Ketchup

Yes, I'm using a condiment name for a Cyrsti's Condo blog post and it actually serves a couple purposes!

On a lighter note, I'm "catching up" on a few of your comments from a post which indirectly involved food. Clever, right?

Thanks to all of you who commented on the Trans Girl Guide to Eating Out post.

The first came from Leann:

Crysti, I agree whole-heartedly with 1, 2 and 5. Of late, I have been trying to go to a local (Northeast local) chain called Legal Seafood about once a week. I have at least one waitress who sits down to chat with me. As far as 3 and 4 are concerned, I haven't run into these S&Sers so I haven't run into them in the restroom either. The only conversation I have ever had in a restroom is someone commenting me on my suit. :)

Thanks Leeann!  For those of you who don't know, #4 was my reference to using the women's room. Similar to you, I haven't had any problems for literally years but having the cops called on me twice, being called a perve and getting kicked out of a venue left their marks I'm afraid! Anymore, I don't let the past ruin the present!

The second came from Mandy Sherman:


On #3, Trouble in Paradise... It's not only the 50-somethings. While it's indeed precisely as you say with them, alas, teenagers haven't given up on S&S yet. Last fall during my final 2013 en-femme outing, I was having a solo dinner at an upscale steakhouse restaurant on the Maryland side of Washington, DC. The joint wasn't full by any means. A pair of 18-year-old-plus girls and their dates were seated across the room, with the girls having an unobstructed view of my table. (How do I know they were at least 18? The wine bottle and glasses...) The girls spotted me as I walked in, and as soon as I was seated they informed the boys of my existence. The boys seemed rather ho-hum about it, as a mere glance was all they sent my way. But every few minutes, one of the girls checked me out, whispered something to her friend, who then looked my way. They then giggled, and whispered things to each other, while the boys looked rather annoyed at their dates' actions. The special dinner date (for which they were paying a tidy sum) was being compromised by this "guy in a skirt." 

The foursome got their "special night" back when I left...with no wine, appetizer or dessert, I finished well before they did. But I could feel two pair of young female eyes following me all the way out, once they noticed I was leaving. And you can bet I remained a part of their conversation for the rest of the evening... Sorry, guys - your dates were paying attention to me, not you. Better luck next time... But this is a solemn testament to the fact that teenage female S&S is still very much alive and well in suburban Maryland. 

And with regard to #4 - Rest Room Pass: Since that night, I have used a few select women's rooms, while dressed androgynously. But that particular night, I was in a "holding pattern" - waiting to go back to my hotel room. No way would I have wanted to chance meeting those girls in a restroom situation. Cheers, Mandy

Hi Mandy and thanks!  Sounds as if the narrow minded young women just were looking for diversions to their boring dates and you were in the line of fire.  You bring up several really good points.  Ultimately, stupidity is not limited to one age group and the longer someone has to sit back and look you over, the more chance you become of someone making you their business.  Pretty much that is what happened to me the other night with one of the bitches who about broke her neck to stare and smirk.  (The other didn't give me a second look later.)

Once again ladies, thanks so much for your comments!

Back in The Saddle

This is sort of a test post. For what seemed like years, I was experiencing computer trouble at Liz's and my house too.

Happy to say, I'm back-I think and will be blasting away here in the Condo soon!

A Trans Girl's Guide to Eating Out

My qualifications to write this post go back many years to a 30+ year career in the commercial restaurant business. I have seen trans women in my venues as well (of course) dining in others.

Here you go:

1.- Be nice and talkl.  I'm sure many of you think, Cyrsti, this is common sense.  It is, until I expand on it.  Before I even began to journey out into the world as a woman frequently, the cross dressers/transgender girls who my staff's waited on, drew extra attention to themselves by being too quiet.  I was guilty of it too, during my early ventures.  What happens is, you may be quiet, scared to death and shy-which comes off to the world as you maybe doing something wrong.

2.- Tip well.- Especially, in the current ultra competitive climate, food employees would serve Martians if they minded their own business, were pleasant and tipped well.  As transgender women, we are in an ideal spot to make a great impression because so many people don't make them. An example was,  in the restaurants I ran, the "after church" crowd on Sunday was notoriously difficult to deal with.  Look at it this way, unless you are an extremely passable trans woman, you will be remembered.  Make your impressions good ones and you will be welcome.

3.- Trouble in Paradise.- Just when you are thinking all is well when you are heading out for a nice meal, beware of the predatory 50+ something genetic female.  It used to be we thought teen aged girls were the worst group of humans we could face.  This is the same group all grown up They are still in the same blissful state of transgender ignorance suffered from in their teens and are still our biggest problem. Young girls today either know "one of us", are informed about us, or just don't care.  My latest example of 50 something genetic bigotry was just last Friday night.  As Liz and I were blissfully enjoying our food and company, two women just had to S&S- Stare and Smirk.  Outside of aggravating me, I don't let ignorance ruin my evenings anymore but  women like this can throw more than stupidity at you. Such as:

4.-Rest Room Pass.- It is human nature.  When you eat and drink, you may have to potty and are easy prey for an S&S er out to save the world for morality.  Of course you have a couple alternatives.  Hold it and don't go, just throw your shoulders back and the girls out and head confidently to the restroom or watch where the bigots are heading.

5.- Go Back.- As I said, if you like a place, return and begin to establish yourself as a regular.  As you do, all kinds of good things can happen.  These days, a progressive business embraces diversity which includes the TGLBQ community.  I have never minded being the token transgender person.  If possible, find another person to go with you.  Nothing gives you more credibility.  An example is when Liz and I go out, she is totally oblivious to the possibility I may be facing negative feedback.  Which is fine, I fight my own battles.  Finally, especially with my restaurant background, at all costs I try to respect the owners or management of the venue and be welcomed back.

So there you go kids, I'm sure many of you have welcome hints of your own!  Be sure to pass them along.  Bon Appetite!