Just A Bit More Dangerous

Time it was again to color the gray out of my hair. In the past someone else has been entrusted to do what Momma Nature continues to make a bigger and bigger job. Liz has done it recently. This time though, my hair looked terrible, I had to head back up to my building for three or days and Liz had to work-so it was an emergency now or never for my hair. So, what's a girl to do? Beg of course. The problem was Liz was working, so all the begging in the world wouldn't work.  Her answer "basically" was 'get over it princess' unless you want to do the job yourself.  I did my best Huh? Hell yes I could do it myself!!!! Yay!! What a concept.

Before you think Liz is this ultra brave person though, remember this-she works at home so with a few warning shots from her like "how about reading the directions", off I went.  Actually, the bigger warning was a cheap shot I am still hearing from the first time I went really Ginger (red).  All was well when she put the color on and after 25 minutes, I was dutifully sent into the shower to rinse and condition.  What I didn't realize was my usual frolic in her shower made the walls look like a scene from the movie "Psyco".  As it turned out my faux "bloodletting" for the occasion, was not seen as a potential movie prop-but-a basis for a continual cheap shot. And, you guessed it, those were my famous last words today before my "rinse."

It was all good though. I punched my ticket on another of the mysterious girl tasks it takes to maintain a feminine external lifestyle.Plus, what Liz has not fully realized is, I am again a bit more dangerous. Not only can I pick out my color, I can put it on all by my self.  No more discussions about my choices!  Now I can already hear the first "what the hell did you do?"

Hey, that's an easy answer, "well it's your fault, you made me read the directions!"

It's Brutal

It seems the war against the gender bigots will never end, even when it seems to be increasingly senseless. Currently, states like Kentucky, Florida and Texas are the latest to attempt to pass discrimatory restroom laws against transgender citizens.

The only one of those states I can speak to personally is neighboring Kentucky as well as my hometown of Springfield,Ohio.  I don't hang around my hometown much anymore, but can tell you for a fact, anti LGBT local discrimination laws have been defeated by white and black church coalitions-in concert with conservative GOP leadership which goes all the way to the state legislature in Columbus.

Now, Kentucky.  To a person who only knows the state from coal mining stories and a few reality shows, there is much more than meets the eye. Far away from the "hollers", snake worshipers and moonshiners are the cities across the river from Cincinnati, Louisville, Lexington and other places which realize LGBT diversity is a key to development (and legality)

Which brings me to Alabama and it's Gulf Coast tourist campaign. Every time I see one of the commercials, in the background I hear the relatively chilling declarations of Alabama judges  against same sex marriage. I was transported back to the early days of the civil rights struggle in Alabama and I wondered if it was only me who thought I could spend my money elsewhere? Easy answer, elsewhere.

I also think some of us are too quick to dismiss pockets of bigotry by saying it's Alabama or Utah or wherever by saying the "good old boys" eat their young there.  And I feel sorry for the hard working people in the Alabama tourism business who have never considered what the rest of the bigots cost them.

Then again, maybe they do. After all, my hometown continues to be mired in it's misconception that it's a "good" place to raise a family. Then watch when their kids get the hell out of "Dodge"as quickly as they can, to greener much more diverse pastures such as Columbus. Then again, how would all those small town, small minded preachers and politicians keep their money coming?

Are You Listening??

I just know you have heard generics plead with the world to just listen to them.  I decided to list listening to me as the second biggest surprise of my Mtf transition.  Having said that, I knew women as a whole speak a different gender language and are more apt to be socialized to not be vocally aggressive -but really?  I also remember some of my earliest recollections interacting in the world when I was literally talked around and "over" by men. At the time, I assumed the more comfortable I would become, I could at least hold my own. 

 

These days though, I feel as if I am losing ground in the world, but I don't know if it is all bad.  One problem I know I have is with projecting a feminine voice. When I keep it low and soft, I have less vocal problems-I think. Plus,if you toss men out of the conversation, generics do have a tendency in my world to over talk each other. For the longest time, I did try to jump in, but now I just wait for the conversation to come to me.

I suppose it sounds like a clique, but my HRT years have taken the edge off my macho feelings and laying back I suppose makes me more "mysterious" - rather than a cynical pain in the rear.

Looking back though at the fateful day I started to transition, my expectations of how I would be able to communicate with the world, never felt like this!