Trans Ohio Part I

There will be quite a bit of ground to cover about the Trans Ohio Symposium, so let me see what I can do, to do it right.

First of all, we did find time to do our nails and I went for the regular manicure with a dark mahogany polish, that I love! We will see now how long I can take care of them under normal wear and tear.

Columbus is only about a hundred miles or so from Cincinnati, so we had a chance to stop for a leisurely lunch and to stop at a metaphysical shop on the way to drop off one of our Ohio Valley Witches Ball brochures. From there, it was off to our hotel room and to relax, meet a trans guy friend and get ready for the nightly mixer at a laid back bar called Club Diversity in Columbus.

Diversity is a very laid back and enjoyable place south of downtown in an old mansion and we loved our annual visit again. (Especially Liz and the the Martini's,) From there it was off in the rain to Thurman's and one of their famous burgers. The hour wait for a seat was worth it!

Because we are old and had an early morning at the Symposium, we went back to the hotel and to sleep. As luck would have it, a major storm system nearly rained out the major running marathon Columbus holds every year and made it extremely difficult to get to The Ohio State University Student Union where the event was being held again. After showing up looking every bit the part of the wet dog, we got our coffee and settled into our first seminar.

Each hour or so we had our choice of at least three different workshops to chose from, and of course we chose the wrong one out of the chute. (Transgender history) Immediately,  this person pulls out about 30 pieces of paper and proceeds to read from them for an hour in a monotone voice. About 15 min into it, I am thinking was I back in college in one of the most boring courses ever? I had a heavy suspicion this person was some sort of an educator somewhere who specialized in making an interesting transgender topic BORING.

At any rate, our time was up, after about three peeps had to add in their comments and I was desperately hoping my choice of workshops would improve. And, they did.

Dramatically!  Plus, by the way, the presenter was some sort of an adjunct professor somewhere. I love it when I am right.

More coming up later :)

Cyrsti's Condo "Archive Post"

Saturday, June 29, 2013

Finding a Transgender Friendly Place

Did I get your attention with this title? Actually it's one of the bigger questions I get on a regular basis. Over the years I have tried to over think this process and come up with  complex answers I can't even follow.

Last night though, in a rare moment of brilliance- my transgender spirit guide said "listen dummy, you find your own places by just going there."

I thought for a moment a said "wow spirit peep you are on to something!"

Think about it, we all have the power to help a place to become transgender friendly. But of course there are rules:

One of the biggest misconceptions is that all gay venues are trans friendly.  The truth of the matter is you have to educate them the same as any other place.  They just don't know us. Recent surveys have indicated that only 10% of the population has met a transgender person-change that!

Shopping of almost any kind should be a given. After all you are spending money with the merchant.  You can also endear yourself if you don't treat women the way they treat each other. If you don't know, listen sometime.

Which brings me to what I assume are common sense points:

1- Never Assume your experience is going to be a bad one and be a bitch. With that attitude you will be right. More than likely you will give yourself and the rest of your trans sisters and brothers a bad start.
2.-Mind your own Business, be pleasant and TIP well when you are in a service situation.  You will indeed make a good impression.
3.-Go Back.  Maybe not common sense but a good point.  If you become a good customer, you will be remembered and even protected in certain situations.
4.-Communicate. I learned this one the hard way. When you don't talk to people they assume the worst about you. So what if you don't think you have the sexiest female voice around. Not using your best effort will hurt you more in the long run.

Last but certainly not least, rest room and dressing room usage.

Very iffy and very sensitive.  Too big of a subject to be covered here except to say I do have one definite standard. When I'm a great regular customer in the places I go-I can get my restroom privileges. Employees and managers get used to me using the women's room.  BUT any "civilian" (not an employee) can change that in an instant with a complaint.  The last thing I want to do is cause a scene. Years ago a male manager at one of my regular haunts revoked my rest room card.  I simply went up the street and established myself at a competitor.  About 6 months later, he got fired and a few of the employees who were still there came and invited me back. How nice was that?

Finally, YOU have the power to enable a place to become transgender friendly.  Just don't go dressing all crazy, acting like an idiot and being a poor citizen. You will just ruin it for all of us.

Pioneer Trans Women?

I have often wondered what transgender women did way back in the day who were crossing the country in covered wagons etc. Of course in higher society, men dressed in wigs etc, anyhow, but still I am sure had no doubt they were men (except in a couple well known historical cases...Chevalier d'Eon.)

d'Eon

Not unlike the guy at the meeting the other night who criticized the trans women in the room for wearing jeans. And, Connie added:

Hey, pioneer women wore dresses to do their gardening! :-)

"As for the proudly closeted cross dresser, he may not wear pants when he's alone, but he probably does pant...and maybe groan a little. Really, though, it's the same mindset as those bowling cross dressers I talked about before. When it's time to be a woman for them, then there is no room for ambiguity. They relish the dichotomy of it all. It didn't take long for me, after being around this group, to know that I did not identify with them. That doesn't make me better, nor should any of them think that they are better than I. It's sad that there are some in both camps who think their way is the right way, especially when we've all been placed under the same umbrella.

Sorry about the time constraints that will keep you from your manicure. Enjoy the symposium, but, for gosh sake, at least brush the garden dirt out from beneath your nails before you go! (otherwise, as your meeting friend says, you might as well go dressed as a man:-) "

I guess having dirt under my nails would be one way to really "butch it up!" 

Plus, I will be interested to see the age/gender mix at the symposium. In the past when I have went, there has been a heavy representation of trans guys and younger ones at that. 

Either Friday night when we go to the mixer and out on the town, I might wear a long skirt and matching top I have or save it for Saturday.