Interview with Nicole Maines

From Queerty:

"Nicole Maines once offered lessons in becoming herself. Now, she becomes someone else for a living.

The Maine native first made headlines as an anonymous student who sued her school district in 2013 over bathroom discrimination. School officials had barred Maines, who is transgender, from using the women’s bathrooms. She won her case, and eventually went public to describe the experience in the family memoir Becoming Nicole: The Transformation of an American Family.

Maines’ activism also led to on-camera appearances in television and film discussing her experience as a transgender American. Her natural charisma also led to acting opportunities, including appearing as the first transgender superhero on American television with her role as Dreamer/Nia Nal on The CW series Supergirl, produced by Greg Berlanti. Last year, she also earned acclaim (and a Queerty Nomination) for her work as a vampire in the indie horror film Bit.

With her star on the rise, Queerty snagged some time to chat with Maines about the unusual trajectory of her life, her newfound acting career, and her survival lessons for the COVID-19 lockdown. Supergirl airs Sundays on The CW."

To read the interview, go here.

Rest Room Review

I have been spending quite a bit of my time these days working on my new book. Yesterday, I spent my Sunday afternoon working on a chapter about restroom manners and the average transgender woman. Fortunately, over the years I believe times have changed as far as the simple act of using the women's restroom. Unfortunately, we still hear on occasion, times when trans women have been harassed or even worse injured attempting to use a women's room. 

The basic problem still exists, many continue to struggle to present properly as a feminine woman. It is so difficult to fight years of testosterone poisoning. It is similar to so many other aspects of being a trans woman (or a cross dresser). We simply don't have the upbringing cis girls and women are able to take advantage of. We have to catch up quickly and even be better just to survive in the world. 

In order to get to a rest room survival place, it is essential to develop and follow a common sense approach to your "Girl Code". One of the most basic rules is to always sit down to pee. I mention this because years ago I encountered a couple cross dressers who didn't. When I first started to use the women's bathroom, I even listened closely to mimic as close as I could my flow into the bowl similar to the women next to me in a stall. Another point is to always check to see if you have enough toilet paper for you to use and to help out another woman in the next stall who needs it. I even carried a feminine hygiene product in my purse in case I was challenged by another woman who just wanted to find out what I would say.

Another a couple of small hints are, make sure you use a stall which locks and if at all possible has a hook to hang your purse from so you don't have to sit it on a potentially nasty floor. Speaking of nasty always check the toilet seat before you sit down!

On several other levels, learn to be efficient. Always wash your hands, adjust your hair and makeup and keep moving. It is always possible you could be waiting in line for your turn, so depending on the other women, you may be required to acknowledge them with a knowing smile, If you are afraid of outing yourself with your voice, use your cell phone as a prop.  Similar to so many people these days, you won't have to communicate with anyone and you will discover most other women won't notice you either.

Finally, if you run into any problems, ask to speak to the management. Unless you live in a very rural redneck region, more companies are coming around to supporting the transgender part of the LGBT population. And, the way it is looking, when/if the world ever returns to a new normal. Companies may need your business more than ever. 

It's been years since I have had any restroom problems but decades ago I was kicked out of one venue and had the police called on me in another. I still carry the scars with me and seek out an unisex bathroom where ever I can. After all if I wait too long, the results could be ugly!

 

It's a Waiting Game

This morning as I was thinking about what I was going to wear to the grocery store, I wondered if I should pick a quick outfit which would match the mask Liz made me. Then I wondered why bother? On the other hand I figured I could be a proper transgender woman and at the least focus on my making up my eyes. So I did. Leggings, cowl neck hip hugging sweater and tennis shoes completed my fancy once a week time to go shopping outfit. Predictably, the early Easter Sunday morning market was sparsely populated. Surprisingly, the shelves were still fairly well stocked so we found everything we went shopping for.  

As we returned home, I said a silent prayer to the Goddess asking for protection from the nasty virus. Then I began to think I need to be patient once again and stay in as much as possible, Looking back on my life, I should be used to it.

Aren't all trans women and men involved in a waiting game? From our earliest moments exploring the fantastic feminine clothing and makeup we found to the time we had to wait before we could find a safe time to explore again. Then, as our lives fast forwarded, many of us had to wait a year at a time for Halloween to cross dress, often for the first time in the public's eyes. For many of us too, the waiting was just beginning.

Perhaps the longest, most intense, waiting game of all involves beginning hormone replacement therapy. I remember vividly how quickly I wanted to progress with all the promised feminine changes. It seemed the stronger the desire for progress, the longer the process took. In other words, "a watched pot never boils." Well finally, the boiling began and I did begin to develop the feminine characteristics I so craved. Before I knew it, I was carefully trying to wear very loose fitting shirts to hide my budding breasts. Following seven years of being on the HRT regimen I can safely look back on it and realize nothing came easily or quickly.  

There are plenty of waiting games to consider too. Take for example the time it takes a transgender person to realize they were living a lie and desperately needs to come out. Or the time it takes many cross dressers to decide they may be more than a lover of feminine clothes and more of a woman. And, let's not forget the time it takes to either unravel old relationships and begin new ones. 

After all this waiting, what's another couple months (I hope) before life returns to a new normal.