Scratching the Surface

Under the facade I carry around with me daily, comes the worry someone, someday will "bust my bubble" and ruin it all.

Probably though, what is more likely to happen is someone will want to question me about being transgender. Although, it hasn't happened for years. I suppose my insecurities go back to all the days when I was cross dressing and the comments I received. Most because I deserved it for some ill conceived outfit the mirror told me was lovely.

Along the way, as I acquired my own sense of being and style, I did settle into a basic confidence which allowed me to navigate the feminine world.

I really wonder what would happen some time if I do run into a smart arse comment. I wonder if I could be as quick as Connie's retort (in the last Cyrsti's Condo post...Take That Bitches).

And, I'm not the only one. Check out this comment from Tanit:

Tanit RichardsFebruary 1, 2018 at 9:37 PM

"All I can say about this jaw-dropping story is that I would DIE if those idiots did that to me. I would never associate with them in ANY way, shape or form after that since I am not a person that could ever get over a "prank" of this caliber. OMG - the thoughtlessness of it! Good on you for taking it like a "man" though, I couldn't... Hugs,

Tanit"

Thanks for the comment Tanit. I have been known to be more than a bit cynical during my life but I would hope (from the amont of time I have known her) Connie and I are mainly on the same page...no pun intended. I wouldn't want to instigate a verbal sparring with her.

Or more precisely, it wouldn't happen because we are on the same level of transition. I don't mean that negatively. As all of you probably know, as you go through life, trans or not, there are different things that bother you. Take my hair for example. I know my long hair is very age inappropriate for a woman of my age. But I know I have waited all my life to grow it and I was fortunate it did to the extent which has happened. Plus, I feel in the absence of a real high quality wig, growing out my own hair was the one biggest step for me personally being able to negotiate the feminine world. 

In the meantime, we all have our transgender crutches to carry around, and sometimes they get quite heavy. 

Take That!...Bitches!

From Connie, concerning rest room usage and a fun story:

"FABULOUSCONNIEDEEJanuary 30, 2018 at 1:16 PM

The transgender/cross dresser group here in Seattle has bylaws that must be agreed to in order to join. The largest section of those bylaws is dedicated to proper ladies room behavior. I can only imagine this to be so because of specific incidents that had occurred over time. The fact that these rules are so specific in regard to "no brainer" behaviors has always been disturbing to me. I also imagine that alcohol was a factor in many of these incidents, but that certainly does not excuse them. Bylaws often don't mean a thing to one who is pumped up with alcohol, however.

The first time I went out with this group (about ten years ago) was also the first time I'd ever gone into any public establishment. My reluctance to use the ladies room for the first time had me reluctant to use it along with anyone else, as well (including, if not especially, anyone in the group I was with). While I was sitting safely in the stall, one of the members bought off a female server to walk into the ladies room and yell out, "Hey, there's a man in the ladies room!" I recognized it immediately as a prank, and I re-entered the main room with my head held high and walked confidently back to the table. Of course, the group was laughing and applauding, but I did not let it phase me. As I took my seat, I said, "I knew that there were no men in the ladies room because none of you were with me there."

Bullying can come from even the most unexpected people. I wrote this off as a sophomoric initiation prank to a "sorority" that I quickly learned I did not want to belong. Not only did I not want to belong, I simply did not belong at all. If nothing else, that experience confirmed what I had begun to understand about myself - that I was not merely a man in a dress.

I could have qualified that last statement with "not that there is anything wrong with that." Sometimes there is something wrong with that, however. Bad behavior has nothing to do with gender identity in any form."

I too really don't like the "team potty" effort, unless it is with Liz in a situation which I consider to be "iffy"! Otherwise I will "do it" on my own. Thanks for the comment.

A Transgender Actress Returns

From TV Guide: (no, not transvestite!)

"Grey's Anatomy may be an old show, but it's still on the cutting edge for telling trans stories on primetime network TV.

ABC's medical drama is bringing on Transparent actress Candis Cayne for a multi-episode arc as a patient who comes to Grey Sloan for a "groundbreaking" vaginoplasty surgery, according to The Hollywood Reporter. The storyline is based on a true story about a trans woman named Hayley Anthony who helped Jess Ting, the director of surgery at the Center for Transgender Medicine and Surgery at Mount Sinai, design a new vaginoplasty procedure.

Candis Cayne

In 2007, Cayne became the first trans actress to play a recurring trans character in primetime on ABC's Dirty Sexy Money. She's also appeared on The Magicians and Nip/Tuck.

Grey's Anatomy has been working to improve trans representation on TV in Season 14. This season has a new character, intern Dr. Casey Parker (Alex Blue Davis), who debuted in October and recently came out as a transgender man. The show has received praise for how Casey's gender identity is not treated as the most important part of his character and how many of his storylines have nothing to do with being trans."