Party Down Witches

Before Covid and continuing to the present, various organizations have hosted "Witches Balls" around Cincinnati, Ohio. Back in the pre pandemic days I was fortunate enough to have had a really good time at several of the parties. Most of the parties contained various mixes of people in costume, belly dancers and pirates. Along the way I managed to dress sexy for one of the big witches ball and even was hit on by one of the pirates. I don't know if it was a combination of what he was drinking or the low lights in the venue which worked to disguise my true gender to him. But either way I was flattered because I was more than a little drunk at the time also.

First Witches Ball with Liz
High Heels and all.

A year later I was actually able to work on the committee putting the event together. They all knew I was a transgender woman and welcomed the help I provided. I couldn't do much because I needed to sit down quickly most of the time. So the two "most mature" individuals in the group were assigned to a table

Second Witches Ball with Tom
On the left.

selling items which benefitted the coven putting on the ball. It wasn't as much fun as I had in the past but at least the sitting down didn't put a strain on my sore back.

As far as gender recognition went, I was striving for more of a more authentic witch look more than any sort of sexy costumed appearance. By this time, I had transitioned away from the need to try to be sexy into a more appropriate well dressed woman. Hoping to blend into the crowded venue more easily. 

I can't tell you I had more fun but deep down I realized I was changing from needing Halloween to being such a major event for me.  One thing was for certain, my feet were more comfortable after I relaxed my "costume" requirements and started to wear flats to the venue. You can't see what I was wearing from the waist down in the second picture but I chose soft flowing legged pants along with my black flats. 

I still have one final fairly dramatic Halloween post which I have been saving for the end. In the meantime, the Witches Balls I attended played a major role in me transitioning from being a cross dresser into my authentic life as a transgender woman.

       

Just a Series of Walls

As I pause this month to look back on everything I experienced and learned from during my Halloween public experiences, in many ways, the experiences served to be predecessors to my future gender discoveries.

Wedding Photo with my daughter on the
left and Liz's son on the right.

At first I was all about my appearance, not  thinking how I looked would only take me so far in my quest to live a feminine life. Especially when I decided I was indeed a transgender woman. Not a cross dresser anymore, I decided to move forward again and transition into being a transgender woman. I realized at the time (finally) I wanted to be a woman, not just look like one. When I take the time to look back to the earliest days of blogging I can easily read how obsessed I was with appearance. One of the posts I remember was when one Saturday night I sat out to go to a local downtown festival in nearby Dayton, Ohio. I was very detailed into how I looked and how the public responded. I went before the sun went down and even went as far to wear sunglasses so I could judge reactions to me. Both positive and negative.

During this time I was unknowingly preparing to perhaps climb the biggest wall of all, the power to exist in a world which I knew ran onto the often invisible power of woman. Mixed in with the obvious draw of male privilege. Fitting in to this new world was a challenge which was difficult but one I desperately needed to face. Surprisingly to me, I had to climb this wall quicker than I thought I would. People (mostly other women) were quick to observe me more completely when on the other hand, men had a tendency to ignore me. As I made it to the top of the wall, the view I observed was at once terrifying and equally exciting all at the same time. 

It was about this time I was forced to face the fact other people wanted or needed to talk to me. Mainly from the time I spent when I began to leave the malls and clothing stores which for the most part were too easy and begin to stop for lunch. Which caused me to do my best to develop a feminine sounding voice quickly. Something I am still working on to this day. Yet another wall I have not totally climbed. 

Perhaps the final wall I have to climb will be what will happen when I die. Since Social Security just announce they would now honor gender changes, which may be a small benefit to us all. Even still, as I always write about if the final paranoia I feel when or if I have to be sent to an assisted living facility and/or a nursing home. I feel my problems could be magnified by the choice I made to have had no surgeries regarding my gender. I am also paranoid of what will happen to me if I am directed to stop taking my hormone replacement therapy medications.

As I look ahead to the wall ahead, I have decided to live my life to it's fullest the best I can. Even though I may be out of walls to climb.  

Inspiration

First Wedding Kiss

Today we were sent our wedding pictures by my daughter who along with my grandchild is an amazing photographer. 

Sadly, I don't think just one picture can convey the emotions I feel when I see it. Even though hormone replacement therapy has mellowed me out from copying the no emotion persona I inherited from my Dad. During the wedding ceremony, I barely made it through my prepared vows I made on my own without becoming emotional and began tearing up,

What I was trying to say was how much I loved all of the various things my new wife Liz did for me back when we first met. 

Outside of the major questions concerning my gender issues, Liz was instrumental in me coming out of a very dark time of my life. Essentially I had lost everything dear to me and for some reason came to believe I deserved it. Anytime I came close to drifting in the self detrimental decisions I somehow found myself getting into, Liz would pull me out of my funk. Obviously she (Liz) faced quite a bit of work she never backed away from.

Of course outside of my moody issues, my gender dysphoria came in a close second on occasion, or even took the lead on others. Life could be very difficult and I was difficult to live with. How did Liz handle it? She told me she had only ever seen a woman in me. Keep in mind also, at that time I was still working on transitioning from being a serious cross dresser to a novice transgender woman. In fact she was with me the night I took my first estradiol pills. Needless to say, a big moment in my life. 

As you can tell, Liz was and is pure inspiration to me and everyday I thank the powers to be in the universe for bringing us together. We met in the most unlikely way possible. In an relatively obscure on line dating site when against all odds Liz responded to my "sad eyed" picture and the rest as some would say is history. 

Finally, I would thank all of you who went out of your way and take your valuable time to congratulate us. It means a lot!