
Thanks for sharing :).
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