This is a Cyrsti's Condo post from 2012.when I detailed telling a close friend I was transgender:
"Due to need, the Labor Day week in my life (a couple weeks ago) was an extreme reversion to my male self. Of course it was tough mentally and physically.
I also know even mentioning such heresy would lead me to extreme degradation at the hands of the trans nazi's and rad fem's just to name a few.
Were they right? Was I really a gender impostor because I waited so long to transition?
No. I am who I am. As all of you know (in a similar situation) there is and has been considerable soul searching in my life to arrive at this point.
The whole experience proved to me the extreme gender fluidity of my existence.
I don't believe I mentioned last week I also came out to the oldest closest friend still left in my life. She was visiting for the weekend and working with me again.
Unfortunately, timing was at it's best and worst to do it and had to be very confusing to her. Here I was telling her I was taking female hormones and wanted to spend the rest of my life as a woman-in the midst of one of the most masculine throw back weeks of the previous year. I was not a cross dresser, I was transgender and did she know what that meant?
Her reaction was she kind of knew but didn't totally believe it because I was one of the most masculine men she had ever known. She also didn't know how she would react in the future to the new me. Fair enough. Can't ask for anything more. I should mention she lives quite a distance from me now and here I was in my most male mode telling her all of this?
My initial reaction was, why would she even believe it?
So, you are thinking where is the best of this?
The best was telling her to say goodbye. The new me wouldn't be able to handle the heat and the physical part of out project like I used to and this was only the beginning. It was very easy for me at that point to tell her I hoped we would remain the close friends we had always been but the changes were coming. There was nothing she could do about it and I was extremely happy about the process.
Conversation over.
She is four hours away and I am refilling my feminine gender fluids. She is off my "coming out" bucket list and we are still on speaking terms.
Bottom line is I am sooooo happy all of that is over!"
Thursday, November 30, 2017
Chilled
I wish I could write another sweetness and light post here in Cyrsti's Condo, today I can't.
Unfortunately, this morning I caught child molester Roy Moore's act on the national news. I was literally chilled to the bone as this guy proceeds to blame the LGBT community for all the ills of society. Not child molestation.
Then again, I wasn't surprised. After all, Moore is from Alabama and has been more or less supported by our president and is a serious candidate for the U.S. Senate.
Alabama and it's evangelical "Christian" base seems to embrace sell outs of the transgender and LGBT community. Unlike North Carolina, which was really affected by the anti trans backlash, Alabama just doesn't seem to care.
Anytime a perverted clown like Moore has a serious chance to make it to the Senate of the U.S., I am at once ashamed and scared.
You see, a cross dressing post about shaving my legs and slipping on hose and heels would have been so much better.
Unfortunately, this morning I caught child molester Roy Moore's act on the national news. I was literally chilled to the bone as this guy proceeds to blame the LGBT community for all the ills of society. Not child molestation.
Then again, I wasn't surprised. After all, Moore is from Alabama and has been more or less supported by our president and is a serious candidate for the U.S. Senate.
Alabama and it's evangelical "Christian" base seems to embrace sell outs of the transgender and LGBT community. Unlike North Carolina, which was really affected by the anti trans backlash, Alabama just doesn't seem to care.
Anytime a perverted clown like Moore has a serious chance to make it to the Senate of the U.S., I am at once ashamed and scared.
You see, a cross dressing post about shaving my legs and slipping on hose and heels would have been so much better.
Wednesday, November 29, 2017
Another One Bites the Dust
As you may have heard by now, Matt Lauer of NBC's Today Show followed CBS's Charlie Rose out the door for alleged sexual misconduct at work.
You may ask, what does it mean to the average transgender woman? Quite a bit, if you ever have been accosted by a so called "trans admirer." Unfortunately some of the worst admirers may be cross dressed. I know of one who always seemed to be "helping" young pretty transgender girls/women in need. Including a close friend of mine who ended up with an unwanted tongue down her throat during a so called "innocent" kiss.
In fact, over the years several of you Cyrsti's Condo regulars have written in depth about their interactions with often intoxicated cis-men. All of a sudden your validation as a woman becomes a case of very unwanted attention.
From those instances we (as trans women) should learn what cis women understand from an early age. No, simply does not mean no to some men and it is very difficult to gracefully exit the situation.
