Media of One.

Recently Gladd released it's ratings of gay, lesbian and transgendered television shows and networks:

MTV, CW Top GLAAD 2009-2010 TV Ratings

All public scrutiny of the media is good and some day the stereotype of the demented crossdresser/transvestite may be behind us. In the meantime each of us who goes out into the public have an important job.

As we interact with clerks, servers or the public at large, we really are pioneers in a sense.  We combat the "Jerry Springer" sensationalism by showing people one at a time we are just people too! Rather than putting our pants on one leg at a time, it might be panty hose!

We are a media of one. We didn't ask for it but it is a huge responsibility we should be greatful for.

Another Book Excerpt.

Ft. Knox in January was not conducive to either Jessie or I.

“Back in the day” basic training was an exercise in team building and endurance. Survival was the number one priority not fashion!

Survive we did and in reality, basic training was the last I would see of the real army. During this period of time Jessie was totally a figment of my imagination. Mentally though, she was as strong as ever. Sweet memories of smooth legs, silky stockings and lingerie intensified how much I missed the physical essence of Jessie. Adding insult to injury, my tour in Southeast Asia was in Thailand.  Thailand of course, is the home of some the most beautiful “lady boys” in the world. I could admire the art form but couldn’t participate!  I was not stationed in Bangkok so I didn’t get to see the best of the best but I do remember a “katoy” (boy/girl) who spent a lot of time outside the front gate at the base. He was tall and beautiful! We all were known to pick up a girl or two on occasion. It would have been difficult to pick him up discreetly but it could have been one of those life changing experiences. I never got to Katmandu (which was only a couple of hours from Thailand) and I never tried to pick the “katoy” up. The only two regrets I can remember!

The good part for Jessie during this time was her return was becoming a reality!

The tour in Thailand came and went and Germany became the next stop. Wedged in between was leave time at home plus a brief stop at a base in the states. Thirty days was plenty of time to let Jessie out and let her breathe some fresh air! Thirty days was also long enough to shave the legs for a week or so with “grow back” time.  I had the budget to treat her to a shopping trip and was in heaven the night she stepped out of the shadows once again. It was kind of like riding a bicycle. I was afraid she would be out of practice with the makeup and clothes but it all came as second nature for her. Just a small insight into how much she dominated my personality and how close to the surface she really was. The freshly shaved legs, the soft perfume, clothes and hair made me wonder what a “real girl” would feel in the same situation!

I knew what this girl felt. The night should go on forever!

Jewelry Fashionistas!

One of the malls in the area just opened a store called "Charming Charlies" Of course I had to check it out.  My window shopping indicated it was a wonderful store full of purses and jewelery and other accessories. I couldn't wait for it to open!
I was able to shop it yesterday and was not disappointed.  My only problem was I did not have enough money to buy of one many items.
Maybe you are lucky enough to have one these in your area. If not they have a web site http://www.charmingcharlie.com.
Check it out!

Right Place-Right Time-Right Mirror.

Returned home yesterday from an extended weekend mini trip and I had time to head out to my favorite Tuesday night spot. Cool!
Tossed on a predetermined outfit (often the best kind) and headed out the door . With me over thinking is over rated!
Arrived in time to get the last seat which I was grateful for until I could move to a "mirror seat". If you a "card carrying" TG girl, you know how important a mirror can be. You can check your appearance and see if anyone else is checking you. If you do it right.
All of it worked to perfection last night as a middle aged guy slid in beside me and ordered dinner. After he ate we struck up a lite conversation about where he was from, sports and his work.
The place was noisy, so we had to lean into each other to talk which he didn't seem to mind. There was no way to turn fully and talk face to face, so I could watch most of the interaction in the mirror in front of us. He was standing and I was sitting on a bar stool, so he was probably 6 to 8 " above me.
All I could see was a dark haired girl close to this guy leaning down ever so slightly to talk to her.
I was in heaven! Everything around me became a blur. I wished it could have lasted forever-but of course it didn't.
We went our separate ways.
He'll never know what a fun time it was! Hope it was for him too!

If I was a Boy.

I'm a little slow. I finally got around to listening to the "Beyonce" song "If I was a Boy".
The meaning is actually very simple. She would be a better man from her experiences as a woman.
Could we better women because of our experiences as a man?
We certainly could be!
If we understood that listening was a better solution to a problem than a quick fix.
If we learned that slower and smarter was better than a frontal attack?
If we learned a little from both of these, a man could be a better woman.
Many men never understand the workings of the female gender which leads to ignorance, distrust and sometimes violence.
What a shame. As some of us know who have been fortunate to have lived on both sides of the fence-what better humans we could make!
Her follow up song "If I was a Girl who was a Boy! What fun would that be!

