Saturday night I experienced an epiphany of sorts.
You have probably seen or read some of the recent "flim flam" rhetoric tossed about concerning transsexual and transgendered folks. How insane the rhetoric is became clearer again this weekend.
My "epiphany" on the subject didn't really involve either the transgender or transsexual camp but was more directed to drag queens on one end of the spectrum and cis-women on the other.
I have written a number of times of how I really don't frequent gay venues...except for an occasional drag show.
The exception was Saturday when a female friend and I went to a bar and show.
The experience was her first and she was fascinated about how good the performers looked. She even thought some looked better than her. I told her she was right "the best looking women in the room were men!" Some were better looking than all of us put together!
I have felt for years I had very little in common with my "drag queen" sisters. However, as I sat between a "real" female and a few wonderful copies, the realization of how similar and different I am started to set in.
I dislike dealing in assumptions but I assume most queens are gay and I don't identify gay. I assume most of the real women I know have a different outlook on the world as me.
Strangely the more I felt apart from the two sides, I began to feel a kinship.
We really are all sisters of the cloth. Women, transgendered or gay queen...we all feel a certain amount of discrimination from society. We all feel a deeper emotional attachment about how we appear to society. Some would argue we all are the emotional beings in our society.
As we sat and watched one of the black performers in a beautiful flowing gown and a stunning matching hat; we thought of how the performer must have felt growing up around older black women and their hats. We took it a step further and spoke of the influence both of us obviously felt from the women around us as we were growing up. The more we are different, the more we are the same it seems.
Like it or not, more and more of us are proudly or tentatively out in the world. As I walked though the restaurant with my friend before the show, sure we got some looks. Hers were complimentary (she more gorgeous than she knows) and mine more quizzical. (I will have another post on a real educational weekend experience!)
I have accepted the fact I am an educator. A"Chaz Bono" on a tiny scale. The performers that night were educators too. I'm sure my friend wasn't the only "first timer" in the room watching men becoming women.
Life is truly a circle. From the queens entertaining as beautiful females to the female beside me entranced with the whole experience, I was firmly in the middle. I did feel a real attraction to both. More attraction than I feel to the "dueling" transgender camps. I know it is human nature to quarrel and nit pick over the smallest things.
When mere labels and the such occupy so much of our time it is time to step back and look at ourselves as a group.
Who cares if "Virgina Prince" did coin the transgender term first? REALLY?
If we all go down that road aren't we losing the essence of a nurturing accepting true woman?
Maybe we all need to spend a night out together.
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