Don't I Know You?

Last weekend, one of the classic movie channels showed the movie Some Like it Hot with Tony Curtis, Jack Lemmons and Marilyn Monroe. The 1959 classic is based on Lemmons and Curtis trying to elude the Chicago Mob in drag after witnessing a hit.

Throughout the movie mostly Curtis who appeared more predominately as a man and woman was asked "Don't I know you?"

Which brings me to a point from my last post "Oh No She Didn't" when I mentioned being recognized when I was cross dressed before I went 24/7.

Taking the subject a bit further was Mandy Sherman:

Oh, but as we know, they CAN and WILL recognize you! 

IMHO the only way to"possibly" avoid it is to NOT wear your hair the normal way when dressed. Mine "is what it is." All the time. Dressed or androgynous. And I'm recognizable. I don't care... 

A couple of years ago, I went into a restaurant on the other side of the Chesapeake, about 60 miles from home (in a congested shopping area), fully femme. A safe thing to do, right? Ummm...not so much. Our current next door neighbors were having dinner there. Oops. And I didn't see them.

I'm still not sure if they got an eyefull...but they could have seen everything! They didn't say hello till AFTER I was seated, and they both were on the way to the potty before leaving. It's hard to hide earrings, painted nails and a skirt when you're trapped at a table in a restaurant.

Those same folks invited my wife and I to a party at their house later in the season. I was nervous, but nothing was said...so I'll never know for sure what they saw. Yes, they've seen me running around the house in one of my house-dresses, so they DO know...

The makeover I sat for a couple years ago proved that the only way to possibly "not" be recognized is a drastic change in hairstyle. I have long, dark, wavy and somewhat flyaway hair with dishwater blondish ends, and the wig the artist put on me was a dark chin length bob, rather short and with uniform color. (You can see it in my posts "The Marvelous Weekend", parts 1 through 3 from August of 2014) 

With that wig, even my own mother can't recognize me in a picture! Yes, Mom knows I dress and isn't overly fond of it, but with dementia she doesn't remember (though she normally does recognize me in pictures with my regular girl clothes...) Fortunately, the memory disappears before I hit the door on the way out.

Hang in there, girlfriend!

Mandy

Thanks Mandy! I have provided a link to her blog above :) As far as "hanging" goes, these days I try to not let the noose get too tight!

Oh No She Didn't!!!

I know I criticize many different people and ideas I run into here and there in Cyrsti's Condo, so this post I'm criticizing several of the more questionable decisions I have made over the years.

1.- Walking urban streets late at night by myself. Not only did I do it, but I was not dressed to NOT attract attention. I am lucky I got by with nothing major happening except paying out a few bucks to pan handlers once. It was back in the day when I used to patronize a couple gay venues. Very unsafe and not recommended- the reason you don't see cis women do it alone.

2.- Driving a couple cars which were very sketchy. They were safe...when they were running. One had an electric fuel pump which sporadically would cut out on it's own and the other a gas gauge which would decide to stick. Both of which caused me immense pain a number of times. Again, late at night.

Daisy Dukes

3.- Thinking I looked great in completely inappropriate clothes and then walking through the neighborhood. The worst was when I fashioned an old pair of jeans into "Daisy Dukes" shorts. While perhaps I had the legs back then, that was it. Plus with my stomach, I most certainly couldn't tie off my blouse and show any skin!

4.- Clown wigs. I went to a rather lengthy and expensive phase when I thought every time I was busted as a guy, my wig was to blame. Often it was because I was not patient enough to save my money for a good wig and/or listened to a wig salesperson who was just interested in a sale. Notable mistakes were long curly wigs in black, red and blonde. When they brushed out, they resembled Bozo the clown. Another platinum blonde straight wig I had would have looked great on a teen or twenty something, but was totally inappropriate for me. I wore it one day with an extremely short skirt prompting one of my bar tender friends to comment "A little over the top aren't we?"

5.- "Flashing Semi Trucks", or pulling my short skirt up to the maximum height showing as much nylon clad leg as I could as I slowly passed a truck. This could be expanded to just wearing the wrong outfit at the wrong time. A time when I thought being validated as a woman came from looking sexy (trashy) rather than passing from within.

6.-  Burning bridges, for the longest time I thought people couldn't recognize me if I was cross dressed which proved to be wrong.

There are so many more mistakes I made, I will have to think of them and write another post someday. But, in the meantime, here is a small list of the stupid things I did...and yes. I mean stupid.

I was fortunate to have been able to get out of the situations I found myself in as I grew to understand my transgender woman status.

Don't Get Your Panties in a Bunch!

As I wrote about earlier this week, I went to my second cross dresser/transgender meeting this month. Unfortunately it was less well attended than the last one and the "snarky" cross dresser's wife wasn't there (either was he) as I suspected they wouldn't be.  In their place came a very smug real live 45 supporter post opt, another very new cross dresser to the scene and even another transgender veteran.

As the evening unfolded, the conversation degraded into a couple of the participants going into detail on how they had had to "beat down" detractors in the past. Look, I know most of us have had our share of transphobic slurs over the years, but going into gleeful details of physical responses isn't my idea of any kind of femininity. Especially in front of a new cross dresser who isn't "used" to the culture seen for the first time. It was almost as bad as when I went to my first transvestite mixer back in the day and some of the "girls" couldn't put their cowboy hats and big cigars away. And this was way before "Urban Cowboy". See Debra Winger!  Who could really rock the hat.

One was the Navy trans vet who I had seen at a clinic before and wondered why she seemingly put so little into her appearance, walk, etc. I used her as a motivation to keep trying harder to make the most that I can from my appearance. And, I can't be too cocky because for years I have been able to surround myself with other women who treat me as an equal. Which keeps the public in check for the most part.


So, for the second straight meeting, I sort of kept my feelings to myself and simply said my overwhelming public response to being transgender and even my early days as a cross dresser was positive. Or, I chose it to be. Sure I got the snickers (not the candy bar) on occasion, but I simply kept moving.

Plus I will admit to the rest room incidents I encountered along the way which still give me PTSD when I have to pee. None of which have soured me or deterred me from loving the life I am leading now.

It just saddens me to see others- be them cross dressers or transgender women be so negative and aggressive. Maybe those on HRT need a little higher dosage of Estrogen?