Depending on how well you transition and where you go, unfortunately you may have to live through this distasteful business.
Be careful and don't become a statistic!
You may ask, what does it mean to the average transgender woman? Quite a bit, if you ever have been accosted by a so called "trans admirer." Unfortunately some of the worst admirers may be cross dressed. I know of one who always seemed to be "helping" young pretty transgender girls/women in need. Including a close friend of mine who ended up with an unwanted tongue down her throat during a so called "innocent" kiss.
In fact, over the years several of you Cyrsti's Condo regulars have written in depth about their interactions with often intoxicated cis-men. All of a sudden your validation as a woman becomes a case of very unwanted attention.
From those instances we (as trans women) should learn what cis women understand from an early age. No, simply does not mean no to some men and it is very difficult to gracefully exit the situation.
Depending on how well you transition and where you go, unfortunately you may have to live through this distasteful business.
Be careful and don't become a statistic!
Transitioning Later in Life
Over the past several days I have received here in Cyrsti's Condo, several comments about accomplishing a MtF gender transition later in life (such as I did). The first comes from Emma:
" I started my transition room roughly five months ago. I’m 61 and, perhaps like you, had always feared the slippery slope. With much help and support I started facing my fears about three years ago, and especially in the last few months as I gradually started dressing in public (now full time), started HRT, and now, just living my life. I no longer see it as a slippery slope. Each step was/is an experiment where I gauge my feelings after allowing them to settle. I will probably change my name legally in the next year but I’m not at all sure if I want or need surgery(s). Time will tell!
But as you wrote, the landing has been good. I’ve never felt better in my life than I do today."
Congratulations Emma! Yay!!
And thanks to Paula and Connie for these comments!::
" I started my transition room roughly five months ago. I’m 61 and, perhaps like you, had always feared the slippery slope. With much help and support I started facing my fears about three years ago, and especially in the last few months as I gradually started dressing in public (now full time), started HRT, and now, just living my life. I no longer see it as a slippery slope. Each step was/is an experiment where I gauge my feelings after allowing them to settle. I will probably change my name legally in the next year but I’m not at all sure if I want or need surgery(s). Time will tell!
But as you wrote, the landing has been good. I’ve never felt better in my life than I do today."
Congratulations Emma! Yay!!
And thanks to Paula and Connie for these comments!::
-
"To "b" or not to "b"; that is the question. It's not really the point, however. I'm not really sure that I believe, totally, that life - and transition - is a journey, but I do know that my transition - and my life - will end at the same time. There are so many things left to REdiscover; I really have not enough time to get to them now. I'm sure as hell gonna try, though."
Tuesday, November 28, 2017
Another Victory
From NBC News:
A federal judge on Monday ruled that the government must allow transgender people to enlist in the military beginning on Jan. 1, 2018.
The order came after the government asked Washington, D.C., District Court Judge Colleen Kollar-Kotelly if it could push back the Jan. 1 enlistment date, which was established under President Barack Obama.
Last month, Kotar-Kelly issued a preliminary injunction that blocked the Trump administration's plans to exclude transgender people from the military. She said the government had offered no solid evidence that showed why the ban was necessary.
“This is an important clarification because it means the military can’t do an end run around the judge’s decision,” said Jennifer Levi, of the GLBTQ Legal Advocates & Defenders, or GLAD, said about Monday's order.
GLAD and The National Center for Lesbian Rights represent the five longtime transgender military service members who sued the government in August, claiming that Trump’s efforts to ban transgender people from military service was unconstitutional and denied them equal rights and due process.
For more, go here.
Transgender Mirrors?
This post comes from 2012 and was a popular look on a mirror's effect on a cross dresser or transgender woman:
"In Cyrsti's Condo, I like to discuss the powerful role of the mirror in the life of a transgender person.
The big problems with mirrors are they are pathological liars. They can only do what you want them to do. As you become lost in the eyes of that bewitching creature looking back at you in the mirror-in mere moments you can become just as lost out and about in an unforgiving public.
Let's call the process trans-physics.
Mirrors and pictures are one dimensional and just happen to make you look better if you take a picture from a mirror.
I have a friend who critiques the most attractive Flickr and YouTube cross dressing pictures and videos he can find. Rightly or wrongly, he uses other objects in the scenes to judge (among other things) the size of the person. Certainly the majority of us born with a taller, thicker body. No problem, we can use any number of photo tools to be one dimensional attractive. Of course, there is nothing wrong with that until you walk out the door.
