Fun and Games at the Docs!

If you have been following along with my HRT saga, I'm going to sneak one in here.

I still weave a path between the Veterans Administration and the private medical world to obtain quality hormonal care. My endo doc's bill is paid by the VA and he prescribes my meds and the VA fills them with my co-pay.

I didn't really expect to go to see him today and was making an appointment for later this month when the receptionist said they had an opening for today. I took it.

After the usual questions concerning my thoughts, the Doc surprised me by saying we need to double the dose of the "Spiro" I'm taking.  Spiro is used to decrease testosterone levels in men and a couple of my transgender friends "in the know" said my dosage seemed to be low. I was elated and said sure! Then he asked how I felt about my breast development. I probably screwed up and told the truth. I am sort of satisfied with my progress so far and we agreed to keep the estrogen dosage I'm taking the same.

So, the good news was he wrote me prescriptions for another six months worth of HRT meds. The not so good news is now I have to get the meds and process re approved with my recently named new VA primary physician. Yes, nothing is easy with this process-I know this.

Best case scenario will be if new VA Doc just signs off on the scripts like my old one did. Worst case is of course he wants to see me and decides to pass me off to someone else. My guess is I will end up somewhere in between the two.

At this point I really want to find the person who thinks this transgender process is a choice and all I'm trying to do is play dress up. Then I could use what is left of my declining "T" and go verbally postal on them!

"Borrowing my Face"

Sunday a friend of mine contacted me and asked if I would be interested in lending my face to a friend of his who recently became a Mary Kay Cosmetic person.

At first I thought "is he trying to tell me something?"  (just kidding) the first thing I thought was "sure why not?" If I ever reach a point with my makeup that I can't improve or look for advice, then I'm doomed to mediocrity...or worse.

When the consultant and I touched base the first phrase she texted was "can I borrow your face?" I said sure for what it's worth and if I can have it back to keep using. It's all I have!

Seriously, I feel I feel as if I'm in a makeup "rut" of sorts and any input is good input.

I'm going tomorrow (Thursday)  so I will let you know how the process goes and if I got my face back!

My "Boy Friend" Jeans

For the first time this morning I actually felt a pair of my old guy jeans navigating over my hips when I put them on!

Nearly  16 months ago, my first prescribing doctor told me with the HRT dosages I was on it would take at least year to see weight distribution in my hip area. I have indeed thought the process was happening but had never felt it until today.
Of course my cynical mind went to work and I thought "well here I am in my own boyfriend jeans and he was me."

On a deeper level of course I'm finally to a point as a transgender woman when my new feminine curves are starting to fill out all of my clothes- male or female the right way.

Of course I still have a long way to go but I decided to step back and look a little closer at my progress.

Here's an example:  I have always told you all I'm not a frilly girl and I sleep in some of my favorite ex large long t shirts.  For once I paused to take a look at the progress I have made- in just the T-shirt and I was scared. The shirt came down to a couple inches on my thighs and of course about three quarters of the way down my arms...A good test.

First of all, I am my own worst critic and nothing is good enough.  I have to say as I tried to be unbiased, the person looking back at me in the mirror looked fairly feminine. I thought Wow,  this HRT project is coming along how the "experts" told me it would.

My hair on my head grew and got fuller as predicted. My breasts have developed close to a small "B" and the hair on my body has nearly disappeared (except my beard of course -dammit). Finally,  my skin grew rapidly smoother from head to toe. Now the weight distribution has been just some more icing on the cake. All I could think was "Wow! this is very cool!". But I better not eat any of the icing!

The "I told you so expert" I referred to was my endocrinologist. On my last visit after my blood tests he said "Well your estrogen is up nicely and your "t" is very low. We should stay the course on the HRT we are doing now and let the estrogen win the battle for your body." None of us should ever forget messing with your body's hormones on HRT is not without risks. So I am happy to have an "expert" in my corner- even though I'm impatient for more changes.

In the meantime my estrogen is winning battles when I wasn't looking and now I'm waiting for her to win the war!