Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition"

"Ker Plunk!!!" Another issue of the Condo's "Sunday Edition" has hit your virtual front porch. Curl up in those warm jammies (Pajamas) of yours and lets get started!


Page One: The Week That Was-or Wasn't.  Late in the week, we took a look into the fragile and sometimes tragic circumstances of a relationship working to exist when the binary male needs to live a feminine lifestyle. Many times to be able to live at all.  Here is yet another great comment from Angela Kay : 

Angela KayDecember 13, 2014 at 5:41 PM

"Pat and I have a lot in common. My wife is very supportive of 'Angie' and has raised no objection to my HRT, but she lives in constant fear of the neighbors finding out and ostracizing her. I tell her that they're more likely to feel sorry for her, but she's not prepared to take the risk. This presents real problems as I live over 80% of my time as Angie. My solution is to do my own shopping and socializing in nearby towns where I'm not known; if we go into our own little town, it's always as husband and wife. I've written quite a lot about this in my own blog. It's not an ideal way to live, but it's a reasonable compromise and it seems to work for us.

By the way, I'm an English girl and had no idea what a 'condo' was until I looked it up on Wikipedia. See – I grow a little wiser every day!"

Thanks Angie! -I struggle to get a little wiser every day!  As far as your wife goes and many generics-worrying may just come with the territory.  Speaking only for me, my amount of "worry" has increased substantially on HRT.

Page Two: Cyrsti's Soapbox.  Just as I was preparing myself for an extended rant about the **Veterans Administration messing with my HRT treatment, seemingly, the "ship was righted" (even though I was in the Army-not the Navy).  After approximately nine phone calls and a threat to camp out in their offices, a person actually told me how to solve the problem.  The problem may now well become the solution seemed to be too easy.  Also last week, I was surprised and amused at how a "transitioning" email had made it to one of my in boxes.  Turns out it was coming from the CIA who does recruit American military veterans (for obvious reasons).  Seeing as how years ago I had signed up for a veteran job search site, I got the email too late! I started transitioning years ago.

Page Three: Just What the Hell is a?  Angie's comment about not knowing what a "Condo" was across the pond, again slapped me up the side of the head.  I say again because I'm am old school and forget this not so "new fangled" thing call the internet is world wide. So, sometimes when I write about something, I'm assuming most all of you know what I'm talking about.  The CIA is an example. Most in the world know of the American "Central Intelligence Agency" as I have heard of British M16 Intelligence Agency or "Scotland Yard." But then again, if I don't explain myself, I could be writing about the "Culinary Institute of America." Then again, many of you may wonder what I'm referring to when I mention the Veterans Administration. Basically, this is their mandate:  The US Department of Veterans Affairs provides patient care and federal benefits to veterans and their dependents.  The agency's name is commonly abbreviated to "VA". 
Page 4.- The Back Page: Before we call this a wrap and move on, I would like to thank Andee again for a link she sent in which goes into a speech about the history of the LGBT community from the Office of National Intelligence.  As a group we truly have and will be everywhere! 


Hey! Y'all have a good week and thanks bunches for taking your valuable time to stop by Cyrsti's Condo!

It's OK-But Not With My Man!

I received a couple wonderful comments on my previous Cyrsti's Condo  post which mainly revolved around cross dressers or transgender women who are married to generics. One from Paula Goodwin:

Paula GoodwinDecember 13, 2014 at 5:04 AM

There is so much that I could comment on here, but I think maybe that would be better as a post soon on Paula's Place. I just want to say that I am a Christian and it does not preclude my lifestyle, my wife is also a Christian and thinks that it does. Faith can either reinforce or challenge our ideas depending on how we approach it.

Paula, I am a baptized Methodist, and using Christianity to hate on us is one of my height of hypocrisies...but it is too big and too polarizing to discuss here.

Then: 

MichellewhoisDecember 12, 2014 at 9:27 AM

There are many of us out there that have spouses that are willing to allow us to be who we are as long as we don't out ourselves. I think that for many of those spouses, it may be a bit of selfishness that they don't want others to see that they have a feminine male living with them. I know that many women want to have men that other women look at and see masculinity dropping from them. They don't want anyone to know that they live with someone that society looks at as some kind of pervert. Maybe one day, people in general will finally accept that everyone must live their lives as they see fit and not by someone else's rules.

Yay Michelle!  What would the family and the girlfriends say if "hubby" showed up in dress, hose and heels to the family holiday?  I think many don't give enough credit to the generic ego.  As much as sitting around about dreaming about weddings, rings, dresses etc.-somewhere there has to be a husband involved. 

It takes "two to tango" of course and how many cross dressers and or transgender women along the way hoped marriage would "cure" them?  On the other side, generics are well known "fixers" and so many times don't ever realize there is no "cure" to what ails us. Dare I say, a spouse can be a huge part of the ail. 

Ironically now, the three closest generics in my life don't understand my wife's feelings about my transgender leanings.  Cross dressing was fine, but as soon as HRT was brought in-we were done.  I have told all three of them she was living up to her part of the marriage deal.  Did not want to live with another woman.  Case closed. I mean, really closed when she passed away.

Finally Michelle, I equate your comment about women wanting men with masculinity dropping off of them to society- and the well known generic attraction to the "bad boy."

We can be "bad" just not in the traditional sense!

Pushing the Envelope at Home?

One common theme most of us face or have faced is how we approach our lives as cross dressers or transgender girls with wives who understandingly have a huge stake in our actions.  Here is a portion of a comment from Pat about her life:

While over time my wife has acclimated a bit to me being dressed she still does not want anyone to learn that I am a CD. When we lived in the house we were somewhat isolated. We were down a long driveway on a small road with only a handful of other houses. When I would dress my wife was always running around closing the curtains even though there was no real way passers by if any, would be able to see in.

She went on to say though, they have since moved to a more populated condo.

Surely, spouses have a huge stake in us...if they don't, it's time to put a lawyer's phone number on your phone's speed dial.  Relationship-kaput- done-finis. I wrote nearly a whole chapter on this subject in my "Stiletto's on Thin Ice"  book.  Plus, you Cyrsti's Condo regulars probably get tired of me writing about how my wife accepted my cross dressing before we married.  On the other hand, she never made a secret of how as soon as I began the path to HRT, we would part ways as friends.  She passed away before I started. 

Recently on another site where I was commenting on gender differences, a generic went out of her way to agree with my comments but prefaced it all with she was a Christian and didn't agree with my lifestyle. Believe it or not, I never waded back in.  My point is, if a spouse truly believes her faith precludes loving and accepting all, she will never accept a cross dressing spouse - let alone a transgender one.  

I also know though, what an incredibly selfish gender journey we embark on.  Many times, not understanding all of it ourselves, let alone expect a loved one to embrace it.  Plus, for most of us, the more we experience the girl's sandbox-the more we want.

Personally, I have a whole box of envelopes I have pushed over many edges during my life but my transgender experience was far and away the most powerful.  My wife and I made it 25 years, and if I was her, I would kicked me out after year one.  Which makes her a better person than I.  On the other hand, she made me the woman I am today and Liz brought her out.

This post could go on forever and is as complex as any I could write.  Maybe we could just make it into some sort of Condo game show? Pick this envelope and see what's in it?