A Transgender Gem

 

Last year, Jamie Lee Curtis's daughter Ruby sat down in the family's Los Angeles backyard with her mother and her father, comedy director Christopher Guest.

Ruby had something to tell them. She was going to come out as trans. But she wasn't able to.

"It was scary — just the sheer fact of telling them something about me they didn't know," Ruby tells PEOPLE, sitting down in their living room last week. "It was intimidating — but I wasn't worried. They had been so accepting of me my entire life."

So Ruby left, and then texted her mother. Remembers Jamie Lee: "I called her immediately. Needless to say there were some tears involved."

In the Beginning

 

As I look back, my life has been filled with a number of dynamic ironies. Of course, due to my gender dysphoria, presenting and living a feminine life rated towards the top of my list.

For example, let's take my military service for example. As you Cyrsti Condo regulars know, I went to high school and college during the Vietnam War days . Otherwise known as the draft era when the war was so unpopular participants had to be forced into service. While the idea of serving was not one of my goals at the time, steering clear of donating two or three years to the Army really upset me. Why? Even more than the prospect of leaving home and playing soldier for an extended length of time was the more daunting fear of not being able to express any of my feminine desires. Somehow I thought shaved legs and a mini skirt wouldn't make it on a guy in the Army. 

Here is where the irony comes in. After I served a year of my three years in Thailand, where many of the pretty prostitutes were boys (no I didn't do anything) I was sent to Germany to finish my three year tour of duty. In Germany I was destined to shave my legs, apply my makeup again, buy a wig and mini dress and attend a Halloween party.

How could I do this? Because I worked for the American Forces Radio and Television Service as a morning disc jockey in Stuttgart, Germany. By doing so, I was part of one of the most un-military units in the military at that time. In addition, since our broadcast unit was so small, we received extra money to live off base. Plus, close by was a big "PX" (mini shopping mall) where I could pick up some much needed items also. An example would be a wig.

As the party approached, I still remember the apprehension I felt. Prior to this Halloween, I never had the nerve to express my feminine desires in a public setting before. Plus, I needed a place to do my "prep" work. Here is where the woman who was destined to become my first wife comes in. I was able to borrow her apartment to shave my face, legs and apply my wig, dress and makeup. All too soon it was time to leave for the party.

The overwhelming majority of the people at the party were from a local medic's unit which was also stationed nearby. So the only people I really knew when I arrived were my future wife and two others.

This all happened back in 1973 so there are no pictures and a whirlwind of memories. I only remember the amazement of several people concerning my costume and the rush of hands on my panty hosed legs. Back in those days it all validated my fragile idea of being a woman. 

Weeks went by after the party until one night as we were under in influence of great German beer, the subject of our costumes came up.  I was lucky. When it was my turn to discuss "costume", I told the truth and said I was a transvestite which could have been enough to get me kicked out of the Army if anyone told. No one did and even more important, no one cared.

It turned out my most feared time of my life (being in the military) would turn out to be the most beneficial. I was honorably discharged, married my first wife, fathered a very accepting daughter and went on to use Veterans Administration resources I accrued. Including HRT. 

Life is but a circle. What I feared the most came back to help the most.

Belle of the Ball

 This is actually a two part post combined into one because it involves a similar topic.

As I began to become more comfortable in going out on Halloween in feminine attire, I decided to try my good fortune by going to large so called straight venues. In my mind to do it correctly I had to go by myself without my wife.

The first time I tried it was with my first wife who was very vanilla and didn't really seem to care. I often thought I could tell her I was going out for gender realignment surgery and she would not care. At any rate, as Halloween approached that year, I had already made up my mind I was going to the biggest venue in town as a woman and see what happened. 

My "costume" was all in black with a tight sweater, mini skirt, black tights and blonde straight wig. All topped off with a black beret. The whole outfit worked well as people I thought I knew merely passed me off as another costumed Halloween person. However, all of it came to a halt when a person in a full mask stopped to see me and said he knew who I was. I was floored! How could anyone see through my elaborate "costume"? Finally I said how did he know me and he said I looked exactly like my Mother. It turns out he was a childhood friend who knew my Mom. Turned out later he was a notorious transphobe who made extremely derogatory comments about me behind my back. But that's another story.

Other than him, the night I thought went well and I enjoyed myself immensely. What I was discovering though was how natural I felt when I dressed in feminine mode and interacted with the public.

The second part of this post deals with another experience I had when I was away from home training managers for a company I worked for. This one occurred with my second wife who also knew I cross dressed but was much more strict about my comings and goings. 

Once I found out I was scheduled for a training seminar in a city I had to overnight in for a couple of days over Halloween, all I really had to do was figure out how to sneak a "costume" out of the house for the evening along with all my work clothes of course. With a little creative packing I was able to pack what I needed.

For the evening I basically had the same objective. Dress to blend with the other women at the venue in their Halloween costumes. I found a tight, short faux leather skirt and top, added fish nets, heels and heavy make up with a blond wig and off I went. 

Much like the first night, all went well except for a few unwanted butt feel ups. All to quickly as I always say, it was back to being my same boring guy self. The only problem this time was I had to chase my gender euphoric fog in a hurry. The very next morning I had to teach a class at 8 AM.  I made it time wise after triple checking I removed all the makeup from the night before. 

While I certainly wasn't the "belle" of either ball, I still had a great time!