The "Softer" Hormone

Photo Courtesy 
Jessie Hart

 Years ago I started down my path of hormone replacement therapy or also known as HRT. As I began the process I had many expectations of what would happen when the feminine hormones began to be introduced into my body. Before any of the HRT could begin, I needed to find a doctor to pronounce me healthy enough to do it. Fortunately I was and I found a doctor who would start me on a minimum dosage to again find out if my body could tolerate the changes. My warning to everyone is to NOT begin HRT without consulting a doctor. Just recently I had an acquaintance who almost died from hormone induced blood clots. To make a long story short she had to stop the hormones to save her life. 

As I mentioned, none of that happened with me and within a small time I was allowed to increase my dosage. At the same time, definite changes were beginning to emerge. I was starting to "grow" breasts, my skin was softening and my hair was beginning to really grow. I think many of the increased changes may have occurred because I was older (60), my testosterone was in decline anyhow and perhaps I may have had a natural estrogen higher level to work from. I have no way of knowing that now.

All I know now is very quickly I was beginning to appear very androgynous. During that period of my life I was more into appearance than anything else. It was during the period of time I was transitioning from being a cross dresser to being a full fledged transgender woman. Also about this time was when I also became aware of the Veterans Administration's acceptance of transgender care for veterans up to and including HRT. So, being a veteran, I transferred all my gender treatment to the VA. When I did I was able to have my hormonal dosage increased so the changes did also. 

This time the changes began to take on a softer internal route. An example would be the night I was brought to tears when I was sitting on my porch watching an oncoming storm roll in. I don't know why I cried but I did. As it turned out, crying was just the tip of the iceberg. Very quickly I was becoming noticeably internally softer. My internal body temperature changed as I was colder than I had ever been in my life. Plus my sense of smell became more intense. 

You may think I found out the hormonal way that estrogen in reality did mellow me out and was much more than a method to femininize my body. Ironically too, the changes keep coming after all these years (7) on HRT. This morning I was marveling how feminine my thighs are becoming and how much better they will look this fall in my leggings. 

As I wrap this post up, I can only say hormone replacement therapy is a wonderful method to femininize yourself inside and out. But I know too, not all either think they need it or can't tolerate it medically. 

Whatever the case be careful.      

The Gender Blender

Photo from Unsplash 

Recently I have been binging on PBS cooking shows. In other words, Martha Stewart and her minions for some reason interest me because even though I can cook, Liz does most all of it for us. So  the same as most of the things I do in life nothing makes total sense. 

As I watched the shows though one of the things I noticed was the reliance all the cooks have for food blenders and/or processors. Then of course I started to think how my gender during my life has been affected by a huge blender.

Early on I seemed to add in (or sneak in) as much feminine life I could. As the blender turned, my old male self prevailed and I still tried my hardest to pursue a false life as a male. The solution was I began to add more and more feminine ingredients into the mix.

First it was just going out shopping as a woman. Then it grew into a much more serious path as I met and began to meet and establish friendships with those people who only knew my feminine side. Even with all of this happening, or maybe because of it, I started to add a bigger share of feminine ingredients into my gender mix. The more I added the better the mixture tasted. Even though I was risking the life of friends, family and male privilege I had worked so hard to establish. 

Finally, since my mixture was tasting so good and the results felt so natural, I decided to take the major step and add the hormone replacement therapy ingredients into the mix. Of course when I did it, the outward balance of my gender perception really began to shift to the feminine side. Plus  internally my emotional make up was changing also. 

The more I blended away my old male self, the more I didn't miss him. Life made it to a point where I barely remember him at all. Plus, I am so happy I made the choice to keep adding more and more feminine ingredients to my gender blender.

I am waiting now for a well known transgender chef to come up with their own cooking show and feature their own gender blender!

In the meantime, I can't thank all of you enough who subscribe, comment or clap for all my posts on several different writing platforms, it means everything to me and I even am able to retain a portion of your hard earned money if you subscribe. Thanks again!

Pic Nic Day

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

 I didn't think about it immediately but the picnic Liz and I attended yesterday was my first ever as my authentic self.  None of that mattered however, I was just looking to enjoy the day. 

I guess rule one with a picnic is having good weather and we were blessed with a close to perfect mid summer southern Ohio day. Rule two for me is having a place to sit down and eat. It is also important to note the picnic was hosted by the transgender - cross dresser group I am a member of. The majority of people attending I believe were transgender in various stages of transition along with a few spouses and cis women. 

The food was good and even the diverse group of people managed to play well together without any of the "I am more trans than you" rhetoric or any other politics sneaking in. With me others know what side of the political fence I am on and they leave me alone if they wanted to or not. 

It was nice also to see a few acquaintances we haven't seen in awhile and of course look back on a few of the long gone gay venues in Cincinnati we happen to frequent on different occasions. I am not from Cincinnati so my visits were far fewer than others. Plus I had to really try to come up with excuses to use on my wife on why I was spending a night away from home. How I worked it out was my company's headquarters was in Lexington, Kentucky so Cincinnati happened to be about mid point in my trip from home. I only managed to find it and make it there twice. Instead of staying overnight in Lexington, I would stay in Cincinnati.

One of the visits was very memorable. I got all dolled up in my best tight short mini, black top, heels and blond wig and I was ready to go after applying my makeup. From my knowledge of gay male venues I was not expecting much attention but I got a real surprise. Fairly quickly I was attracting quite a bit of attention from a guy at the bar. In a relatively short period of time, he moved over close to me and started a conversation. 

It wasn't too long after that when he started to try to  touch me until this other woman showed up looking for him. Quickly I was thinking now what I did I get myself into. Then he made things worse in my mind when he aaid to her "Why don't you have legs like her (me)!" I just gave her a sign like I give up and walked away and luckily she did also. 

That was my share of picnic topics  while the other person was talking about having sex in cars with other guys. I guarantee our topic was spicier than the food! I can't speak for the rest of the thirty or so people that were there but I imagine their conservations were rated "PG".