Brrrr!!!!

Today I wish I could write a post full of transgender excitement and sweetness and light, but it is a cold drab day here in Southwestern Ohio. First of all I am feeling the effects of being chilled all the time. I started to feel that way as soon as I got into seriously taking HRT (hormonal replacement therapy). I found out the hard way why cis women always complained about being cold. I have been walking approximately a football field a day lately, so today I plan on doing it at a brisk pace.

Also, I need to call my dog's veterinarian's office and find out how much it will cost to out her down. (euthanize her.) The poor dog is nearing 18, blind and can barely get around anymore. As sad it is becomes, I would wish someone could do it for me, if I ever reach a certain point in my life. Still, it is going to be so hard to bid farewell to one of my best friends.

On a brighter note,

This is my "Lucky Buckeye" my daughter gave me for my birthday. to put it in reference, Buckeye trees grow wild here in Ohio and their nuts are what you see in the box which is approximately 1 1/2 inch square.

The Buckeye came from a tree I found as a sapling after my wife died. (She was as big if not bigger fan of The Ohio State University as I am.) During the huge game against Penn State Saturday, we were behind almost the entire game and I was about to give up...until we won! She (wife) made a huge deal of never giving up and she was channeling me not to do it either.

I call the Buckeye my "Lucky" one because my daughter planted the weak sampling and over the years has nursed it into the tree it is today.

Now that it is bearing fruit, she plans on "hatching more."

So I know this post didn't contain much exciting content about transgender issues or the LGBT world, but I wanted you all to know a little more about what really can go on behind the scenes.

In The Bright Hot Spotlight

Saturday, I went with Liz and her son to her karate tournament. If I knew what I was going to get into, I would have tried to dress up a bit.

Halfway through, I left to take the son back home and went back. By the time I got back, the middle school gymnasium was nearly full. I needed to walk past a couple full sections of seats (probably 25 rows) to get to where I was setting before.

I felt as if every set of eyes were on me and I had to walk at least two miles to get to my seat, which of course was occupied by the time I got back. More than likely most eyes were not on me and worrying wouldn't have done much about it anyway. So, I hitched up my big girl panties and went for it.

I ended up wedging myself into a row of people that wasn't quite full and tried to make myself as small and inconspicuous as possible.

Looking back on the day, leggings and boots though, probably would have been a better choice than the old baggy jeans I was wearing.

Live and learn the hard LGBT transgender way...as always.

I am sure also, there were several Northern Kentucky folks who got their first glimpse of a real live trans woman and knew it!

Friday Night Lights

Coming up tonight Liz and I are going to a high school football game. The game will include two of my grand-kids playing in the marching band. The game just happens to feature the town's school I grew up in versus the grand-kids school.

Typically for Ohio, the weather is changing daily, going from a beautiful sunny day to a chilly, breezy and raining evening. Then the weather will flip flop back tomorrow in Columbus for the huge afternoon game between The Ohio State Buckeyes and Penn State.

As I was agonizing over what to wear tonight, I got to thinking about the chance to go at all. Sure, I have to plan an outfit around the cold and rain, but this in essence is what I signed up for when I started this transgender LGBT journey.

The whole day will be such a departure from my old "heels and hose" cross dressing days, I can't believe it sometimes. I also urge all of you thinking about going 24/7 to think about it too. Consider your most challenging trans feminine experience and go from there. Mine was going to a junk yard one day to pick up a part. I figured if I could make it there, I could make it anywhere.

Of course, key to me was having a support system to back me up. An example is tonight (as I wrote) Liz is going to tonight and we will be joining my ultra supportive daughter and son in law. Even my first wife will be there and she supports me too.

Then, there is always more to the trip than just the game, because we will probably stop for a bite to eat...the more interaction the better.

And by the way, I will be rooting for my hometown team, Springfield. :)

Pass the LGBT Tissues?

This will be a two part post. The first part comes from Connie's comment about my "hormonal" weepy post yesterday. The second comes from a post I read from Stana on Femulate.

Connie wrote:


"Excuse me, but would that not be "the The Ohio State University Band?" I hope I didn't make you cry with that. ;-)

I'm not sure if my weepiness is due to the fact that I was always prone to be, but no longer feel the need to hold it back, or because I'm at an age where I find nostalgia in so many things. Probably both.

A lady should always carry tissues - for weeping and many other things. I remember once when my grandson had chocolate stuck on his face. I had to resist the temptation to lick my thumb in order to clean it off, opting for the tissue instead. And now, with that memory, I can feel my eyes starting to well up. Yes, such is life!"

Yes, the Ohio State Band makes me weepy because of all the great memories it brings back from my life. Although I can see how I left myself open for your comment :). Actually, around here it's known as "The Best Damn Band in the Land" and it's harder to make it into the band than onto the football team.

