Life Turns on a Dime-If You can Find One...Part One

Perhaps one of the curses of old age is the ability to look back over your life and see with some sort of clarity your "hits and misses"

I could fill another blog with all the stupid things I did but for the sake of  brevity I am going to keep this relatively short.

In some sort of numerical order, I'm going back to my own paper route days. (early 1960's) I saved my hard earned money from the route, mowed grass, shoveled snow then bought and stashed my own make up and shoes. Every once in a while I was given the job of cleaning both locker rooms and I was able to find a skirt big enough to fit me, so essentially I was in business.

I lived in a rural area so imagine my surprise when one of my only available friends and especially his Mom seemed into us dressing as girls. Also during this time, I began to drive an old 55 Ford around the barnyard and try to smoke his Mom's Lucky Stripes cigarettes. Quite the combination of experiences. It's hard to say how far all of this "experimentation" would have taken us as he moved away not long after that. I was 14.

Fast forward to 1967 when I went to Proms as a senior and desperately wanted to be the girl only to know the Vietnam War and the draft was bearing down on me as hard as a runaway truck. I worked the college route hard for four years until my lottery number came up in the teens and I was off to the Army. The only lottery I have won to this day, but I hit the jackpot. Along with many other raw soldiers during the winter of 1968 at Ft. Knox, I learned the hard way how team work really worked and how to get into shape. All the time licking my wounds from pre Army breakup from my finance who knew I was a cross dresser. She said tell the Army I was gay or she was gone.

Little did I know I would see three continents in three years compliments of Uncle Sam and most important, I met the mother of my daughter who is my most cherished possession. I also didn't know of the benefits I have to this day (unless the Republicans take them away.)

After the Army I tried to drink my gender dysphoria away for years to no avail, went through two marriages and tried to actively commit suicide once.

As I said...this post should and will be presented in more than one part. Stay tuned :)

Why Not a Trans Woman?

Following my recent post concerning my recent encounter with a transgender "admirer", I thought about bringing back an old post I had written years ago singing the praises of trans women.

Rather than searching through nearly 4500 archived blog posts, I decided to re-write a whole new post.

First of all, I believe many transgender women have the capabilities to understand a cis-man more than a cis woman. After all, we walked a mile or so in guys shoes during our lives and know how both sides think to an extent.

Having said that, I also think the very point has the potential to scare a lot of guys off. What if we understand too much? Would the whole process give us too much of an upper hand in a relationship?

Then, another elephant in a room full of them is how a man brings a transgender woman home to meet the family? It's bad enough if you are doing it alone.

Finally, there is the ultimate problem with sexuality-normally on the man's part. Does he face up to being gay when indeed he doesn't have to because the trans woman has long since quit seeing herself as a guy?

I'm biased but I think a transgender mate can provide a rich and unique life experience to any relationship. I also think admirers are so aggressive because we trans girls are so rare and even exotic to some.

Perhaps though, some transgender women migrate back to cis women because of some of the basic courtesies of life...like not getting stood up on dates to start with. But then again there is the on going problem of so many trans women being so damned nasty.

So I've tried to dodge the herd of elephants in a very small room and deal with a very complex subject! Excuse me while I clean up the mess!

The "Apple" of His Eye?

It's been awhile since I have encountered an admirer.

For you who do not know, the simplest definition of an admirer is a cis-male who is attracted to a transgender woman or crossdresser.

This person stumbled (not literally) on me through another transgender woman I know. Ironically our disagreement on the causes of global warming opened the door to further communication- on the internet even.

Before I knew it we were off the subject and onto the fact of how friendly I seemed. From there he went to the usual series of questions concerning how far along was my transition, how pretty I was and oh, by the way-what was my sexuality. He understood I was in a relationship and a lesbian.

By this time I had to respect how smooth he was. Mark Twain and global warming all the way to my sexuality in under 10 questions.

Of course he was going to ask me out too (I still have no idea where he lives).

All of this goes back to an old movie I never saw "Trans Girls are Easy." Admirers must have it on their most watched list.