Gaurav Arora (below) who is now known as Gauri Arora is a known TV personality and has been a part of many Bollywood and television projects. Before her sex change, she had participated in the reality show Splitsvilla and then took part in India's Next Top Model as Gauri Arora after having undergone sex-realignment surgery. Back then, she had said that it takes a lot of courage to accept the reality and come out in public
Parents who love and support their transgender children are saints! I can't imagine having such supportive parents when I was growing up. In another era before the internet and any social media. Perhaps we can refer to the time as the transgender "dark ages"/
Change is slow though and it wasn't so long ago I was writing about the local transgender teenager Leelah Alcorn (below) who committed suicide when her parents tried to force her to continue intense religious conversion therapy.
I am writing this post today because of a comment I received from Janine :
" My son is trans and it is great to read insight from others so that I can support him better. Thank you"
Janine now joins my former hair dresser Theresa as transgender advocates of trans children who have commented on the blog, or in Theresa's case, in person. (Theresa is the proud mother too of a trans son.)
It's a far cry from the experience I had with my Mom when she offered to send me to electro shock therapy. Fortunately, I was old enough (22) and secure enough in myself to reject her and it was never brought up again by either of us.
Finally, thanks Janice and Theresa for restoring my faith in human nature. You are saints!
If you feel "Impostor Syndrome" in addition to, or part of gender dysphoria this post from Kira Moore's Closet may help.
To me in my past, Imposter Syndrome has crossed gender lines many times in my life. For example, as I climbed the professional ladder in my business profession as a guy, even though I had nearly reached the top, feeling as if I did was still difficult.
Actually, the term dates back to the early 1970's when it was mentioned by two women :
One of its early introductions was in a 1978 article titled, "The Impostor Phenomenon in High Achieving Women: Dynamics and Therapeutic Intervention," by psychologists Dr. Pauline R. Clance and Dr. Suzanne A. Imes. “Impostor syndrome is a set of beliefs that leave you feeling doubtful of your skills, ability, and whether you deserve to be at the table, and that you will inevitably be exposed as a fraud,” says Dr. Ayanna Abrams, Psy.D., Licensed Clinical Psychologist and owner of Ascension Behavioral Health in Atlanta, GA.
Outside of the clinical look at the process, the whole idea to me brings back memories of my "girls' nights outs." Outside of being scared to death, I kept having the deep seated fear of not belonging. Even though the conversations still involved me and didn't really have any of the mystical gender fantasies I had manufactured in my mind and held onto over the years. In other words, if I could finally make it into the "woman's" gender sandbox, I could gain so much knowledge. Indirectly I did.
The article goes on to explain how the syndrome is extra difficult for marginalized communities such as the LGBTQ groups to overcome. And, how becoming part of a community can help.
Agsain, using myself as an example, I think I was able to overcome my idea I was somehow an impostor in the cis woman sandbox because I started to understand many of the cis women respected me for making the transition into being a full time transgender woman. Even though I still had my detractors in the group, I was overwhelmingly made to feel welcome.
Once I finally came to the conclusion I could never fully play in the girls sandbox as a native, I had earned my way in as a woman of transgender experience. Once I arrived, I lost the impostor syndrome for good.
To read more, go here.
Image from Rafella Mendes Diniz on UnSplash. I am biased, but I think adjusting to a lifestyle in a gender you were not born into is one o...
