Friday, December 3, 2010
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
What's Next?
It's quiet time. A very long stressful day at work is over. As I sit here in front of this keyboard, I wonder what the future holds.
Is a bi-gender life feasible? I certainly would not go back to a full time male lifestyle but it is certainly possible I could go the other direction in the future. Truly not much stands in the way except the present.
I've never been one to sit still and accept the status quo. A "boat rocker" could be on my tombstone.
My latest toys "Hot or Not" and a "Big Beautiful Women" dating site have been good for recreational relief. I'm up to an unbelievable "8.8" out of ten on the "hot" site and at least 30 flirts on the other in a week.
All fun and games...with lot of empty calories! When you eat that "value meal" at your fast food joint, you are hungry again in an hour. Understandable because you ate nothing of substance.
That's exactly where I am. Sure I have my circle of friends I love dearly and it would be very interesting to see what they really thought of my direction. Several couldn't comment because they know nothing of my male side. A couple others don't know the real story anyhow and probably don't care.
It doesn't matter because I know however the only person capable of making decisions in my life of this magnitude is me.
In the meantime, I worry if my innate boredom and the desire to go ever forward will push me to hormones and the like.
A decision made from that point just can't be a good one. There just has to be more!
Is a bi-gender life feasible? I certainly would not go back to a full time male lifestyle but it is certainly possible I could go the other direction in the future. Truly not much stands in the way except the present.
I've never been one to sit still and accept the status quo. A "boat rocker" could be on my tombstone.
My latest toys "Hot or Not" and a "Big Beautiful Women" dating site have been good for recreational relief. I'm up to an unbelievable "8.8" out of ten on the "hot" site and at least 30 flirts on the other in a week.
All fun and games...with lot of empty calories! When you eat that "value meal" at your fast food joint, you are hungry again in an hour. Understandable because you ate nothing of substance.
That's exactly where I am. Sure I have my circle of friends I love dearly and it would be very interesting to see what they really thought of my direction. Several couldn't comment because they know nothing of my male side. A couple others don't know the real story anyhow and probably don't care.
It doesn't matter because I know however the only person capable of making decisions in my life of this magnitude is me.
In the meantime, I worry if my innate boredom and the desire to go ever forward will push me to hormones and the like.
A decision made from that point just can't be a good one. There just has to be more!
She Didn't Go There!
Yes she did!
I was sitting in a very crowded pub, quite satisfied to watch sports and drink some beer.
I had arrived quite some time earlier and even made a couple restroom trips without so much as a side glance.
Midway through the evening a group of five moved into the bar area where I was sitting. At least a half hour later the woman sitting next to me turned and said "Are you male?"
My mind clicked off many answers and finally decided on the truth. "Partially" I told her. She went on to ask did I have short hair when I was a guy or were the red curls all mine? She said she really wished she could get her her to look like mine. I told her that actually if I let my hair grow out, it is very thick and wavy. It would not be a stretch to think my hair could be colored and styled to look like this.
It was her birthday night and she quickly grew tired of my novelty and my evening was coming to an end.
The only problem I really had was getting read for male. I'm not naive enough to know that it won't happen.
If "girls" on hormones and surgery get busted, certainly it will happen to me.
Then I considered , is this whole problem just a throw back to my male ego? Is it similar to making the last out in a big baseball game or getting pushed back into a hole in the line in football? OMG I hope not!
As luck would have it, about the time I was having all these deep thoughts I took a look at "Janie's" Blog.
I think she is a gorgeous woman and in her last post she talks about all the curiosity she encountered on one of her shopping trips. I knew how she was going to approach the same situation I was in because she has written about it before. Essentially she likes being the "special person" she is and if people aren't hurtful or mean-go ahead and ask or look. It's OK!
So once again she got me back on track accepting the exotic critter I am.
The guy side of me will always remember the agony of sports defeats but my girl side will always cherish moments too.
How much fun will it be when I get to the point of answering questions about my gender with well thought of and concise answers?
Somehow I always get taken by surprise.Perhaps the best answer is "male by convenience, female by desire?"
I was sitting in a very crowded pub, quite satisfied to watch sports and drink some beer.
I had arrived quite some time earlier and even made a couple restroom trips without so much as a side glance.
Midway through the evening a group of five moved into the bar area where I was sitting. At least a half hour later the woman sitting next to me turned and said "Are you male?"
My mind clicked off many answers and finally decided on the truth. "Partially" I told her. She went on to ask did I have short hair when I was a guy or were the red curls all mine? She said she really wished she could get her her to look like mine. I told her that actually if I let my hair grow out, it is very thick and wavy. It would not be a stretch to think my hair could be colored and styled to look like this.
It was her birthday night and she quickly grew tired of my novelty and my evening was coming to an end.
The only problem I really had was getting read for male. I'm not naive enough to know that it won't happen.
If "girls" on hormones and surgery get busted, certainly it will happen to me.
Then I considered , is this whole problem just a throw back to my male ego? Is it similar to making the last out in a big baseball game or getting pushed back into a hole in the line in football? OMG I hope not!
As luck would have it, about the time I was having all these deep thoughts I took a look at "Janie's" Blog.
I think she is a gorgeous woman and in her last post she talks about all the curiosity she encountered on one of her shopping trips. I knew how she was going to approach the same situation I was in because she has written about it before. Essentially she likes being the "special person" she is and if people aren't hurtful or mean-go ahead and ask or look. It's OK!
So once again she got me back on track accepting the exotic critter I am.
The guy side of me will always remember the agony of sports defeats but my girl side will always cherish moments too.
How much fun will it be when I get to the point of answering questions about my gender with well thought of and concise answers?
Somehow I always get taken by surprise.Perhaps the best answer is "male by convenience, female by desire?"
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