Cyrsti's Condo "Quote of the Day"

When you think you are having a bad day...

Attitude Versus Appearance

It's no secret the number of times we have kicked around the idea of "attitude" versus "appearance" here in Cyrsti's Condo.

Your attitude as you begin to explore your femininity in the world in many ways ranks above how you look. My example goes back several years and continues to this day in one of the places I have been stopping at for adult beverages and sports. It's close to a big research air base and normally has it's share of 40 something groups of defense contractor/professional guys.  The bar itself is straight (not gay - no I meant the bar shape!) and seats approx 25.  Tuesday's are the big 2 dolla pint night.  Your choice on any of 30 different drafts-2 dolla, and the place is packed.

I learned years ago the thrill of victory or the agony of defeat of having to walk to the other end of the bar for a seat...through primarily men.  I went from being flat out laughed at at one end of the spectrum to guys just glazed over.  I always wondered what the glazed ones were thinking.  Largely now, I'm ignored except I did have two last night who followed my every move until I found a seat.  Moral to the story is, I learned to always keep my head up, and shoulders back to keep the human sharks in their place. Come hell or high water I just had to let the world know, I wasn't doing anything wrong.

While we are on the subject of attitude. Several posts ago, I re-posted one of my old woman less pageant  pictures of "Spencer".    Spencer was gorgeous to be sure but his attitude was just as amazing to me.

I also think some of these younger woman less  pageant contestants first time in drag was that night and two things happened...one, they were impressed on how well the mtf transformation worked and two.- the joke was on everyone else when they saw him.

Example on left.

The "A-Ha" Moment

One of the most frequent questions I get from "civilians"  is when did I know I was transgender.  Normally, they aren't prepared for the long version of the story, so to spare them the boring details, I go for the short version.

The "short" version is very simple.  I knew vaguely from the age of ten or so, there was something not matching up gender wise in my noggin.  I'm not even sure if the word "gender dysphoria" was even "invented" in the 1950's at all and certainly not in semi rural Ohio. Of course my gender issues caused me to work to present myself as a girl.

Civilians understand all of that.

I begin to lose them when I say cross dressing wasn't the answer.  Since many used to consider I was cross dressed when we talk. To the older civilians, explaining the 1960's and 70's is simple...I had even a bigger problem than gender dysphoria (and the lack of understanding .)- the spectre of the Vietnam War.

Somehow it still shocks people when I say I did serve my time in the US Army, played a little football,  did father a child and paid my dues to make it as a guy for 30 years or so.  Looking back I guess it shocks me too and I'm not sure how I made it.

Where I really lose almost all of the remaining civilians is when I tell them about five years ago, I accepted the fact for the first time in my life I am transgender.  

I tell them, yes, I was in my 60's before I had my "A-Ha" moment.

The good thing is today, the feminizing work of HRT on my body teamed with the seemingly weekly news another public person is coming out as transgender (Andreja Pejic, Lavern Cox, et all)- I'm not the celebrity I once was.

Yes, it's a wonderful feeling!