Girl Stuff

Jillian Page writes a blog for the Montreal Gazette
and she presents great perspective on the transgender experience.
This is a great post concerning the female socialization process we go through:

"I was chatting with two women last night — one born-female, the other a transitioned woman — about my concerns with the way some women give me the evil eye when I wear certain clothes. I got two very different sets of responses from them. The born-female woman, who is my partner in life now and someone I love very much, says some women are just naturally jealous of each other, and that I just need to learn to live with it. I shouldn’t be so sensitive, and should just shrug it off. In other words, c’est la vie. I should add that my partner would be the first one to let me know if something I am wearing is not appropriate (she hates my long wigs, for example). The transitioned friend first asked me what sort of clothes are drawing the evil eye, then suggested I need to dress in clothing that would “better match my age.” Grrrr . . . them’s fighting words to me . . . First, I don’t wear mini-skirts to work. Occasionally, I wear a dress that falls, say, 2 or 3 inches above the knees. But mostly, I wear dresses or skirts that fall to the midway point of my calves. I don’t show any copious amounts of cleavage because, sadly, I don’t have a heck of a lot of cleavage to be showing. Other women in my office reveal more than I can ever hope to have. So, objectively speaking, at the very most, I might show a bit more leg that others do . . . but then again, I’ve seen other female colleagues show the same amount if not more. As for my choice of clothing, some of it is a little more youthful, but most of what I wear in public is fine for a woman of any age."

Follow her link above for more.

Will the Circle be Unbroken?

Recently, I re encountered one of my protagonists in a place I go to quite a bit for a drink.
He is middle aged and is one of those guys who comes off as just too smooth. Worse yet, when you see beneath the veneer there is structural damage.
Over the year or so that he has been coming there when I have, he has always made the point of seeking me out and always manages to come up with some sort of snide comment concerning my gender presentation. About the time I get mad enough to really rock his world, he seems to sense it and scurries away.
The visit was quite the eye opener for me anyhow because no one seemed to know who I was with my new hair. The significance of the experience was not lost on me since once again I had gone full circle. I actually have been going there for approximately 6 years. My wife and I actually went several times before she passed away and I continued to go back as a girl until the present. For most of the crew and all of the regulars not to know me was huge.
Back to my buddy.  He circled me a couple times on his way to the bar's lottery machine. Finally he slithered up and said "I finally recognized you over here-looking all normal and that." Well, I guess that's a compliment?
Often I have thought about saying "pull up a seat, let's talk." If I thought it would do any good I would try to explain I never was just a guy getting dressed up as a girl to come out and socialize. Did he understand what female hormones are and that I have been on them for most of the year now and OH Gee- I neglected to mention I have been growing my hair for a year and that is what he is seeing. The bottom line is I don't like or respect him enough to waste my time.
Finally, I know the normal he saw is finally the real me and it's only the beginning.

Transgender Cinema

I can only describe this cinema trailer for the Carl(a) movie is a view into transgender, transsexual reality:

Allie in Stuttgart

Stuttgart, Arkansas-not Germany to be exact. Allie is one of two transgender teens profiled in a new film project:

"She’s a regular teenager in many ways — worried about what other kids in school think of her and excited about college. But she’s also transgender, and that’s made her life more difficult and challenging than most of us could imagine. Allie realized she was meant to be a girl when she was  three years old, she explained, but had to keep her identity hidden to avoid bullying and abuse. The project called a "friend film" still needs funding, and if you’re inclined you can support it through Indie-Go-Go.

I have never thought words such as courage and bravery were appropriate for me so I hesitate to use them for Allie either.  In reality she is just like the rest of us-just trying to be ourselves. Don't we all deserve a chance?

Check out the video:

Sophia Abella

Sophia Abella, transgender model

Playing by the Numbers.

Without getting too political, one of the presidential candidates recently referred to a certain 47% of the population he wasn't concerned about. Unfortunately, I fall into his "47". I'm on Social Security and I receive Veterans Administration health benefits.
Then I read this huge Gallop Poll tossing me into the three percent or so of Americans who are LGBT. I really don't know what all of that means to me or that I should care.
I was curious about the 3 percenters this morning when I stopped by a thrift store on the way back from my daughter's.
The reason I was curious is this store is huge but was almost empty. I estimate there were only ten or so shoppers in the whole place and three of them were men shopping exclusively in the women's clothes. Hmmmm- Now I will give you the fact that a guy could be shopping for an outfit in one of the large women's retail stores but not so much in a thrift store. Here honey "happy birthday" -check out this deep discount used sweater! Now there are great clothes and values to be found in these stores and I shop them a lot. I do not think a man just happened in to shop for women's clothes there.
Also this morning, one guy was going through the dress rack in earnest and even stopped a clerk to inquire about a size. The other guy had a whole arm load of clothing-was wearing shorts with hairless legs. I know it's just Halloween?
My only point is from my own personal survey this morning, maybe Gallop missed a large segment of the population who identify as cross dressers and normally are very deeply closeted.
If they added a "C" to the LGBT count, maybe all my numbers would total up to over 50 percent!
Oh wow! I'm finally validated!!!! Yay!

Gender Not Important?

When do you reach a point where gender isn't all that important anymore?
I'm guessing when you reach a point where you do care or not that society views you as your chosen gender. You just live it.
The only reason I bring this up is (for my enjoyment) I once again jumped into the transgender versus rad fem debate on a blog.
Being the contentious person I am, I just said don't all of you have a real life? Of course I was labeled a troll and told to crawl back under the rock I came out from under.
I was devastated! I have spent years making my area under the rock liveable and I have most of the comforts of home such as running water, electric and of course the all important computer access. It was not easy kicking all the snakes, spiders and snails out of here!
Actually, the whole affair saddens me- but not enough to realize they all are sitting ducks on the pond. So easy to stir up when I am bored.
I've taken 63 years to get to the point of just being comfortable with me-transgender or not.
I know that on occasion I'm naive. I was fairly certain most peeps come to some sort of peace with who they are even if they aren't transgender or transsexual or whatever.
I guess I was wrong. Excuse me while I clean the cave!

Your Transition Tube

As you all know, every now and then I like to pass along a YouTube Video which seems to stand out from the rest of the huge number of transgender transition vids. I so wish the medium would have been around in the "dark information" ages when I grew up!

Anjali Lama

Anjali...Nepal's first transgender model!