How to Identify a Trans Woman

Bobbie sent me a link on a very interesting post concerning a very proud view of how to identify another transgender woman, from a possible "admirer". The post is I think a couple of years old and is approximately a six minute read. It specifically goes into a few of the challenges we face as we try to make it in a feminine world. Here are a couple excerpts. The first considers height:

" Height is perhaps the easiest thing to look at first. Trans women are generally much taller than their cisgender peers. The shortest trans woman is invariably of “average” to “above-average” height for a woman. So, a trans woman of “average” height compared to other trans women is downright statuesque when compared to her cisgender peers.Unlike high fashion models, whose height often accentuates their frail frames, the height of trans women speaks only of excellence, and fortitude. It is a height that comes from an unrelenting and undaunted pursuit of freedom and justice. Trans women shine out, like a beacon of this freedom and justice, over the forces that seek to see them bent or broken."

The second is legs: "Now, obviously, height alone won’t get you very far. After all, there are some — not many, but some — statuesque cis women. That’s why, after considering height, you need to move on to a more fine-grained analysis of the women around you. For example, you might take a moment to look at the legs of the women around you.

Trans women have incredibly long legs. In addition to their length, trans women’s legs are often firm and unyielding — particularly when it comes to their quadriceps and calves. Some say this is due to the effects of testosterone. However, those who have been around for a while know that this is not the case. The truth is trans women have powerful muscular legs because they carry with them a near immeasurable amount of self confidence every day. Self confidence that would weigh your average cis woman down. 

Laid over this raw power, there is also a softness — a downright sensualness —that amplifies the attractiveness of trans women’s thighs and calves. The legs of trans women are not all harsh angles and strength. They are supple, and smooth, and graceful.

Trans women have the sorts of legs that make you think, “She could snap someone in half with those!” And, if you really want to be certain that you’ve found a trans woman, look for the legs that, regardless of your gender or sexual orientation, make you wonder if the woman in question might snap you in half, if you treated her well and asked nicely."

Thirdly there are shoulders: "But of course, these sorts of powerful, beautiful legs are not entirely unique to trans women. Some cis women have rockin’ legs. That’s why you should also look closely at the shoulders of the women around you.

Trans women have broad, elegant shoulders. You know those power-shoulders women often talk about wanting? You know, the kind that say, “If you screw with me, I will flip you over my head into the nearest trash bin?” Trans girls got ‘em in spades. You’ll notice these immaculate, commanding shoulders peeking out from workout tanks, stretching out below elegant necks, and mirroring the width of the owner’s hips."

And faces: "trans and cis chins are often different. The chins of trans women are usually slightly larger than those of cis women. This is no accident. When trans women raise their chins up slightly, they want to be sure that the gesture thoroughly conveys the sense of personal pride that they have. A smaller, more petite chin can convey pride, sure. However, such a diminutive chin often conveys pride of the aristocratic or elitist sort. On the contrary, the pride that trans women have is a wholesome, blue collar sort — the sort of pride earned through a hard day’s, or a hard life’s, work.

Trans women likewise often have a stronger jaw than most cis women. This comes from years of practice in being, and looking, determined. Through the countless occasions in which trans women have to set their jaw and push forward with composure and grace, it inevitably develops a certain width and breadth that says, “I know who and what I am, and what I am is unstoppable.” This sort of determination is hard won, and so trans women wear it for all to see."

Finally (for this post) the author puts it all together: "However, you can be relatively sure that you have found a trans woman when you have found a woman who stands head and shoulders above her peers; who is powerful and sensual; and who commands respect. You can be sure that you have found a trans woman when you have found a woman who is proud of herself; who is determined; and who is intelligent, brave and revolutionary."

This is not all there is to this post written by Galen Mitchell. You can read the whole post here. Thanks again Bobbie for sending along an interesting different look at transgender women!

Happy Mother's Day

Or should I say, "Happy parental unit day?" That's what my daughter calls me. 

This is my usual Mother's Day post. My mom was a 5'2" head strong dynamo of a person and not one I ever thought would be accepting of having a daughter instead of a son. My only "coming out" moment with her didn't come until I was well into my twenties and was just honorably discharged from the Army. One night when I was coming home after partying all night with my friends, I came home and found her waiting up for me. I was operating under the power of intoxication and somehow the topic came up (I don't remember how) and I told her I was a "transvestite." She didn't miss a beat and said she would pay for electrode shock therapy to help relieve myself of my "problem." I quickly told her, I didn't have a problem and no, she wasn't paying for anyone to hook me up to a wall socket. Ironically, that turned out to be the only time the subject was ever brought up again. She has since passed on many years ago. 

For years, I resented her reaction to my coming out declaration. Then, I began to consider her life as part of the "Greatest Generation." I realized her offer of help was just that. Help for a perceived problem she thought I had. No more and no less. 

When the time came to legally change my name, my daughter and I got together to come up with a name which would be easy for her three kids to respond to. At the same time, I began to think of family names which might work. Finally, I decided to honor my Mom by accepting her name as my middle name. 

Perhaps now, she would be more accepting of having a daughter instead of a son.

Happy "Parental Unit Day" to you all!

A Delicate Subject

From 2014 After My First Hair Salon Visit

As I am continuing to write different chapters in my book, one in particular has me slightly on edge. I have named the Chapter, "What is a Woman?" It's one of the chapters I literally started years ago and I was surprised how much my ideas have changed. For one, I have mellowed out in my overall ideas. Even though my basic ideas have not changed. I  don't believe biological females are born women. I also believe biological males are not born men. Both genders are socialized during their lives to hopefully become women and/or men. So where does that leave transgender women? If it walks like a duck, acts like a duck and look likes a duck...is it a duck? 

Naturally, we trans women find ourselves in a different place than biological women. We found our path to our own unique brand of womanhood a totally different way. Unfortunately, many of us were scarred by the process. Personally I knew women operated on a more layered existence than men. Although times do seem to be changing slightly, it is normally up to the women to raise a family (including taking care of a man) kids and a house while often having to hold down a job. I can't imagine the stress involved with living that kind of life. 

All of this takes me back to my cross dressing days when my wife accused me of just wanting to pick the "fun" aspects of being a woman and leaving the rest behind. I was guilty as charged. 

It's true also that cis women lead a rather intense hormonal driven life. At puberty they go through the intense changes which basically stick around (with monthly periods mixed in for good measure) until menopause. Even though the binary gender known as cis women live longer than cis men, they face an old age made of various illnesses such as brittle bones. I read somewhere that men live brief violent lives compared to long miserable lives for women. 

Regardless of all of that, I believe my journey on both sides of the gender fence has led me to quite a few unique perspectives. Plus, my addition of feminine hormones has given my emotions a feminine edge, or at the least more of a softer exterior to match an interior person who often longed for the feminine side of life. I don't think HRT has made me anymore of a trans woman but has helped me to feel more of the world along the way. 

Bottom line is, for either binary gender, it's not how you feel as much as how you interact with the world. It just so happened that everyday when I woke up in the morning, I questioned my gender and I forever will regret having to do that. Along the way, I had to find away to succeed in the male dominated world I was in and I did. Thus, I knew how I felt but was never sure how I was going to interact and maintain any of the life as I knew it. 

I am going to take the easy way out here and say a "female" knows what she is from birth and sometimes grows into a woman. A transgender woman is not sure of what she is at first. But once she does discover it, she has a much of a chance of growing into a woman too as the female.