At that point you have moved into advanced trans physics. You are a three dimensional person - suddenly the good old mirror doesn't mean that much.
At this point, if you aren't scared to death-check yourself to see if you are still alive!
Assuming you are alive, lets work a couple of very real factors into our formula. (Bare with me, I didn't mention I'm a functional illiterate in math!)
Studies show human beings determine things like gender very quickly as they observe others. This is good or bad. Good of course if you are successful in projecting your gender, even if it for a couple seconds. Bad of course if you don't. That's another topic for another day.
The other factor is the blood smell. Humans are predators and are quite capable of picking up the vibe of "something isn't quite right" with that picture. The genetic female of the species is quite good at it. Many times eye contact and a little smile will disarm the situation.
I can write literally pages and pages on this causing your eyes to bleed.
Lets try a formula: Tr+P-B= Pr or Trans person + projection - blood = presentation.
Just remember it's a highly simplified idea from my highly simplified mind but all in all it works.
Finally, let me toss in one more word about those pesky mirrors...they can be a girl's best friend when you are out. A quick check to make sure your hair, makeup or outfit is not off kilter is always a good thing. A good hint is to hold an article of clothing up in front of yourself in a store in a mirror. It's a great time to give yourself a good once over!"
"In Cyrsti's Condo, I like to discuss the powerful role of the mirror in the life of a transgender person.
 |
| Mirror Picture. |
The big problems with mirrors are they are pathological liars. They can only do what you want them to do. As you become lost in the eyes of that bewitching creature looking back at you in the mirror-in mere moments you can become just as lost out and about in an unforgiving public.
Let's call the process trans-physics.
Mirrors and pictures are one dimensional and just happen to make you look better if you take a picture from a mirror.
I have a friend who critiques the most attractive Flickr and YouTube cross dressing pictures and videos he can find. Rightly or wrongly, he uses other objects in the scenes to judge (among other things) the size of the person. Certainly the majority of us born with a taller, thicker body. No problem, we can use any number of photo tools to be one dimensional attractive. Of course, there is nothing wrong with that until you walk out the door.
At that point you have moved into advanced trans physics. You are a three dimensional person - suddenly the good old mirror doesn't mean that much.
At this point, if you aren't scared to death-check yourself to see if you are still alive!
Assuming you are alive, lets work a couple of very real factors into our formula. (Bare with me, I didn't mention I'm a functional illiterate in math!)
Studies show human beings determine things like gender very quickly as they observe others. This is good or bad. Good of course if you are successful in projecting your gender, even if it for a couple seconds. Bad of course if you don't. That's another topic for another day.
The other factor is the blood smell. Humans are predators and are quite capable of picking up the vibe of "something isn't quite right" with that picture. The genetic female of the species is quite good at it. Many times eye contact and a little smile will disarm the situation.
I can write literally pages and pages on this causing your eyes to bleed.
Lets try a formula: Tr+P-B= Pr or Trans person + projection - blood = presentation.
Just remember it's a highly simplified idea from my highly simplified mind but all in all it works.
Finally, let me toss in one more word about those pesky mirrors...they can be a girl's best friend when you are out. A quick check to make sure your hair, makeup or outfit is not off kilter is always a good thing. A good hint is to hold an article of clothing up in front of yourself in a store in a mirror. It's a great time to give yourself a good once over!"
Transgender Actress?
When will we come to the point when there is no such thing as a "transgender" actress? Take actress Hari Nef for example. When will she become just an "actress?"
It's no different in calling Denzel Washington a "Black" actor after all, or Ellen a lesbian comic.
I suppose it's no different for all our new transgender politicians. The fact of the matter is, they won their elections not because they were trans, but because they spoke to the issues.
I know I am biased and impatient, but the time is upon society as a whole to accept us for who we are...human beings.
 |
| Hari Nef |
I suppose it's no different for all our new transgender politicians. The fact of the matter is, they won their elections not because they were trans, but because they spoke to the issues.
I know I am biased and impatient, but the time is upon society as a whole to accept us for who we are...human beings.
Monday, November 27, 2017
It's All Fun and Games Until:
As I go back through the 5200 plus Cyrsti's Condo's archive posts, I normally come across several points to consider.
