So You Want to be a Girl?

A friend of mine (genetic female) gave me an idea for a couple posts which are fun to look back on but were not so funny at the time.
Every once in  a while I will chat with a novice trans person who is fairly sure that beautiful feminine creature staring back at her from her mirror at home is enough to establish her life in the world.
Of course "back in the day" I felt much the same way. To make matters worse, I felt the female gender had it so much easier. Back in those days, girls didn't get drafted, just had to wait for guys to ask them out-blah, blah blah.
Along the way, I found those thoughts were as much fiction as a "Stephen King" novel.
A couple of the more amusing incidents involved uniquely feminine experiences with toilet paper and high heels.
The high heel one is very common to any woman who has worn heels for any length of time.  Except I had to do it different.  My copy of the book "High Heels for Dummy's" told me about being careful for the occasional sidewalk grate and the occasional chip in the concrete. What I didn't see in the fine print was the warning about the extreme danger presented by those nasty little concrete grooves in a busy mall. 
Yes, there I was attempting to be elegantly,nonchalantly beautiful in my heels and hose; cheerfully minding my own business until-BAM! One of my shoes got firmly stuck in a crack so small only my heel could find it and the gorgeous creature (in my mind) came to a screeching halt. Not only did she come to a stop, so did the line of people walking behind her.
By this time my priorites had changed from shopping to damage control. Of course I had to pry the shoe from the crack while the world watched and then try to slide it back on without falling over!
Long story short, life went on and I learned very dramatically heel lesson #12 on page 40.
Oh, by the way I'm sure you know I was making up the book but the story is true. Just like the toilet paper story in the next post.