Happy New Years!

Well, by now around here at least, 2018 has arrived and it's a cold one! Well below zero (Fahrenheit) with wind chills factored in.

Due to the brutal cold, my partner Liz and I decided to spend New Years Eve together at home.

So, our special night out together will have to wait until a later date.

That's OK since we already have several other get together s to go to in January. One of which is a dress up affair I understand.

I hope where ever this post finds you, you were able to reflect back on 2017 and ahead to 2018.

Have a great New Years!

Survival and the Trans Girl

Here in Cyrsti's Condo recently, we have been exploring the relationship between cross dressers and LGBT transgender women.

As happens so many times around here, a couple of you regulars bring another sense of clarity to the subject. As in this comment from Connie"

"For me, being a transgender woman involved cross dressing as a means of survival until I could finally express and present myself completely. It was a combination of luck and a lot of hard work. The middle-ground became less and less an option, although I remained there for many years. I could no longer be disingenuous, however, and I believe that those close to me could sense that, as well. Had I been satisfied with occasional cross dressing, I would not have felt myself to be disingenuous.

As I am a musician and performer, I could easily have been a drag performer, but I never saw myself as one. My wife, in our early conversations, thought it to be acceptable for me to combine my "passion" for cross dressing and my passion for performing as an outlet for my gender expression. While music is a passion of mine, however, cross dressing was (and is) not. I was lucky that she came to understand that, but it took some work on my part to convince her. If someone who may have thought I were a drag performer sat through just one set of one of my shows, I think they would recognize that, too. Having the ability and permission to just be myself is all I ever wanted, and I can accept the accolades, as well as the rejection, because of it."

It's important to note she mentioned "rejection". Often the setbacks we encounter in the newly feminine world, are the best teachers.

I can't tell you how many times I was almost reduced to tears from cruel stares, comments, or giggles. Plus I wasn't even on HRT yet, which has driven me to tears for bad and good reasons.

Somehow though, I always found the fortitude to hitch up my "big girl panties" and get back in the game. Finally, I became skilled enough to exist in the world...on my terms.

I also was intriqued by Connie's reference to not being a "Drag Performer." The path was also indirectly open to me and it didn't seem to fit either. Plus, I have no performing talent at all!

Transgender survival in it's truest form. Thanks Connie!

Climbing Walls

As 2017 comes to an end, it's time to reassess the year and look ahead to 2018.

As I look at my life, I consider my Mtf transgender transition not unlike climbing a series of walls. Of course, some, like HRT or having legal gender markers changed are more serious than others.

2017 was fairly quiet for me. I look back at the year as one of stabilization. I was able to continue living day to day as a woman and learned from it...although not as dramatically as earlier in my transgender life.

Since I have been on HRT steadily now for three plus years and have even completed all my legal gender markers changes which are possible, what is next?

I still would love to have breast augmentation surgery someday to compliment my hip developement, but finances continue to be a issue in the near future.

Other than that, I still need to work on projecting an "aura" of femininity. I feel the need to out do cis women in this area, as they take their femininity for granted. Some, not so well.

Looking further back, I remember the excitement of someone like Cyrsti's Condo reader Marcia who is looking ahead to 2018.  Having the chance to finally achieving her dream of transitioning fully! How scary/exciting it was for me.

Either way, looking ahead at a new year is always exciting for me. A chance to find other walls and climb them.

In fact, I am thinking of adding "Walls" into my proposed Trans Ohio Symposium workshop in the spring.