Demarcation Point?

Is the bra a line between a cross dresser and a transgender woman? Here is Connie's take:  "I've heard it said that the line is separated by the fact that a cross dresser can't wait to get home from work and put a bra on, while the transgender woman can't wait to get home to take hers off. Other than that, cross dressing is "what" one does, while being a transgender woman (or man) is "who" one is. It is the "why" question that forms the thin line. "When" and "where" can also be factors."

I really like the definitions here Connie-thanks! I know it took me years to figure out why I needed to do more than just put the feminine clothes on. I could never figure out why the "thrill" of dressing like a girl had long sense lost it's charm. It became more important to me to be more efficient in the process of being able to do the best I could to present my inner female to the outside world. When the stars began to align, I began to understand I was indeed transgender and not a cross dresser. Which, there is absolutely nothing wrong with. The problems naturally occur when we can not align our inner and exterior genders.

And oh by the way, I can't wait to get my bra off!

It's a Thin Line

Last week during my transgender veteran support group I told a couple of experiences I had during what I called my "formative" years as a cross dresser. By formative I mean I was searching to see if a feminine life for me was all I thought it would/could be.

Every time I describe myself as a "former crossdresser" I look for reactions at the same time.

Why?

I know transgender purists say you are trans or not from basically birth and by all accounts I was. The problems came as I built a rather successful male life, it became harder and harder to give up. Plus, information on transgender people was just not as available (or available at all to us.)

So when I talked about singing karaoke with a very masculine lesbian in her cowboy hat (by her direction) and trying to beat my wife home from work at midnight, you can understand the confused or bemused looks around the table.

I find it amusing too that my therapist doesn't understand my past and present paranoia about using the correct restroom (women's). After all it was me who had the cops called on me three times. I learned quickly the proper rest room etiquette and then some. I always carried some sort of feminine hygiene product just in case a not so slick cis woman tried to trip me up, and I had one.

So, the line was thin between being an accomplished cross dresser and a transgender woman-if you believe there ever was one. I know some of you do and some don't and I know too there are a few cis women (GG's) who keep up with the blog who wonder too about their spouses. Which is another blog post altogether.

Some day we will have to cross that thin line.

Thanks!

We received several nice holiday greetings here in Cyrsti's Condo from Paula, Mandy, Connie,Calie and others! Happy holidays to you and yours :).

Most of  our work was done Christmas Eve, so Liz and I had a chance to kick back and relax and watch my fave seasonal classic-A Christmas Story. It's a period piece which takes place in Cleveland, Ohio and among other plot lines, involves a pre teen boys' quest to get a BB Gun for Christmas. Which is exactly what I did not want to get but did anyhow. My brother got one too and we used to have shootouts in the backyard. I could never hit him but he could me. As I progressed through life, I found I was never destined to be much better of a marksman. Even in the Army.

At the least though, since I have been able to transition finally, I can watch the movie for it's own sake and catch more of the humor. It's amazing how that works.

On the flip side, North Carolina managed to stay in the transgender dark ages and not rescind it's discriminatory bathroom law. Which essentially means I would have to use a men's room in public places. On the other hand Kentucky's very Republican governor said he would veto any attempt to pass a similar bill. A move which would hurt the many civilized areas of Kentucky such as the part across from Cincinnati, Lexington, Louisville, Frankfort and others. So the boycott of North Carolina did work...just not there.

Again, thanks all for checking in and following the blog and to all the rest of you who do too! (The silent majority dare I say.)