"Yes I'm a transgendered male who wants to be a woman. The
idea is as natural to me as it is foreign to you. You see I was born
male but live female most of the time. I can't even begin to consider
what a life in one gender would be like. I am transgendered.
I used to envy the majority of human beings who were born exclusively into one gender. A boy always knew he was a boy and a girl always knew she was a girl..Right? How easy that must be! No gender struggles with society, peer groups, family and friends.
How does it feel to always feel secure in public as a man or a woman, never having to worry about being exposed?
Think of the money and extra time I would have saved if I had never felt the need to not be what I was born to be
What deep obsession led me down a path most of you will never understand? If I could tell you in a thousand words or less, I would have a chance at some obscure "Nobel" prize. The only fact I can tell you is I feel the need to cross into my non birth gender as much as you feel the need not to. Does it make any sense I don't understand you as much as you don't understand me?
I do understand both of us will probably never understand why and that is perfectly fine. The problem is when you don't understand and try to hurt me. Hurt can be applied in many forms. The worst of course is physical. At times, a beating is the easy way out and death is the harshest punishment administered. Just for a lack of understanding.
Hurt can also come in small yet effective doses. I've grown used to the stares and side glances. The hurt never goes away when I hear the nasty little comments or hear the giggles. All of that too I've learned to live with, it's part of the territory and try as I might I try to not think of your imperfections such as weight or appearance.
Think of my dilemma this way. When you developed your gender identity, it was difficult enough to find your way. Your path was lit however. At the least you knew you were a boy or girl. You had role models and maybe even mentors who helped show you the way to becoming a man or a woman. You weren't on the outside looking in.
Understand I'm not looking for your sympathy. For what reason I was put on my path as sure as you were put on yours. I'm only seeking standard human acceptance. I'm no better or worse than you. In fact I'm the same.
The only benefit I may have is a better understanding of you. The pain and suffering of crossing the gender border has not left me unscathed. I have learned the hard way bits and pieces of what makes both genders operate. Ironically that very understanding makes some of you afraid of me. Somehow you feel I have no right to be in your world even though I'm not. Just crossing public paths shopping, eating or whatever does not put me in your world and I have no super sneaky bad intentions! I am not using my knowledge of both genders to fool you or hurt you in any way. In fact the opposite is true! I crave your acceptance of my true gender.
So, I wanted to be a girl and finally came to accept my transgender status as sure as you accepted yours.
Now I have to accept the fact most of us will never understand each other's gender journey and that's fine. Surely in this great big world we can find room for one another. You do have the edge however. When you see me for who I am, my life finally becomes complete."
I used to envy the majority of human beings who were born exclusively into one gender. A boy always knew he was a boy and a girl always knew she was a girl..Right? How easy that must be! No gender struggles with society, peer groups, family and friends.
How does it feel to always feel secure in public as a man or a woman, never having to worry about being exposed?
Think of the money and extra time I would have saved if I had never felt the need to not be what I was born to be
What deep obsession led me down a path most of you will never understand? If I could tell you in a thousand words or less, I would have a chance at some obscure "Nobel" prize. The only fact I can tell you is I feel the need to cross into my non birth gender as much as you feel the need not to. Does it make any sense I don't understand you as much as you don't understand me?
I do understand both of us will probably never understand why and that is perfectly fine. The problem is when you don't understand and try to hurt me. Hurt can be applied in many forms. The worst of course is physical. At times, a beating is the easy way out and death is the harshest punishment administered. Just for a lack of understanding.
Hurt can also come in small yet effective doses. I've grown used to the stares and side glances. The hurt never goes away when I hear the nasty little comments or hear the giggles. All of that too I've learned to live with, it's part of the territory and try as I might I try to not think of your imperfections such as weight or appearance.
Think of my dilemma this way. When you developed your gender identity, it was difficult enough to find your way. Your path was lit however. At the least you knew you were a boy or girl. You had role models and maybe even mentors who helped show you the way to becoming a man or a woman. You weren't on the outside looking in.
Understand I'm not looking for your sympathy. For what reason I was put on my path as sure as you were put on yours. I'm only seeking standard human acceptance. I'm no better or worse than you. In fact I'm the same.
The only benefit I may have is a better understanding of you. The pain and suffering of crossing the gender border has not left me unscathed. I have learned the hard way bits and pieces of what makes both genders operate. Ironically that very understanding makes some of you afraid of me. Somehow you feel I have no right to be in your world even though I'm not. Just crossing public paths shopping, eating or whatever does not put me in your world and I have no super sneaky bad intentions! I am not using my knowledge of both genders to fool you or hurt you in any way. In fact the opposite is true! I crave your acceptance of my true gender.
So, I wanted to be a girl and finally came to accept my transgender status as sure as you accepted yours.
Now I have to accept the fact most of us will never understand each other's gender journey and that's fine. Surely in this great big world we can find room for one another. You do have the edge however. When you see me for who I am, my life finally becomes complete."
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