To Be or Not to Be

I have two especially musical terms. One is to be called ma'am or lady and the second is to be told I look nice by my toughest critic (and partner) Liz. Actually, the two often happen hand in hand. Let's take Sunday for example.

I was going to wear my new teal colored sweater with a pair of leggings and boots for Transgender Day of Remembrance. Unfortunately the only leggings I could find were brown ones and as I watched her eyes work me over from head to toe, I steeled myself for rejection. She said I looked like a character out of "Robin Hood Men in Tights." Not exactly a ringing endorsement. So I changed and received the go ahead and more.

Sometimes it is tough to set my ego aside and realize where I am in this process but I do. Years ago tough lessons taught me to learn the mirror did not always tell the truth.

I am also taking better care of my hair as HRT seems to be kicking in on it again (or winter!) I have found different ways to brush it out without causing more split ends and making it thicker.

One way or another, as I always say, confidence in who you are is a key component in achieving a successful feminine lifestyle. Transgender or cross dresser.

Another Look at the Veterans Adminstration

This time from another "Hart"-Michelle:

I will be seeing my therapist next week and will have more questions for her. I just recently attended a lecture, given to student therapists by members of the LGBT counselors from the VA (I am an unofficial member of the group).

One of the things I learned at the lecture is that the VA is now placing not only a trans status in one's medical records, as well as any desires for future SRS. It was also mentioned that sexual preferences is also being included in the records. I now have many questions for my therapist since I was under the understanding that physiological records are kept separate from medical records unless medications are required. Because of my unofficial status, I thought I have been able to stay somewhat under the radar but this information has caused some concern."

Thanks Michelle, while nothing would surprise me, I have never been asked anything about my sexual preferences, or SRS. Then again, I have not been afforded the access you have! Way to go!!!

Cyrsti's Condo Monday Edition

Brrr! Welcome to another chilly special Monday edition. It's cold and windy here in Southwestern Ohio but at least we don't have all the snow not so far up North. Let's grab a hot cup o joe and get started.
Page One: The Week that Was-or Wasn't: The big event this week of course was the Transgender Day of Rembrance commemorating the untimely deaths of transgender women and trans men this year alone. As a commitee member, I was proud to see a very good turn out regardless of recent security fears. Speakers were transgender women of color representing the fact the vast majority of deaths were among women of color. Trans health care issues and homelessness were also discussed. More importantly, certain area groups in Greater Cincinnati who are working to help presented tables of information.

Page Two: Yesterdays Coffee-Opinion: Privilege was another topic of interest yesterday. Depending on how you view privilege, it's a very difficult topic to discuss. Very simply put, to some, being white presents privilege and it does. But on a deeper level, the amount of bullying ones goes through is privilege, and it goes on and on. In an indirect way, Connie approached the question in several of her blog comments. Here is her latest:

"I sometimes wonder if I am being selfish, as if it should be my duty to actively reach out to other transgender people, as well as the general population. The fact is, however, that by living my life completely as a person who is confident in herself, I am presenting myself in a positive light to all people. Whether it be my religious beliefs, my professional life, or my family life, I have always tried to lead by example (a good one, I hope). Why, then, should my trans status be any different? I had spent so many years hiding myself, always with the wish that I would be able some day to live as a woman, I deserve to finally enjoy that fruition. The thousands of hours I had spent removed from life was actually so much more selfish of me."

To be clear I have taken some of this comment out of context and I have always tried to be clear it's nobody's duty to do anything and I think this is a quality comment. (Read the rest following a former Transgender Awareness Week post.) It's just that my beliefs dictate I happen to possess just enough privilege to help another trans person and I can. 

Page Three: Making Up: Yesterday was also an interesting look into the different worlds of cross dressers and transgender women. The cross dressers for the most part wore sky high heels and perfect makeup (albeit) a little heavy. I have been fortunate in that I have hit a groove in the makeup department. A touch of foundation, eye makeup and mascara something like this from Connie: "I approach my makeup regimen with the thought of accentuating my assets first. 

Not to say that there are not many flaws in need of attention, but I learned long ago that taking extreme measures to cover them up only brings more attention to them. It is much better to draw attention to my assets (though few they may be), and the flaws are therefore less noticeable. 

Learning to simply "draw" attention rather than "draw on" attention is the tricky part. In my case, as it probably is for most of us, it is the eye makeup that does the trick. I've learned that it actually takes much more time and effort to use it sparingly than to go for a dramatic and overdone look. For me, the results are more satisfactory, and I feel like the attention is toward my eyes, and not the eye makeup itself." 

On the other hand I refer to Stana at Femulate as the true makeup wizardess!

Page Four: The Back Page: Once again it's time to wrap this up and get on with my day!!!

I luv you all and thanks for stopping by the Condo :)

Jessie