Just Smile...Dammit

Do women smile more than men? And if they do, what does it mean to you?

Obviously, if you are trying to insert yourself into a feminine world, you should learn to smile more. Think about it, once you have perfectly thought of every feminine detail concerning your outfit, makeup and hair...don't forget to smile. It's the perfect accessory.

However, as with anything else which has to do with the human gender, this idea gets very complex too. I initially thought of the idea for this post after seeing a handwritten sign in my local coffee shop which said something like women smile eight times more than men. I researched and couldn't find that number but I did find an interesting article to share with all of you. It's from Slate and here is an excerpt:

"Women have to be nice. “Show me a smile” is a staple of street harassment (the ur-creep of the genre being Heath Ledger’s Joker, a lank-haired greaseball leering, “Why so serious?”) And when they are not, when they are merely impassive or thoughtful, they can be held up for mockery and branded as rude.

To ask why is to step into the laser grid of unspoken rules governing the arrangement of male and female faces—the gendered ways we police social performance. (If you’re a woman who thinks this sort of policing doesn’t happen in real life, consider whether a friend has ever yanked you from an introspective haze by asking “Are you mad at me?” She probably meant: Why aren’t you smiling?) We’ve tangled up so many notions of gender in our smiles that the presence or absence of a grin has come to imply a distinction between male and female. In one study, babies dressed in green and yellow were paraded before a group of onlookers. When the infants cooed, gurgled and smiled, the observers tagged them as girls; fretters and criers were assumed to be boys. The effect persisted when a different group of participants was presented with images of cheerful or angry adult faces. People readily identified smiling women as female and wrathful men as male, but they took longer and stumbled more often when confronted with furious female countenances or beaming male ones."

For more, follow the link above to Slate and remember, the next time a woman smiles at you when you are out and about in your cross dressed best, perhaps she is doing what comes naturally. 

You should too.

Russian Bride

From the Moscow Times:

"Authorities in Russia have registered one of the first transgender marriages in a country that positions itself as a bastion of traditional family values.

Erika Askarova and Viktor Manuilin’s otherwise ordinary wedding made national headlines after the

two posted photographs from the registry office in the city of Kazan on Dec. 12. Askarova, 30, and Manuilin, 20, told news outlets that they decided to make their relationship official months after they both changed their gender."

Reportively, Russia still classifies transgender people as mentally ill.

"Mo" "Mo" "Mo"

No, it's not the beginning of a new Christmas song, it's my version of saying "more, more, more." Why you may ask? It's because of my posts entitled "Are There more Trans People?" and"Integration." Both Connie and Paula responded with comments.

Connie's comment included background on the picture she shared from ten years ago which you can see again by going to the post. And much more:

"When I went to your site, this morning, I scrolled down the page, only to see a large, old pic of me in-between pics of Janet Mock and Angela Ponce. All of a sudden, that old Sesame Street song, "One of These Things is Not Like the Other" started playing in my head. Then again, maybe I have more in common with them than I give myself credit for.

When the picture of me was taken, Janet was in her mid-twenties and Angela was still a teenager. While I, in my late fifties, was still only contemplating the possibility of my own transition, the two of them were already well on their ways. I doubt that their individual gender dysphoria were any greater than my own, though. What they did have was more opportunity and, may I say, privilege to express themselves than did I at a young age. Those of us trans women who waited until a much later age to come out may have been inspired by a younger generation, but the baggage we accumulated along the way has made it more difficult to do so. How many of us have dealt with the woulda-coulda-shouldas when we look at these beautiful young trans women who have gained such status? I would have to guess that there are still quite a few older trans women who are still in the closet, contemplating that very thing.

No, I don't think there is a higher percentage of transgender people in the world. There might be a case for more, if non-binary individuals are taken into account, but that is a subject for another discussion. When it comes to those who are assigned a gender at birth but who identify as another, the only difference I see is that they are more able to express themselves now than could be done in the past. As for myself, I can say that, had my earliest attempts at expressing my true gender identity not been quashed by my mother, the world could have known of one more trans person sixty-five years ago. I didn't stop being a trans person, though, even if it took me another half-century to begin to show the world that I was - and, more importantly who I was.

Another topic for a different discussion is the claim that there is a trans movement designed to turn children toward being trans. These people, making that claim, would tell you that this is, at least in part, the reason for an increase in the number of trans people."

It is my opinion, the earlier trans kids can begin their transitions the better, because they are able to take puberty blockers which enables them to "blend" in easier as their preferred gender. However, I do take into effect it's very early in life to being making such a huge decision. It is also my understanding though the effects can be reversed if the treatment stops. It's a difficult, complex subject. 

Paula's comment is slightly different:

"I think you're right in that it is not so much that there are more of us, but that we are more able to be out, and are more visible. At a recent training session I was surprised to find that in the UK there are more trans men than trans women, and more non binary people than either. We are experiencing a lot if attacks on trans women, but need to move our own campaign to focus more on getting rights and recognition for all."

It is probably just a matter of time before non binary people receive a higher level of visibility and acceptance. 

Thanks to both of you for your comments.