Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Revisiting Danielle Berry

Following my post called "Another Transgendered Pioneer" I received two very compelling comments from Anne here on the blog.

"Some food for thought...

by Danielle Berry
[1949-1998]

[Compiled from a number of emails I sent in response to requests for input from those considering their own change.]

"Don't do it! That's my advice. This is the most awful, most expensive, most painful, most disruptive thing you could ever do. Don't do it unless there is no other alternative. You may think your life is tough but unless it's a choice between suicide and a sex-change it will only get worse. And the costs keep coming. You lose control over most aspects of your life, become a second class citizen and all so you can wear women's clothes and feel cuter than you do now. Don't do it is all I've got to say.


http://anna-es-asi.blogspot.com/2011/05/high-price-of-tg-borg-hive-think.html


More fro the late Ms. Berry.....

"That's advice I wish someone had given me. I had the sex change, I "pass" fine, my career is good but you can't imagine the number of times I've wished I could go back and see if there was another way. Despite following the rules and being as honest as I could with the medical folks at each stage, nobody stopped me and said "Are you honest to God absolutely sure this is the ONLY path for you?!" To the contrary, the voices were all cheerfully supportive of my decision. I was fortunate that the web didn't exist then - there are too damn many cheerleaders ready to reassure themselves of their own decision by parading their "successful" surgeries and encouraging others."

"I can speak the transgender party line that I was a female trapped in a male body and I remember feeling this way since I was 4. But, it's never that easy if you look at it sincerely and without preconception. There's little question that a mid-life crisis, a divorce and a cancer scare were involved in at least the timing of my sex-change decision. To be completely honest at this point (3 yrs post-op) is not easy, however, I'm not sure I would do it again. I'm now concerned that much of what I took as a gender dysfunction might have been nothing more than a neurotic sexual obsession. I was a cross-dresser for all of my sexual life and had always fantasized going fem as an ultimate turn-on. Ironically, when I began hormone treatment my libido went away. However, I mistook that relief from sexual obsession for validation of my gender change. Then in the final bit of irony, after surgery my new genitals were non-orgasmic (like 80% of my TG sisters)."

First of all I would like to thank Anne for wonderful insight into a situation so many of us sacrifice our lives and families to accomplish
At the risk of becoming too controversial again I have a couple thoughts on Anne's.
Are there more than just a few "fully operational" transsexual women who wished they had not gone all the way? Have I just been unlucky in the number of really bitter trans women I have known? (NOT Anne!) Are they bitter because they wish they had not went through the change?
I was lucky. In my formative transgendered years. I knew a person who I felt was a very unhappy individual after "going the distance".
From her I learned to be careful what you wish for. I also learned try to be very introspective into my transgender status.
NONE of that makes me a better person. For some reason, my gender identity problems were always centered mentally and not so much genitally. So I don't have a pedestal to climb up on.
At any rate I can't thank Anne enough for adding her very valuable comments.
Every time I think we have covered nearly all of the many facets of our transgendered world-we uncover another!

Two More Transgender Videos

Due to popular request, I have one more video to Cyrsti's Condo "Home Entertainment Room" and one to "Trannsnation.com.".
The one here shows a more natural "Andrej Pejic" and the beauty that he is. The one on Trannsnation shows a truly phenomenal transition!

Dating the girl in the mirror?

I started this post literally a year or so ago and discovered it when I was searching the blog for "Trannsnation.com" pieces to transfer. Here is how it started:
Who is your "girl in the mirror"?
Do you want to date her, bring her home to mom or be her?
Good question! I do believe I have written about our Mom's influences on who we have become or are trying to become.
I have said a number of times, my Mom was a good provider and had definite ideas on raising me and shaping my life-but was emotionally distant.
In addition, she was very skilled at trying to intimidate and run off the very few girlfriends I would bring home.
Probably the one I identify with the most now was the one college woman I was friends with for a period of time. (As with most of you, you have to understand my relationships were less than the male norm.)
She was a very outgoing curvy young woman with all this wonderful auburn curly hair. Needless to say, not my Mom's ideal!
So I guess I would have never truly been able to bring my girl self home to my Mom.
I have written a number of times about the blunt rejection I received when I tried one time only. The subject simply disappeared, never to resurface again.
A current meeting would be interesting in that I resemble her and may even inherit some of her body attributes such as breast size.
Would she ever embrace me at all? No, I doubt it. We are similar. Both are not going to change directions. For what ever reasons she couldn't change as much as I couldn't. In reality, did it make her any less of a person?
I often wonder how my life would have changed if she would have at all? If just a portion of the information was available to both of us in the 50's and early 60's, where were we have ended up?
Of course I "googled" the answer and got "no results".
Does it really matter? No. Do I think about it? Sure. In fact, I think about it every time I read about a young transgendered person who is attempting to follow their true gender preference.
The courage to go public with the process and not go "stealth" and help no one is astounding to me!
Deep down, I believe my Mom would have reacted different today.
On the other hand, I can't believe she would have ever accepted my version of my latest girlfriend anymore than the others!

Just Being You

  Paula from the UK. In response to yesterday's post "In the Passing Lane". Paula wrote in and commented: " I have often ...