Only Two Things are Certain

In life there are only two certainties, you are born and you die.
A couple weeks ago, just after Thanksgiving I silently and inwardly noted the date of my wife's passing.
A week ago was her birthday.
I write this not out of sorrow or self pity but in the spirit of who she was and what she would want me to do. I have always felt she would have backed my transition completely but we couldn't have stayed married. She knew I was miserable. More importantly, I know somewhere she is behind my effort to help anyone with my story. Up front I'm going to tell you this will be a two part post.

For those of you who have stopped by Cyrsti's Condo for sometime,  perhaps you remember any number of posts I have written about my wife's influence on me-including "You make a Terrible Woman". or "Be a Man enough to Be a Woman". Essentially the first was beating me up for only thinking appearance was important to being the girl I wanted to be. The second was from a rough period we were going through due to my transgender confusion. She made me a better woman from the inside out.

Five years later my grieving is done and of course 25 years of memories will always remain.

The main reason for me bringing all of this up however is some of you will- or already are becoming depressed about the upcoming holiday season. Loneliness certainly does not look good in a red suit and beard or butching it up for your family Christmas parties makes you feel like a liar.
Just remember that life just evolves and what the heck- the Mayans could be right and we all get wiped out on December 21st.  I know it's bleak. Been there friends and have done it.

About now bunches of you are thinking blah, blah blah! Sure you are born and you die and I'm miserable! Got any ideas genius girl?
Well, I do and none of them are miracles and most are achievable.
But not until my next post-you know how I so hate 2 million word epics. Hell, I know I get lost in them, I can only imagine how you feel.

Before we move on, I just want to say please toss out the bravery word with me. I'm just living the life I had to live. Don't need no stinkin awards. Don't deserve them, but:
In order to arrive where I am now,  certain circumstances had to happen in my life. Looking back,  I have been dazzled by destiny and how the most important facets of my life have been set in motion by decisions I made years ago.
However I really don't believe so much in luck and I will tell you why in the next post and why I feel so fortunate going into this holiday season.

The Common Trans Folk

I'm as guilty as the next person of getting caught up in the glamour and glitz of all the knock down gorgeous transgender and transsexual women.

"Picture from a meeting in East Aurora, Ill concerning establishing new  gender standards"

On occasion I do look past all the bright lights and beauty to the trans folks in the trenches-women and men. The ones that say "hey! to hell with it I'm going to live life as I see fit." I lump myself largely into that category because most of the time I marginally present totally as a woman.  On the other hand, I present totally well as a person...
As do just two of the many trans women I have chosen pictures of to emphasize my point. To the left is "Dessert Storm Vet" Gabrielle Ludwig who is now playing college basketball at the age of 50. Certainly their stories are viewed with some sensationalism by some of the public but more importantly all of those we encounter as transgender humans make the effort worth while!

What is a Drag Queen?

Ironically, the more I'm able to make my way in the world as a transgender woman the more I become re interested in how closely related drag queens are to us.
Of course they aren't and drag peeps such as Rude Paul make me sick but every once in a while I run into an interesting video which gives extra insight into the world of drag queens.
Be patient with this one. The first part of it provides an interesting look at a few classic female impersonators and then settles into the present: