Feminine Spirit

Back we go to Michelle West's comment concerning meshing your feminine spirit with your male physical being.

One of the most common questions I get, continues to be, when did I know I was transgender.

Looking back, I probably always had a feminine spirit I was trying to contain. My physical male self fought quite the battle for over a half century.

Along the way, I worked when I could on transforming my male side into something more palatable to my feminine spirit just screaming to get out. Each time I was able to cross dress and get a short fix, life seemed better for a short while. All too quickly though, my inner girl was screaming for more. Ironically, she didn't seem to understand I was doing the best I could and my male self was fighting too.

Life was hell, when both of my genders battled. I self medicated too much with alcohol and became a "macho" drinker. Along with that came participation in many ultra masculine activities, like sports and smoking cigars. What made life even more frustrating, was being a guy came so easy to me on occasions and was even fun. At the same time, I never lost my feminine compass.

Slowly but surely, my feminine side began to gain a bigger foothold as I cross dressed and went out a couple days a week. I learned small lessons each time but was forced to go back to guy mode and forget most of them.  I endured though, and even began to establish a small life where people only knew me as a woman...transgender or not.

Of course, we all know how this story ends. All the doors magically began to open in my early 60's and I was able to complete a MTF gender transition. For years now, I have been able to live on HRT full time as a woman.

It took my feminine spirit a long time to do it but like any patient woman, she knew what she wanted and she got it. 

Spiritual versus Physical Transgender

Melissa West sent this comment into Cyrsti's Condo which prompted me to think about a different Mtf gender transition idea. It came via another comment from Connie.

Melissa WestJuly 22, 2018 at 8:57 AM

"Thank you Crysti for posting the FabulousConneDee comment.

I strongly identify with her last two paragraphs even though I am a continent away (UK England) and have not seen Lost in Transition. I had planned to move over to taking pharma hormones but I now realize that I am not yet ready. I have more work to do on self-acceptance and social integration into the female environment. In other words, my spiritual journey needs to catch up with my physical journey."

As I said, I never considered my spiritual versus physical transition., but it is a very real deal. And, it took me years to merge the two. Thanks to  you Melissa. Here is Connie's comment she referred to:

"I found it hard to understand how these trans women could be all-in on the hormones and surgeries before even taking the rudimentary step toward social transition. Whatever happened to the rule of living authentically for a year beforehand? I think it's a wise thing to do, even if it's not a requirement. If you are not able to accept your feminine-self, or can't cope with presenting yourself to the world without a professional makeover, then your chances of being happy with yourself are greatly reduced.

Of course, I think I've been successful with my transition because I've done it the right way! Then, I think again and realize that no two transitions are the same - nor are any two trans women. You won't see my wife and I on this show, if it is extended, however."

Finally, here is a link to the original post.

Super Trans!

From the "Hollywood Reporter" :

"The CW's Supergirl is making some important TV history.

The DC Comics drama has enlisted transgender activist and actress Nicole Maines to play TV's first transgender superhero.

Maines will join the fourth season of the Warner Bros. TV-produced drama as Nia Nal (aka Dreamer), a character described as a soulful young transgender woman with a fierce drive to protect others. Nia's journey in season four means fulfilling her destiny as the superhero Dreamer, which is similar to Kara's (Melissa Benoist) journey to become Supergirl."

"The role arrives as transgender stories are becoming increasingly common on the small screen. FX's dance musical Pose, already renewed for a second season, set a TV record earlier this year for the largest cast of transgender characters portrayed by transgender series regulars"