Perhaps the most important one today was the fact how wonderfully new and exciting the transition from cross dresser to transgender woman was.
So many years later, sometimes I miss the "good old days" when a trip to the mall included seeking out as many mirrors as I could to catch a glimpse of the "beautiful" creature I had become. These days, all mirrors have become more utilitarian.
It's all good though, for the most part, even though I have lost almost all the childlike wonder of this adventure, settling into a new life is amazing in itself. How many other people can say they have had the chance to start over in a new life?
Perhaps the most important one today was the fact how wonderfully new and exciting the transition from cross dresser to transgender woman was.
 |
| Circa 2011 |
It's all good though, for the most part, even though I have lost almost all the childlike wonder of this adventure, settling into a new life is amazing in itself. How many other people can say they have had the chance to start over in a new life?
The Moving Parts of a Trans Woman
This post is actually a Cyrsti's Condo "archive post" from 2013:
Disclaimer! I shop for two things I use to ship my Etsy and Ebay items from a certain leading big box store which I feel has done more to destroy the inner fabric of America than any other. I refer to them as the "Nazi's" and I buy regionally produced cardboard boxes at literally pennies on the dollar and Scotch Tape. I literally can't find what I need anywhere else and even I can't resist the price.
This morning as I went to the shipping section at the Nazi's (Walmart), I had a rare chance to see two women in my town at the same time who made the almost "beautiful" category. First of all, I am and have been a "student" of women. I have said and written many times on how long it took me to figure out why I didn't have a sexual attraction to genetic females per se' but wanted so badly to be one. To have the hair flowing in the breeze, to be able to fill out a tight pair of jeans or shirt without padding.
This morning I mentally stopped to consider the many moving parts a woman has to contend with and how I was checking them down in my mind- and finally how did all of this relate to me a transgender woman on HRT.
Obviously, I don't live in Hollywood or down in Miami where all the very beautiful people are. Actually, I don't fare too badly with the lot of genetic women around here who do nothing for themselves physically. So I don't know if that is good or bad.
Plus a woman's look is like a poker hand. You hold some good cards like breasts, hair or legs but lose the hand in other areas like face or proportion. If you care, naturally you try to build up the positives and bluff the opponent into thinking you have the winning hand.
You know I have heard seemingly 16 zillion times from my genetic women friends "welcome to our world". I know it's all in good fun but sometimes I don't think they realize I'm a "A" student of their world and loving to finally get some on the job training.
A big part of the training is knowing "parts is not parts" when you are talking about a woman. Any sort of skill I can acquire in the big picture furthers the success of my "moving parts".
Disclaimer! I shop for two things I use to ship my Etsy and Ebay items from a certain leading big box store which I feel has done more to destroy the inner fabric of America than any other. I refer to them as the "Nazi's" and I buy regionally produced cardboard boxes at literally pennies on the dollar and Scotch Tape. I literally can't find what I need anywhere else and even I can't resist the price.
This morning as I went to the shipping section at the Nazi's (Walmart), I had a rare chance to see two women in my town at the same time who made the almost "beautiful" category. First of all, I am and have been a "student" of women. I have said and written many times on how long it took me to figure out why I didn't have a sexual attraction to genetic females per se' but wanted so badly to be one. To have the hair flowing in the breeze, to be able to fill out a tight pair of jeans or shirt without padding.
This morning I mentally stopped to consider the many moving parts a woman has to contend with and how I was checking them down in my mind- and finally how did all of this relate to me a transgender woman on HRT.
Obviously, I don't live in Hollywood or down in Miami where all the very beautiful people are. Actually, I don't fare too badly with the lot of genetic women around here who do nothing for themselves physically. So I don't know if that is good or bad.
Plus a woman's look is like a poker hand. You hold some good cards like breasts, hair or legs but lose the hand in other areas like face or proportion. If you care, naturally you try to build up the positives and bluff the opponent into thinking you have the winning hand.
You know I have heard seemingly 16 zillion times from my genetic women friends "welcome to our world". I know it's all in good fun but sometimes I don't think they realize I'm a "A" student of their world and loving to finally get some on the job training.
A big part of the training is knowing "parts is not parts" when you are talking about a woman. Any sort of skill I can acquire in the big picture furthers the success of my "moving parts".
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I am now looking forward to the rest of my life and all the changes expected and unexpected."