Feminizing Medications

The last time I went to my therapist, she gave me an article which contained guidelines for the changes you can expect overtime when you decide to take hormones designed to feminize your appearance. They come from a group of Western New York organizations. Including the Gay and Lesbian Medical Alliance, the National Center for Trans Equality and others.

Here are the recommendations for feminizing HRT:

Breast growth - 3 to 6 months
Body fat redistribution - 3 to 6 months
Thinning of body hair - 6 to 12 months

Softening of skin/less oily - 3 to 6 months
Decreased testicular volume - 3-6 months

I would add from my own results, quite a bit of change is determined by how much your dosage is when you start. For example, nearly all of my first year on hormones was at a minimum and then a year later I was taken off my meds totally due to a medical problem. So. all together I have been on HRT for nearly five years. I would also add (for me) my hair growth (on my head) took off and finally after all these years I am starting to see fat distribution to my hips.

Of course emotionally, I began to feel the feminizing effects immediately. I cried more in the first three months or so than I had in my entire life. Finally, I learned how cis women deal with their thermostats. When they say they are cold, believe me, I found out they are and then again there were the vicious hot flashes one can go through.

When I talk about transgender women and HRT though, I always tell you all this disclaimer: Please seek medical attention before you undertake this process.

Additional information from where I received mine (including masculiniizing medications) can be obtained by going here: www.gayalliance.org.

Finally, remember too, HRT is no replacement for the woman you feel in your head. It's only a tool to align yourself, if you can safely do it medically.

Victory March?

At last night's transgender - cross dresser support group meeting, it occurred to me how long and drawn out process the journey is to cross the gender frontier and live with your gender dysphoria.

Last night, the full range of people were there. We had everyone from a total beginner to gender fluid individuals to full time trans women and a trans man.

As the beginner struggled with his/hers emotions and talked to the group, I remembered back to my ancient transvestite days when I first came out to a small group of friends. Rightfully so, it seems like it was long ago.

As most of you Cyrsti Condo regulars know, my journey includes several suicide attempts. One active and a couple passive ones. That is why I consider my path a victory march

I can't ever tell you it gets a whole lot easier but then again, life becomes so much more satisfying. A victory to be sure.

Gender Dysphoria

Saturday Liz and I went out to eat with her brother to celebrate two birthdays...hers and her son's. The steakhouse we went to is very familiar to me and really, I have never had any problems there. So, I couldn't understand why my dysphoria was giving me fits. It can only be described as a deep seated groundless anxiety.

Of course, it started to settle down as once again, outside of a couple looks, I didn't receive any negative attention. Even when I used the women's restroom.

I suppose I might as well just get used to it. Being transgender brings with it the inherent need for feminine acceptance and often, the acceptance is very hard to find in a world out to justify it's own acceptance.

On many occasions, I refer to my dysphoria as a form of PTSD. Which could be true too. I personally have never met any trans women who haven't experienced it. Some to the extent of subjecting themselves to seemingly endless painful medical operations.

I just went through too much error, in the "trial and error" cross dressing period of my life and, when you think of it, lasted much longer (so far) than my full time out and about years as a trans woman.

It's ironic too that I haven't experienced any significant public problems in years, so I can't justify the way I feel. At all. Perhaps I might as well just get used to it!

Veterans Day

As I sit here on a cold Sunday morning snuggled in...my mind travels back to my own military experience.

Then, I thought of all of those who came before me and especially all the men and women who paid the ultimate sacrifice.

Plus we all know the disproportionate amount of transgender troops who took their closeted secret all the way to the grave.

To all of you who served,  or are serving now, you have my thanks!

Her Cup Runneth Over

Connie wrote in and commented on my very rusty bucket list. Before we get to her comment though, I have a short experience to relay from last night.

It was Liz's birthday yesterday and since my baking skills are lacking, I stopped and bought us a couple pints of Ben and Jerry's ice cream to celebrate. Without the candles...quite a few in her case! :)

When I went to cash out, at the Walgreens, a young man rushed up to take my cash/card. As I was fumbling around for my card, I looked up and found him staring me right in the eye. As he did, he became really enthused to wait on me. Chance are he was entranced with meeting a real live transgender woman. Or better yet, he was a novice cross dresser himself.

Now onto Connie and her rusty bucket:

FABULOUSCONNIEDEENovember 8, 2018 at 12:39 PM

"Who needs a bucket when, already, her cup runneth over?

I used to look at life as a long "To Do" list. I was prolific in my list-making, too. In fact, in my procrastinating way, I would spend as much time making lists as I did doing the things on the lists.

A list is all well and good, but it's how we prioritize that is important. The love of family and friends should be at the top of the list, and it's amazing how so many of the other things just fall into place when one does that.

A bucket list contains those things one wants to do or experience before death. At my age, many of the things that I never got around to doing or experiencing can no longer be accomplished. I never had listed regrets, and I'm not about to put them on my list now.

One of my favorite songs is "Nature Boy.":

The greatest thing,
You will ever learn,
Is just to love,
And be loved in return. "

Awwwh!  So nice :)