Finally, it's interesting I don't carry a tampon in my purse anymore (in lieu of tissues), for those emergency friend requests in Women's rooms. They all think I am too old I guess. :)

Stana's post had to do with we transgender women and/or crossdressers getting started on our feminine paths because we formed the desire to create our own girlfriend. Although I have spent a considerable time wondering about the exact same thing and I was intensely shy around girls, I think, for whatever reason, I was predestined to gender transition into the trans woman I am now from puberty on. 

Plus, even though I went on to date quite a few girls/women, I couldn't shake the feeling I wanted to be them more than with them, and like so many of you , I followed the same path of stair-steps to get to where I am now.

At any rate, Stana writes an interesting post which you can read by following the link above.  

Damn Hormones

Must be my estrogen has been out of whack for the last month or so. Even with the excitement of a LGBT transgender Halloween, I have been uncontrollably weepy on occasion.

Most of the time, I find myself in the uniquely feminine position of crying out of happiness or because of becoming overly sympathetic. Examples are I cried during the fireworks last week when Liz and I went to a Cancer (Leukemia) Society Walk and when and if I get to see the Ohio State Band enter the field, I cry too.

Maybe I am just becoming over sentimental in my old age, because I have not experienced the overall melancholy I experienced when I first started HRT (hormone replacement therapy.)

Whatever the case, I have accepted being "weepy" has being just another part of my journey and always make sure I have an extra tissue or two in my purse!

Such is life.

Boys Will be Girls

In what will probably be my last Witches's Ball post, I remembered I promised to tell all of you if I saw any/many cross dressers and/or beginning transgender women at the ball.

The answer is just a couple over the course of the evening out of an estimated 150 attendees.

As you can see to the left, I was afforded a great seat to sit and "people" watch.

Both of the other cross dressers were very young and thin and one was dressed as a skeletal witch and the other just as a girl. One looked like she was wearing her own hair and the other had a cheap Halloween store blond knock off.

Liz had a chance to make eye contact with the second who was there with a group of girls and received a shy smile in return.

I couldn't make eye contact with either which was different because of all the other eye contact I made.

Maybe next year they will be back!

Remember When?

One of the most remarkable moments during the "Witches Ball" on Saturday, came with  remembering back to all the Halloween parties which played such an integral part in me beginning to find my way in the world as a transgender woman.

Back in those days, my goal was to (of course) do my best to transform from a guy into the most attractive or bizarre woman I could. These days I am taking a much shorter route from trans woman to woman.

It's difficult to believe how far I have been able to come in my journey and still have so much fun.

I was able to use the rest room as much as I wanted without incident and was even able to enjoy a couple of beers before we cleaned up and headed home after three in the morning.

To be able to walk through the crowd and feel all the eyes on me was a rush too. I guess I am just an incurable narcissist after all. I just loved all of the attention and I remembered to ask Liz to take a couple of pictures to illustrate my point.

Rarely (never) do I like my pictures but I had a fun time with these.

As I did with the evening. Long live Halloween! :)

Perception and Reality Intersected

Well, the 15th Annual Cincinnati Witches Ball has come and gone, and of course it was a transgender woman's right to change her mind about a costume.

Actually, I couldn't quite find what I wore last year, so I hurriedly threw together a costume that came a little closer to fitting the night's theme.

I found a sparkly sleeveless top (red) and paired it with my black wide gaucho pants and flats for comfort and topped it all off with a funky large fedora.

For makeup, I used a light foundation, smokey eyes and dark red lipstick. I even did a fairly good job of painting my own nails a variation of red.

The most interesting story of the night came early as I was helping dole out the appetizers and one of the young bartenders who I did not know came through to help distribute them throughout the venue.

He said, "I thought you were a real woman." I said thanks and I am...a transgender woman. He just said "Oh." and went on about his business.

I thought I was going to be in for a real interesting evening if it was starting like this. However, it calmed down quite a bit.

Of course, I got quite a few looks and was spoken to many times but the fun of the evening came from the ones who really didn't know what gender I was.

Plus I spent quite a bit of time chatting with a couple old acquaintances I hadn't seen for awhile.

I will have a couple more posts about the event plus I do have a couple more pictures to pass along (no pun intended) too. So stick around Cyrsti's Condo.

The Bitch (Witch) is Back!

After much consternation over the "gangster moll" costume not fitting well, I decided to save Liz the time to make it over and will come to the "Cincinnati Witches Ball" as ...a witch.

Witches Ball Costume...Five years ago

I use a long flowing black and white patterned dress with fish nets and flats and use a much lighter foundation to set off my "smoky eyes." If I can find a funky witches hat to go with it, I am going to add it this year too.

Last year, I did garner the attention of an "admirer" so it will be interesting to see if I do again this year.

It's a fun free wheeling costume to wear, so I'm looking forward to "gliding" through the evening. I suppose I could pick up a witches broom to go with the costume, but it would be something else I would have to keep track of and put out extra expense.

With a little luck I may be able to come up with a picture!

It will be interesting if I see any other cross dresser - transgender women there.