After reading a couple other transgender related posts and talking indirectly to a novice cross dresser who is near my age and is able to finally get out into the feminine world as her old/new self, I came up with the gender being an egg theory.
Let me explain a bit.
Not unlike a baby chick trying to break out of the egg, a transgender person is trying to do the same thing when it comes to expressing our gender. Along the way, we have differing levels of success achieving opening our egg and bursting into a brave new world. Everyone is so different, yet so the same. Depending upon the amount of testosterone poisoning we had to endure, Mtf transitioning can be a daunting task. One of the things I had to tell the person I was chatting with last night was try to dress accordingly to where you are going and don't compare yourself to all the other beautiful models and/or trans girls you see on line. But do read up on all the ways you can approve your appearance. And, above all, don't try to dress as a sexy twenty something when you are a half a decade older. However, that does not mean you should dress like your granny.
In other words, try to enjoy yourself and do the best you can until you are able to be more experienced as a novice cross dresser and/or transgender person.
I wonder these days too, if the term cross dresser is on it's way out seemingly like the word transvestite did years ago. I suppose it is because recently, the people I have encountered just coming out of their gender shells (or eggs) are identifying themselves as transgender. Of course, the whole subject just makes an already difficult idea even more confusing.
Looking back at my gender/egg experience, I know I made every terrible mistake in the cross dressing handbook before I settled in to a semblance of finding my way in a feminine world. I can't take any credit for that either because of all the friends who took me in.
As with any other human life, coming out of your egg is never easy. It's just for transgender women or men, we get a chance to do it twice.
All too often, after breaking out of a misplaced egg, one can see her/him-self as an ugly duckling. It takes more effort to learn how to be different from others, yet still fit in. After all, as difficult as it may be to break out of the egg, leaving the nest can be more daunting - especially when others see you as not conforming. Learning that you are destined to become a beautiful swan among ducks comes with the confidence that you can still swim in the same pond - even if you can't quite quack like a duck.ReplyDelete
I'm sure there are still those who would define themselves as cross dressers. Increasingly, though, there are those who are referring to themselves as bi-gender. That is, when they present as female they feel to be female beyond what the clothing may indicate; but they enjoy living as their male-assigned gender the rest of the time. I tried that for many years until I admitted to myself that I did not enjoy living a male existence (despite the privilege that went with it). I realize that this does not make me "transer" than anyone else, and I can only allow each individual to self-identify, just as I expect them to allow me to do so. I was once told that I couldn't transition properly because I have to wear a wig to cover my male-pattern bald head, and can't undergo HRT or surgeries due to a medical condition. The exact wording this person used was, "You'll never be any more than a professional cross dresser." Thank goodness I know that only I can crack my own egg, and nobody else will shatter it. To that person, I can only say, "The yolk's on you!" :-)
I think we all made some howlers, but then I was making my teenage mistakes in my 50s when they're harder to hide.ReplyDelete
If the term "cross dresser" goes the same way as Transvestite, how will I be able to update my joke ~ "What's the difference between a cross dresser and a transsexual? ~ About five years"