Happy Mother's Day

Or should I say, Happy Parent's Day?

For most of transgender people, it is a bittersweet day. A remembrance of un-accepting children. For others it is simply an uneasy adjustment to the new you. And, if you are very fortunate, it is time for you to be remembered as a parent. A role model for children to be themselves...no matter what.

As most of you already know, I list myself as a very fortunate transgender woman. My daughter is very accepting and I have made my peace with my un-accepting Mother.

For the rest of you, I will only say be patient with your loved ones. Hopefully, they will come around eventually.

Every year I hope this post finds more of you in the accepting category. For those of you still in the closet, the problem is trying to figure out ahead of time who will accept you and who won't. Most of the time, it is impossible to predict.

In the meantime, I hope you all enjoy "Parent's Day!"

Ladies

Today (Saturday) was typically martial arts day for Liz and an afternoon of running errands for both of us.

Something must have gone right for me today since the closeted cross dresser was even semi civil to me. The hour class went by in a hurry and I caught up on my busy work on my phone. I am trying to connect a guy working on LGBT history in Dayton, Ohio with Columbus, Ohio trans historian J.M. Ellison to see if they have anything in common. In addition the guy in Dayton was asking if I have anything to add. I really don't think I do because I didn't actually live in Dayton (just close to it) and so really didn't know much about the LGBT scene there.

The grocery store was predictably bland except for one possible other transgender woman I see there often. I was waiting at the bank for Liz to open a savings account and only was able to see her (the trans woman) at a distance.

Seemingly, it took forever for the banking transaction to be completed, so I spent my time reading a Cincinnati Magazine detailing the booming local/world food scene. About the time I was getting very restless, Liz and the bank manager emerged and the manager (also a woman) said "You ladies have a good afternoon."

Her statement was enough to erase any restlessness and propelled me on to the rest of my afternoon.

The day will continue on until tonight when we are invited again to dinner with a couple of our cross dresser acquaintances.It should be interesting, as always!

Man Speak?

If you have never been spoken down to as a woman by a man, you don't know what you are missing. I learned very quickly what I was missing...most of my intelligence. Both binary genders learn quickly how to communicate within themselves but normally aren't very good at dealing with the other gender.

I provided one example in my "Short and Sweet" post and Connie provides us with another:

"So, it's not just blondes, huh? At least you avoided the mansplaining.

I remember an episode of "Father Knows Best," wherein Jim was teaching his wife, Margaret, how to drive. While he thought it important that she have a working knowledge of the mechanics of the car before learning how to drive it, Margaret wanted to just turn the key and go. As I recall, they never got out of the driveway during that first lesson - which ended in a fight, leaving Jim bewildered at Margaret's incompetence and Margaret feeling down because of Jim's mansplaining. Of course, Father rarely knew best on that show, which aired in the 50's, but there are still many men who make the same mistake today.

Most of my working life was spent in the construction field. I knew my business, and I had (still have) a working knowledge of the building process. I learned something new every day, but not because it had been explained to me in a condescending manner. It was all man to man, and we spoke the same language. Since I began transitioning, though, I have found it best to not even let it be known that I am still fluent in manspeak. If I am working on a project around the house, and go to the supplier for parts (and maybe a bit of advice), I will allow for some mansplaining, but I just ask the right questions in order to get the needed information and materials.

Sometimes, the smart thing to do is to appear to be a bit dumb, even if there are other times when all I want to do is to turn the key and get on with it."

My best example still is the tow truck driver who wouldn't listen to my directions to my own house! At that point I was still very new to the feminine experience  and was aggravated for awhile until I learned this was going to be indicative of my new life.   FYI, I was a blond back in those days.