Transgendered parade marshall Candis Cayne marches to her own drummer

Transgendered parade marshall Candis Cayne marches to her own drummer

I Got It!

I've always wondered about a major disconnect in guy self.
As I was working on another chapter of my book several nights ago, I stumbled upon a huge epiphany! (I love that word!)
As we all know, males are very visual critters. Especially when females are involved. Much to the dismay of the female you happened to be with.
As my eyes wondered to the attractive girl who walked within eyesight, I would normally get in trouble with the woman I was with for looking. "Sneak-a-peek" became a fun game. Until I got caught!
As my dual gendered personality became more evident, I wondered where the problem was.
I looked, but not with a sexual intent. Something was wrong!
The answer? My female side was looking at the women... as women do.
How good did the "B" look? What was she wearing? Did she look good in the clothes?
How would I look and WOW where did she get those shoes!
All those years being glared at by girlfriends and spouses! The excuse was so clear!
It's not me looking...it's her!

Shop till you Drop!

Included in the list of my top 5 asked questions is where do you get your clothes?
Followed quickly by- do I do my shopping as a girl? Yes, I do about 90% of the time. As a man, I’m almost as uncomfortable in a ladies clothing store as the next guy.
Question 2 is do I use the changing rooms? Not very much…by choice. I’m a diligent bargain shopper. I know my size and what piece of clothing I’m looking for. If a certain clothing item jumps out at me, I grab it!
Jeans are a different story. If I see a pair I like, I have to try them on. I’m not smart enough to know all the nuances of sizes and I’m fairly sure genetic women have the same problem. Start with a certain size and move downward! (We hope)
I’ve never had a problem asking to use a changing room. After all, I’m a paying customer like the next girl. I’ve never been told there was a problem.
If you are a little shy in this department, here are a couple things to remember.
Number one, you can become a regular in the store quickly. Some clerks do work on a commission and it is not difficult to establish a relationship with one who WANTS to help you! She can benefit from a monetary or personal point. Obviously you are a different shopper from the norm so be more fun! It gives the clerk a chance to work her "magic" with you!
Once the bond has been established, both of you can be more discreet in areas such as the dressing room. If you desire.
Number two; observe the interaction between women in these stores. Often the “B” word is too kind! I’ve mentioned this to several of my genetic female friends! Often you treat your same gender really bad! Especially in retail. They agree. Immediately, I’m in for better treatment because I treat the clerks with a friendly respect.
What did we learn girls? It is very easy to shop as a female. Fellow shoppers will be so involved in their search for the perfect outfit they are less likely to notice you at all. Treat the clerks with respect and you can become their personal regular quickly.
Shopping can be one of the easiest and most enjoyable parts of your life as a girl if you allow it to be!
One word of warning. Wear those comfortable shoes if you are planning to “shop till you drop”!

Why Do You Fail?

In your relationships as a transgendered person?
I'm a member of a very active and well populated TG site and a female spouse (very rare to the site) observed  there seemed to be a large group of separated individuals.
Her statement was "she would not leave her spouse just because of an external body change and increased pitch in the voice." Here was my response which was triggered by a dinner I went to last night.
I am widowed. My wife and I had parameters set on my "hobby". She knew of my "pastime" before we got married and stay married for 25 years.
The problem we ran into was the "hobby and pastime" became a lifestyle. The more she gave the more I wanted.
We survived because I loved her dearly.
I believe you see so many TG separations because- number one the initial bond wasn't that strong or the dynamics changed. OR
Let me use the couple I met last night as an example.
They have been together for around 20 years. They had a fight two years ago which led to him burning all his clothes. Now he paints his fingernails red and wears a bra stuffed with socks and goes to Wal Mart. He is not an effeminate or young guy who might pass for an androgynous girl. Call me silly, put I don't see this relationship surviving?
Last night's example is not the norm with couples I have met over the years...but then again I haven't met many couples. (The cis-female view here and in my world is rare.)
The guys I interact with fall into 3 categories. 1.- "The wife" doesn't understand , flat out refuses to participate and the relationship is history. 2.-CD's in remission, they would prefer to live their fantasy through me or others like me...until the wife finds out. She will and he goes back to the closet...pulls out a dress and the relationship is history. 3.- Or ,when husband puts that dress on, he is sexually into guys. Enough said on that. Relationship is history.
In my experience, you are a rare lady! You must have an incredible relationship!
With the great majority of others-the whole process becomes so much more complex than changing the outside of the body and changing the voice.