Another of my "trifecta" of hormonal results involves tears and the trans girl.
Of course men crying is rejected as weakness- except in times of extreme duress and that was me.
Now I discover I feel deeper senses of joy or melancholy but certainly haven't bought into the fallacy that women are the weaker gender. Ironically, crying still isn't a sign of weakness. It's a sign of feeling. Memories, friends and world are suddenly closer to my emotions.
I still can't say I'm reduced to huge bouts of sobbing but then again I know several genetic women who aren't either. I can say though I
have cried more in the last eight or ten months than the last last 50 years.
As in so many things in this transition process, I didn't set off to do a scientific experiment or to add relevance to my feminine inner self. It just happened.
Taking all of this a step further, I recently received an email from a person considering beginning HRT at the age of 60. The worry was the effects would be lessened at an older age. At the age of 63, I believe my hormonal effects have been nothing short of wonderful. Especially considering the minimal dosages I have been on for 6 of 11 months. The deepened senses of joy and melancholy are emotions I would have missed if I
didn't start the hormones,
Of course in my decidedly
non medical opinion, age brings on a natural HRT anyhow. Certainly I have less testosterone in my body now that when I was 25. Another post for another day!
I'm sure those of you who stop by
Cyrsti's Condo who have experienced much more transition than I may agree much of the process sort of sneaks up on you. You hope the changes are coming and sometimes they may involve a few tears. But as an genetic woman will tell you tears are just another part of the gender and not necessarily a disaster.
"Leave your schedule open because spontaneous opportunities are coming and the universe is going to be saving the best for last. Uh huh, just like that Vanessa Williams’ song says, “Sometimes its all a big surprise...” Stop trying to control your world, because this week will show you have none -- but that’s okay, because all will work out just fine."
